Kiss My Eyes and Lay Me to Sleep
by AnGeLs and DaEmOns
Summary: What if while preparing for their American tour, THE WANTED's youngest member, Nathan Sykes, meets a young girl who changes his life forever?
1. Glad You Came

**Mkayyy so, I've recently discovered a band called THE WANTED and now consider myself a proud member of their fanmily :) So I thought I'd do a fan fic based on Nathan Sykes, the youngest member! **

**Hope you enjoy ^_^ **

**~AnGeLs and DaEmOns~**

I looked out the window for like the hundredth time.

"Pacing like that ain't gonna make them get here any faster." My mom said as she sat down on the couch.

"Yeah, but I wanna make sure I see them as soon as they get here." I told her, running back downstairs to my room to brush my hair.

I was going to the movies with one of my best friends Autumn. Her mom was dropping us and Autumn's younger brother, Austin off at the theater while she went out with one of her friends. When I looked out the window again, they'd just pulled up in their silver Honda.

"I'm gone!" I called out just loud enough for mom to hear.

I was out the door and making my way to my friend's car before she could even respond.

"Hay sis." Autumn greeted me as I got in. I smiled. Tonight was going to be fun.

"This movie's gonna be the shit!" I squealed.

Autumn grinned wickedly. "Hell yeah!"

We both began laughing like crazy. We were going to see this new horror movie called "The Possession". Honestly, I was looking forward to getting my pants scared off.

* * *

Autumn and I retreated to the restroom when the movie finished. I looked in the mirror. My face was flushed and my eyeliner was threatening to smear from how hard I had laughed throughout the film. One look at my friend mirrored what was on mine.

"Ugh, I'm such a mess right now." I said as I attempted to fix the little bit of make up on my eyes.

Autumn looked in the mirror and did the same. "Me too girl, but that movie was funny as shit!" I chuckled.

"Daddy, you scared me." I said in a childlike, demonic voice.

We both laughed at my bad impersonation of the possessed child. "Why is that so funny?" Autumn asked between giggles.

I stopped laughing long enough to catch my breath.

"It was—just the way—she said it! So evil!"

We continued laughing till we were out of breath.

"Come on, I bet Austin's waiting." She said as two girls walked in.

Different POV

Our plane touched down in the United States. I always got excited when we traveled, but my home would truly be back in Gloucester with mum and Jessie. Thankfully we had two months to adjust to everything before we had to officially go on tour. The only downside for me was that I couldn't celebrate at the end of every concert like I wanted to. You had to be twenty-one to drink in this country. At least that would give me an excuse to party even harder once we got back to the UK.

"Ya ready fer this mate?" asked Max as he grabbed his bag.

I smiled broadly. "Hell yeah!"

Our driver dropped us off at a swanky hotel in some city called Greensboro in North Carolina. Already it was fucking hot as hell. Jayne, our manager, reserved us the suite on the top floor. Max was happy since it had a kitchen, and Tom was happy since there were a couple of fit girls down the hall. I already knew what him and Jay would be trying to do within the hour. Since he and Kelsey broke up, Tom had been taking it pretty hard. Maybe this tour would help him get back on his feet. Siva collapsed on the loveseat beside me, texting away on his iphone.

"Texting Nareesha?" I asked, twirling my blackberry around in my hand.

"Aye, she says she misses all of us already."

"She wouldn't be saying that when we're shite faced drunk!" Max commented, turning on the TV.

Jayne walked in, holding the first of many star bucks coffee cups. "Well, everything's been settled so ya can relax before the tour."

Everyone was thankful we had a full two months before our tour. "So anyone got plans tonight?"

* * *

How the hell had I made it here? Jayne was going to kill me if she found out. Currently I was in a taxi in a small ass town called Martinsville after a forty-minute bus ride from our hotel.

"You're not from around here are ya?" asked the taxi driver.

"UK." I clarified. "Anything worth seeing around here?"

"There's a little movie theatre not far from here, other than that there's not much else."

I thought for a moment. If I spent all that time getting here, I might as well do something. I pulled out a twenty. "Take me to the theatre."

As we pulled in to the small theatre, I sent a quick text to Jayne. _"Gone 2 the movies. BBL"_

I walked inside, vaguely wondering what movies were playing. I didn't really intend on watching anything but I just needed to get away for a bit.

"Can I help ya?" asked a blonde behind the counter.

I smiled politely and asked her what was playing. Finally, I decided on some horror film and waited until the earlier showing stopped. It was six thirty now, so it shouldn't be much longer. Idly I checked my twitter and facebook while I sat down on one of the benches.

_"So glad to be starting our tour soon! Hope to see everyone at the shows "_ I posted.

As I logged out of my accounts, I heard laughter, lots of it. I looked up and saw two girls walk out of the restroom. One was taller and had straight dirty blonde hair, while the other one was shorter with wavy red hair. Both girls were pretty but I could tell the blonde was wearing a lot of makeup. I couldn't really say with the other one. Both walked over to a short kid and walked outside. I turned and watched as all three stood, waiting for their ride, I guessed. After a few minutes the red head handed over her cell phone to the blonde. Blondie dialed a few digits and began talking animatedly on the phone. As she walked inside I could hear more and more of her conversation. The red head walked in quietly, but caught up with the blonde and said something to her before she began making her way over to the benches. Just then my phone began buzzing.

_"Have fun. Don't b out 2 late."_ Jayne's motherly text read.

I smirked and from the corner of my eye I saw the smaller girl's form stop short of where I was sitting. She cleared her throat, obviously wanting my attention. I put my phone away and prepared myself. Of course it'd start. More and more fans would want to get up close and personal with The Wanted's youngest member. As I looked up, I smiled and waited for the unending list of questions this girl would probably have for me.


	2. Spaghetti and Mr Sykes

"Excuse me," she said in a small voice. "D'ya mind if I sit next to you? Everywhere else is full."

I looked at the other two benches, and sure enough both were full to maximum capacity.

I shrugged. "Sure."

She smiled and took a timid seat next to me.

"Your friend seems to be quite the talker." I said, trying to make small chat with this girl. She nodded.

"Yeah, she was supposed to be calling her mom, but I guess she 'accidentally' called her boyfriend."

Her voice was small but it was sweet, not a harsh sound came out.

"Anyways, her mom's gonna kick her ass when she gets here and finds her on my phone." She continued.

I smiled mainly to myself. By the way this girl was acting, she either didn't know who I was, or if she did she wasn't a fan. A few moments later the blonde walked over to us and handed the redhead her phone.

"Mom just texted you. She's outside waiting."

The redhead nodded and stood up. "You enjoy talking to Justin? I know that's why you took my phone. Don't even deny it."

The blonde blushed and grinned. "Shut up!"

Just then, a car horn sounded from outside. Both girls looked outside as the boy I had seen them with called out to them.

"Autumn! China! Momma's here."

Both girls began walking off. Both girls looked about sixteen or seventeen. The blonde seemed to be the more outgoing one of the two. Redhead seemed quiet and a little more reserved.

"Hay, Red." I called out on impulse.

The girl spun around and faced me. She was a lot shorter than me, and that was saying something. I'd been the shortest in my year.

"You have a name?"

She smiled, revealing small white teeth. It seemed like everything about this girl was small.

"Yeah, it's China."

I was a bit taken aback. That was definitely not an everyday name.

"Well, I'm Nathan. Nathan Sykes."

She smiled and lowered her voice. "I know who you are, Nathan."

With that the girl turned and walked outside to meet her friend.

I sat there for a second, thinking about the girl; China. That was definitely an unusual name. And she knew about the band, but she sure as hell didn't act like it. Those few moments I had spent with her made me really want to find out more about her. I especially wanted to find out more about her bloody name…

China's POV

I walked outside the theater with Autumn.

"Holy shit! I can't believe Nathan Sykes is here! In town! What all did he say to you?" she asked me in a whisper.

I sighed. "I know! I'm in shock! He didn't say much. Probably thought I was boring or whatever."

That was the truth. Nathan Sykes probably spent his time with all the famous and beautiful girls that seemed to be attracted to him.

"Anyways, I wonder where the rest of the group was." I concluded.

* * *

As I made my way to the car, I heard my name being called out in a distinct British accent. I whirled around and saw none other than Nathan freaking Sykes walking towards me. I glanced at Autumn and went to meet the hunky Brit halfway.

"What's up?" I asked.

"I know this is short notice but I was wondering—would you want to hang out sometime?"

He stuck his hands in his pockets like he was nervous. I thought for a moment.

"Um, sure. When?" I asked.

He bit his lip and looked at my waiting ride. "I was gonna say tonight. I'll make sure you get back home safe. If that's okay with your mum?"

I turned and looked at my waiting ride.

"Yeah, let me make sure it's fine with my friend's mom. She brought us here."

"Brilliant. Uh, I'll just go wait inside." He said before retreating into the theater and I made my way to my friend's car.

"China, who was that?" Barbara asked as I walked up to the window on her side of the car.

"Momma, you know that song _'Glad You Came'_ that we like so good?" Autumn interjected.

"Yeah."

"He sings in that song, him and his band called 'The Wanted'. If you don't believe me look him up. His name's Nathan Sykes and he's from the Britain." She finished.

I was thankful that my friend was able to explain this situation for me.

"Oh my gosh. So what'd he say?" her mom asked.

I blushed and bit my cheek. "He, um, wants to hang out with me tonight. I told him I'd check with you first."

"Well, I mean he seems like a nice guy. At least he let you check with me first. I don't know though. It's not my decision."

I sighed. Of course Barbara would leave it up to me.

"I think you should go. It's not like it's a date or nothing. And if he tries to make a move on you or anything you can just call us and we'll pick you up." Autumn added in.

"Yeah, if he makes you uncomfortable just text our phone and we'll come get you." Barbara continued.

I nodded. Guess I was spending the evening hanging out with Nathan fucking Sykes.

"Tell me all about it when you get home!" Autumn insisted as Barbara started the car.

I smiled. "Sure thing."

I watched as they pulled out of the parking lot. Butterflies or moths were flying around in my stomach, making me jittery. I turned and made my way towards the building. Oh God, why did I accept? I considered hightailing it to the Pizza Hut beside the highway and waiting to see if he'd leave, but I thought better of it. If I were in his position, I wouldn't want to be stood up.

* * *

I walked into the theater and searched for Nathan. Maybe he'd stood me up…? Maybe he asked me out just to be funny. If that were the case I was going to be super pissed. Just as those thoughts entered my mind, I saw him sitting back on the bench. Some little girl walked up to him and asked for his autograph. I waited while he talked to the child and waved when I caught his eye. He smiled and made his way over to me. Nervously I bit my lip.

"So, what'd ya have in mind?" I asked.

Suddenly my stomach growled viciously. I placed a hand over my stomach and blushed furiously.

"Sorry." I said timidly.

Nathan chuckled.

"Shut up." I shot back, but chuckled when I heard his stomach gurgle.

"Sorry." The sides of his face upturned into a slightly embarrassed smile.

"So, ya wanna get something to eat?" I ventured so far as to ask.

"Sounds bout right. Ya know any place good?"

I thought for a second. "D'ya like pizza? There's a Pizza Hut not far from here we can walk to."

"By all means, lead the way." He said as he fell in step beside me. Quietly, I sent up a prayer that things wouldn't be too horrible tonight.

Nathan's POV

China and I walked into the small pizza joint where this heavyset black woman took our order and told us to be seated. Finally the curiosity got to me. I just had to find out why she'd been named after the country, China.

"I'm sorry but I 'ave to know where ya got your name from. It's driving me bonkers."

She chuckled and took a sip of her drink.

"It's alright. Actually I was named after my grandpa. His nickname was 'China'. Stupid really." she finished, sounding embarrassed.

"I think it's a really cool name. Unique." I told her.

She smiled. "Thanks."

After a while our food was brought out. We both smiled as we smells of the spaghetti filled the air.

"Can I get you anything else?" the young waiter asked. He turned mainly to China.

"No, I think we're good." She told him politely.

The guy smirked. "Ya sure? Your drink looks a little low."

He wasn't even trying to hide the fact that he was checking her out.

"I said we were fine, thank you."

She glared up at the guy. The phrase "if looks could kill" popped into my mind.

After a moment the guy got the message and backed off.

"Fucking asshole." She muttered into her food.

She glanced up at me and smiled shyly. "So where's the rest of the group?"

I took a bite of my spaghetti and washed it down with a sip of Coca-Cola. "We're staying at the Holiday Inn in Greensboro. The rest of the guys are probably there now. Who knows what they're doing."

China chuckled. "And how'd you end up in this shitty town?"

I laughed as well. "Dunno. Jus got bored."


	3. Second Dates

**Okay so just an FYI the bold conversation pieces are Nathan and China's texts. The Italicized pieces are China and Autumn facebook chatting. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! :)**

After we'd finished eating we continued talking. This girl was really interesting. Turns out she was seventeen and had graduated early. She had three dogs and two cats, loved reading, and swimming was her life. She laughed at the story I had told her about me and the boys playing the shock game with dog collars.

"You guys are crazy." She chuckled as she sipped the last of her drink.

Just then,_ 'Bottoms' Up'_ by Trey Songz began playing from her phone. China blushed and smiled. Her music choice definitely didn't fit what she looked like. She was wearing a black tank top and a pair of capris so I took her for a more rock/punk genre. After a moment she groaned slightly.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

She sighed. "That was my mom. I told her I was eating and I'd be home soon."

"Oh, okay well we can leave now if you want. Just let me go to the bathroom and I'll be ready." I told her.

"Okay, Take your time."

* * *

China's POV

I watched as Nathan disappeared into the restroom. I couldn't stop smiling like a damn fool. How lucky was I that Nathan Sykes wanted to hang out with me? I already had a lie ready in case mom asked questions. Technically though it was a half-truth. I had told her I was out eating dinner, and I had been. But she assumed I had been eating with Autumn and her family. I'd be perfectly content in letting her believe I was still with my friend. Just then, I heard the restroom door open, but it was the lady's restroom door that had opened. I saw a small girl walk out and look around for her family. I had seen the family leave maybe a minute or so ago, but I didn't know they had left the little girl in the restroom. I saw the girl, who didn't look over seven, begin to cry. My heart went out to her.

"Excuse me, little girl?" I asked, as I approached her.

She acknowledged my presence, but couldn't suppress her tears. Gently I picked her up.

"Look, my name's China. We're gonna look for your mommy outside okay? We'll find her." I assured her as we walked outside.

As I looked around and asked the girl if she saw her car, I saw a mini van wheel in. A frantic looking woman with black hair and a guy with a salt and peppered beard and dark hair ran quickly exited the vehicle.

"Mommy! Daddy!" The little girl in my arms cried out.

I placed her on the ground and she ran into her parents' waiting arms.

"Baby! I'm so sorry! We'll never leave you again!"

Both parents then looked up at me.

"I can't thank you enough for finding my daughter." The young girl's dad said gratefully.

I shook his hand and told him it wasn't a problem. The mother grabbed me in a hug smothering me with "thank-you's" and grateful tears.

Before the family left the little girl hugged me tightly and thanked me for bringing her back to her parents. I smiled. I'd want someone to do the same if it were my kid that had gone missing. As I turned back towards the restaurant, I saw Nathan standing there, watching me.

"How long have you been standing there?" I asked, embarrassed.

He chuckled. "I saw ya take the girl back to her parents."

I laughed too. "Yeah they didn't know she was in the restroom when they left."

"I called a cab. Should be here in a few minutes." He said sitting down on the curb.

I joined him. "Thanks. You really didn't have to though."

* * *

I walked through the front door of my house. Mom was already going to be pissed, so there was no need in worrying her more by hiding in my room.

"Thought you were just going to the movies?" Mom asked in an accusing voice as I walked inside the house.

I stared straight at her. "Yeah, we did. Then we went to eat at Pizza Hut. 'Sides it ain't that late."

"Well, next time let me know ahead of time before you do something like that. I will ground you if you don't." she threatened.

I caught myself before I could scoff or roll my eyes. Last time she gave me this speech, I had stayed up at my cousin's house till after midnight. She told me that she wanted me to let her know if I was staying up there that late again or else I'd be grounded. The next time I stayed up there late, I didn't tell mom ahead of time and she didn't say a word about it. The third time it happened, she told me to tell everyone up there "Hi". This was just another empty threat.

* * *

I changed into my pajamas and brushed my teeth before I turned on my laptop. As I logged into my Facebook I saw I had about ten messages from Autumn about what had happened tonight.

_"OMG sis pleaz tell me how tha date went! :)"_

I smiled and went online to answer the unending questions that she had for me.

_"Hayy girl, yeaa I had fun :) it wasn't a date tho"_ I typed in.

_"sis pleaz u went out wif Nathan f'n Sykes!"_

_"Where'd yall go?"_

_"What'd yall do?"_ She asked.

_"well we went 2 pizza hut n hung out then we tuk a cab to my place."_

_"Aww, I bet u had fun didn't u? ;)"_

_"Yeaa I did xcept 4 this perv tht kept harrassin me durin dinner."_

_"BTW I GOT NATHAN"S NUMBR!"_ I just had to get that off my chest.

_"OMG! Sis thts aweome :)"_

_"Yeaa he's textin me now till he gets home. He sed textin me wud keep him occupied till he got to his hotel"_

_"Aww ;)"_

_"lol :p"_

_"shut up lol dang gurl this is jus crazy"_ I told her.

Just then my phone vibrated.

**"Hay I had a great time 2nite. hope I wasn't 2 boring lol"** Read Nathan's text. I nearly burst at the seems laughing.

**"U boring? Lol I hope I didn't bore u 2 death" **

**"But seriously I had fun 2nite 2 :)****"** I typed back.

I heard the front door slam shut. It was only minutes later before I heard mom giving dad a piece of her mind. He deserved it, an ultimatum. Day by day I was loosing respect for him because of his stupid biker club and his unquenchable thirst. I then turned back to my computer.

_"Ikr! :p"_

_"well wut all did u tlk bout durin dinner?"_

_"he askd me my age n then we got tlking bout diff stuff n I tld him I lyk reading"_

_"n he tld me sum stuff bout him n da group. Lyk he luvs family guy n is as bad as me n u wen it comes 2 food ahaha"_

I drummed my fingers as I waited for Autumn to reply to my messages. I felt another vibration from my phone.

**"Maybe we can hang out again soon?"** My face heated up as I read Nathan's text message.

**"yeaa tht'd b kool. Wen?"** I sent back.

I went back to Autumn's messages that she'd just sent me.

_"lmao aahahaha yeaa we like r food :p"_

_"we're pigs wen it comes 2 sweets lol"_

_"OMG sis he wants 2 hang out again! :) :)"_ I typed to my friend.

_"who? Nathan?"_

_"Yes Nathan! He jus textd me n asked if id wanna hang again. I tld him yeaa n asked wen."_

_"_

_lucky ;) I thnk he lyks u ;)"_

_"lol not a chance in hell :p"_

_"im sure he has a gf"_

I glanced at my phone and opened Nathan's text message.**"Um, is 2morro 2 soon? If so we can always reschedule."**

**"no 2morro'd b great :)**** where n when?" **I replied.

_"OMG SIS IM GOIN OUT WIF NATHAN AGAIN 2MORRO! :)"_ I typed into my chat box.

_"Sis thts awesum! Where yall goin?"_

_"Idk yet. He aint sed."_

As if on cue my phone alerted me to Nathan's message.

**"I heard bout this place in town called Celebration Station. Evr heard of it b4?"**

**"omg yeaa :)**** I 3 tht place. They have go carts n everything lol" **

_"Sis we're thnking bout goin 2 Celebration Station in Greensboro J"_

_"Awesum :)"_

**"Brilliant. So wud 10:30 b alright?" **

**"sure :) ****thtd b fine." **

_"I'm sposed 2 meet him 10:30 2morro"_

_"Cool girl :) im happy 4 u"_

_"Thanks I thnk im happy 2."_

**"Great. I'll pick u up round 10:30." **

**"Kool**** I'll b ready." **

_"Girl I cnt wait till 2morro :)"_

_"Aww im glad."_

_"Me 2. but idk wut 2 wear."_

_"well wut bout tht cute shirt u got Carolina Rebellion last yr?"_

_"n those cute cut off shorts ;)"_

_"Mkayy, I guess I cud do tht. Hope it dnt luk 2 trashy :/"_

_"it wnt girl trust me :)"_

_"u'll luk great"_

I sighed and went to find my Carolina Rebellion t-shirt and daisy duke shorts. This was bat shit crazy. I just couldn't believe that Nathan Sykes wanted to hang out with me again. This was too cool!

_"Well sis im gonna take a shower n hit the hay so I'll b ready 4 2morro."_ I typed in.

_"Okay girl yeaa im gonna go 2 bed 2. Justin's comin ovr 2morro."_

_"O have fun ;)"_

_"U 2 ;)"_

Soon I logged out of my Facebook and took a quick shower. Mom and dad seemed to have made up and were already in bed so I didn't have to worry about anyone else using the hot water. When I'd finished I straightened my hair out and laid my clothing out for tomorrow. As I lay in bed I thought about the whole evening. It definitely added a little spice to my boring life. Idly I wondered how tomorrow would go. I turned over on my side and closed my eyes, allowing sleep to engulf me.


	4. Celebration Station

**I'm so sorry that this chapter's a short one, but what I originally had didn't flow well :( As always I hope you enjoy it and if you'd be so kind as to leave me a review, that'd be amazing! ^_^ **

My phone's alarm woke me up at a quarter to nine the next morning. I smiled when I remembered that I was going to hang out with Nathan today. Quickly I ate a bowl of cereal and a piece of toast before I got dressed and finished straightening my hair.

"Still look fuckin awful…." I muttered as I brushed my straightened hair out. I'd never look pretty enough to be Nathan's girl.

* * *

"Enjoy your time here." The ticket sales lady said as Nathan and I purchased our tickets to get into Celebration Station.

"So where d'ya wanna go first?" He asked as he handed me my ticket.

"Let's do the duck boats!" My little cousin begged.

I rolled my eyes and Nathan chuckled as he got down on Sena's level.

"Pleaseee…." She drawled out.

"Alright but ya gotta catch me first!"

I laughed at the sight of my little cousin chasing Nathan Sykes, famous singer. It was quite comical.

* * *

"Babe why don't you go inside and get you something to drink. I need a minute to cool off." I told the red faced little girl as I handed her some money.

Both Nathan and I watched her small body disappear inside the building before we started walking around.

"I'm sorry I had to bring her along." I told him.

"It's no problem. 'Sides she's a cute kid."

"Thanks, she's a mean fucker though." I chuckled.

It was quiet for several moments. But it was a comfortable quiet. I could get used to this.

"Okay you've heard enough of my rambling. I wanna know more about you." Nathan blurted out.

I felt my face heat up. "Well, what d'ya want to know?"

"Family?"

"Mom, dad, grandma, who live with me. And I've got cousins who live up the street, nothing out of the ordinary."

"So who's the kid to you?"

"My cousin and her husband live two houses up from me. Sena's their kid. They unload her on me a lot. Guess I'm their built in babysitter." I chuckled nervously, trying to relieve some of the awkwardness.

"But you love her. I see the way you treat her. You treat her more like a sister than a cousin."

I nodded. "She doesn't have the greatest home life. I'm basically all she has. I just love her the best I can and hope she turns out okay."

A moment later, Sena reappeared with a drink and a pretzel.

"Hay I thought I told you just a drink." I scolded lightly.

Sena just beamed up at me, but frowned when I stole a bite of her precious treat.

"So, what's your favorite book? You said you liked reading." Nathan asked as we walked around the arcade.

"Um, I have two favorites."

"What are they?"

"This book called _The Hunted_ and another one called _Dreams of A Dark Warrior_."

"What are they about?"

"_The Hunted_'s about this girl who was abused as a child and watched her drunk dad kill her mom. About twenty years later, the girl turns out to be a serial killer. _Dreams of A Dark Warrior _is about a goddess who is in love with another magical being that dies soon after they get together. But before he dies, the goddess casts a spell over him so that he'll reincarnate until the day they find each other and make love for the first time."

"Wow." Was all he said. His eyes widened slightly, as if surprised.

"What? Don't like my reading material?" I chuckled.

"No, it's jus I never uh, took you for, uh…."

"You thought I didn't like dirty books?" I raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"Hay, you guys have your dirty magazines, and we girls gotta have something too. Our dirty little secrets are just books instead of magazines full of pin ups touching themselves."

Nathan laughed, and looked slightly red faced.

"What about movies?" He asked, obviously wanting to change the subject.

"I like a lot of movies. My favorites, I gotta say, are Boondock Saints, its sequel, all the Saw movies, and this movie called Red Canyon."

"So you like horror films a lot?" he asked.

"Kinda, I'll only watch them if they have a good plot and I can find some funny moments in them. My mom says I have a sick sense of humor though."

"Yeah, Tom and Jay like the Saw movies." He paused and chuckled slightly. "They dragged me to the first one on Halloween."

"And how'd you like it?" I asked.

"Jay and I liked it, but Tom stayed in the bathroom most of the time."

I couldn't help but laugh uncontrollably.

"He went with Jay a second time though he barely made it through it."

We both laughed, and I swore my ribs were bruising badly. I smiled when Sena came up to me.

"China, can we please ride go carts! Pleaseee." She asked in her sweet little voice.

"Okay, but ask Nathan if he wants to come with us too." I told her.

She nodded her head and turned to the famous star.

Sena's face and mine lit up when he agreed. I couldn't believe I was having this much fun hanging out with Nathan Sykes!


	5. That's All I Could Ask For

**Hope you guys are enjoying my story so far :) Anyways, my note from the last chapter still applies. Italics are facebook conversation pieces between Autumn and China. Bold pieces are the texts between Nathan and China :D Enjoy!**

***** THREE AND A HALF WEEKS LATER*****

"I've had a great time, Nathan." I told him as he helped me out of the taxi.

We'd gone out to get some ice cream then we ended up going to the movies. Afterwards we hung out at the park just talking. It was really fun.

"Yeah I did too." He smiled.

Seeing him smile made me smile too.

"Well, looks like I'm home." I said quietly.

The smile I had fell away and I looked down awkwardly. Reluctantly I turned to unlock the gate, but Nathan's hand gently grasped mine. Before I knew what was happening, Nathan pulled me against him and kissed me. For a second I was too shocked to react, but I quickly regained my composure and began kissing him back.

"Hay kid, ya go in an screw her or am I gonna have to sit here and watch?" the irritated cab driver said.

Nathan and I pulled away, but he still kept me close to him. We both looked at each other, and then glanced away.

"I, uh, best be going." He said quietly.

Before he slipped from my grasp, I pulled him back into a small kiss.

"Goodnight." I whispered.

"Night, I'll text you."

I nodded and turned back to the house. I smiled to myself as I walked towards the outdoor entrance to my room. Dad, more than likely was sitting down watching TV, half asleep in the living room and mom wouldn't be home for two more hours, about eleven. Grandma would be caged in her room, with the TV or the radio on. Yep, I was home sweet home.

Quickly I logged on my facebook and opened Autumn's chat window.

_"OMG Autumn get online! " I typed in._

_"I got sumin 2 tell u!"_

A few seconds later Autumn typed in her response.

_"Well, spill. Wuts up? Nun bad I hope!"_

I beamed like a freaking ten year old at Christmas as I sent my message back.

_"No its all gud, jus uh, I kissed Nathan! "_

_"OMG"_  
_"No way! How wuz it? ;)"_

_"Amazing! But da bad thang is, is tht the cab driver watched us n made it supr awkward lmao"_

_"ahaha! Im sorry but tht sounds like sumin tht wud happen 2 me."_

_"Ikr, I hope I didn't do bad tho :/ hes supposed 2 text me or call me latr…"_

_"Aw, dnt worry sis it'll b ok. I bet he's still smiling lyk a fool bout everything ;)"_

_"Hay, how did ur day wif Justin go? ;)"_

_"Oh we had funnnnn ;)"_

_"His mom doesn't care if we do it his house n she promised not 2 tell mom or daddy ;)"_

_"N let me tell u, wen he sed he'd ride me, he meant it!"_

_"I'm still sore n I got hickeys all on my shoulders lmao!"_

I chuckled. My best friend the whore.

_"Omg! U lil nasty! ;)"_

_"Ahahaha yep! I am :p"_

_"Lol hay imma go get ready 4 bed. Im wore out from spending da day wif Nath ;)"_

_"Lol kk yeaa imma go 2 bed 2. Night ttyl ^_^"_

_"Night "_

I logged out and shut my laptop down. As I passed the spare bedroom, I sighed and prayed silently that Sena wouldn't be hurt tonight. Seemed like it was my prayer every night.

After I changed into my pajamas I climbed into my bed and settled down to watch some TV. It wasn't long before I felt my phone vibrate. My face lit up when I saw Nathan's name pop up on the screen.

* * *

**"Good morning beautiful "** Nathan texted me the next morning.

I'd woken up, but had just been lying there in my bed. I smiled at the text.

**"Im not beautiful an u kno it. ur the hot 1 :p"** I texted back.

Nathan and I had agreed to start seeing each other. We didn't talk about what would happen next.

**"wut u doing 2day?"**

**"Thnkin bout makin sum coffee, but tryin 2 find da motivation lol"** I texted back.

**"Wanna meet up sumwhere latr 2day?"**

**"Sure remembr da lil coffee shop here in town tht we went 2? y dnt we meet up around lunch there?"**

**"Brilliant ill meet ya there"**

* * *

I fidgeted with my hat as I sipped on my coffee. Just then the bell over the door rang and Nathan walked in. He scanned the moderately crowded coffee shop as he ordered his beverage. I waved him over when I caught his attention. Of course, he had ordered a cup of tea.

"Shits' still not as good as what we get back home. How do you drink it?" he asked as he made a face.

I laughed. "Why d'ya think I stick with coffee? Coffee always beats tea."

"I'll take a nice cup of tea over coffee any day." He said as he sipped the hot beverage.

Childishly, I stuck my tongue out at him. He chuckled and made a grab for my hat.

"Hay!"

As I struggled to get my hat back, Nathan's arm grabbed me around my waist and pulled me to him. We became linked together as he kissed me sweetly. When we felt a few of the other patrons staring at us, we pulled away, blushing. Quietly I placed my hat back on my head and took another sip of my drink. Thoughts that had been simmering in my head since the night before threatened to make themselves known. I really wasn't too keen on finding out the answers, but I needed to know all the same.

"What're we doing Nathan?" I asked, meeting his eyes.

"Well, it looks like I'm sittin here having a drink with my girlfriend."

I played around with the title in my head for a moment. "Girlfriend."

"What? You don't like being called someone's girlfriend?" He asked, seeming worried.

I shook my head and did my damnedest to smile. "No, it's not that, it's jus—I'm not used to—being called something that affectionate."

He looked at me puzzled.

"My family's not really the—affectionate type. We don't say 'I love you', 'be safe', or even 'have a good day'. You're lucky if you get a 'don't do anything stupid' or a 'don't be late'."

I sipped on my coffee and stared out the window. I'm sure Nathan's eyes had widened considerably and I knew exactly what was going through his mind.

"Before you get the wrong idea, yes my parents love me, but it's sort of a dead love. Mom's working two jobs, dad's always with his bike club or drinking, my grandma half the time doesn't know what year it is, and I'm just there. I just exist. It's almost like a shell. The skeleton of our home is there but not the actual thing that makes it a home. We don't sit down and have a family dinner at night, we don't talk much, hell we barely even see each other."

Nathan was quiet, but I could tell he was listening. I placed my hand on his.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't know what I'm doing. I've been pretty much independent since I was ten and I've never actually been in a real relationship. I guess I'm scared."

He was still quiet. I looked down at the table, debating on whether or not I should get up and leave.

"Don't be scared." Nathan's voice was quiet, but I heard it.

Gently he grasped me and pulled me into his lap.

"I don't care about what happens at your house, or what your family's like." He whispered in my ear. "I just want to be with you."

A small smile began creeping up my face. "I'm here."

Nathan hugged me tighter and kissed my cheek. "Don't worry bout anything. We'll just take it a day at a time."

"That's all I could ask for."


	6. Jayne

***A week later***

"I told you to stop playing around so much." I scolded Sena as I saw her completely sudsy form standing in front of me.

It was Saturday so I had decided to wash my truck…. with a little help from my cousin.

"Come here. I gotta hose you down."

* * *

"Well hello ladies." A now familiar voice spoke up.

I whipped my head around and saw Nathan in a black sedan. As usual, he looked like he had just stepped out of a magazine. This made me remember I had on an old Metallica t-shirt and some cut off shorts. I definitely hadn't planned on getting a visit from my boyfriend.

"Nathan!" squealed out my little cousin as she ran towards his vehicle.

Nathan stepped out of the car and scooped Sena up in his arms. "Hay kid. What're you doing all wet?"

"I'm helping China wash the car." She beamed as he set her back on the ground.

I walked up to Nathan and gave him a closed mouthed kiss on the lips. "What're you doing here? That your car?"

He readjusted his hat and placed his hand around my waist. "I borrowed it from Jayne. She said she'd let me use it if I told her why I was coming down here so much."

I smirked at his blushing face. "Did you tell her or did she figure it out?"

"The guys pretty much knew the night we first hooked up. Jayne didn't know till Tom told her last night."

"And what'd she say?"

"I showed her a picture of you and she says you're a doll." He leaned down and kissed me sweetly.

"And I was thinking," he paused his sentence to nip at my neck, "that maybe today I could introduce you to the boys."

That made me freeze for a moment. "Today? But, I'm not even dressed."

"Go put on some clothes. I'll wait for you." He smiled and gave me his signature wink. Seriously, how could I resist him?

"Fine, I'll be out in a minute." I then looked at Sena. "Come on kid. I want you to stay and keep Gran company."

I knocked on Grandma's bedroom door. "Gran, are you up?"

I walked in and saw my grandmother sitting by her window. She looked like a timeless angel with her bright blue eyes and wispy gray hair.

"China dear, did you want something?"

I smiled. "Can you keep an eye on Sena for a while? I'm going out with a friend. Shouldn't be gone more than a few hours."

"Of course. Are you going with that young man out front?" She asked as Sena went and sat on my grandma's bed.

I blushed furiously. "Yeah, I'm gonna change then we're just going out riding."

"His name's Nathan. Him and China were kissing earlier." Sena blurted out.

Gran raised her eyebrows and looked from the troublesome seven year old to me.

"He's special to you isn't he?" she asked as she wrapped her housecoat around her.

I nodded, still blushing.

"Yeah. I'm uh, actually dating him. But please don't tell momma!" I said quickly.

Gran just chuckled and placed a hand on my cheek. "Don't worry dear. I've kept a few secrets in my day."

She paused and stared at me. "You remind me a lot of me when I was younger."

My eyes widened at her words. I just couldn't imagine my slightly senile grandmother, who had mild dementia and Parkinson's disease, doing things like going out with a guy behind her parents back. She seemed just, too innocent for that. Then again, my grandma had been a sly person back in her day.

"Well, don't keep him waiting. Go get ready."

I hugged Gran and Sena before going to change my clothes.

I walked out of the house in my faded blue jeans and my quarter sleeve purple shirt. I did my best to tame my wild, wavy hair and didn't bother with any make up. As promised, Nathan was waiting for me by the car. I knew I blushing like crazy, but he smiled and kissed my cheek.

"You look amazing, love."

"You don't look so bad yourself." I said as I made my way to the passenger's side.

Like a true gentleman, Nathan opened the door and made sure I had gotten in before he walked around and got in on his side. As he started the car, nervousness settled in my body, putting me slightly on edge. This was going to be a long ride.

* * *

As we neared the hotel, Nathan told me a little about each guy.

"Tom and Max are the best cooks of us, but Max cooks a lot more than Tom. Siva's really laid back, and Jay's got a cool lizard named Neytiri." He must've seen how apprehensive I was about meeting his friends, for he placed a hand on my shoulder.

"You'll really like them, China."

"I'm not worried about not liking them, but what if they don't like me?" I finally voiced what had been bothering me the whole ride up.

Nathan chuckled and kissed my forehead. "Come on. They're probably wondering where I am."

We took the elevator to the top floor where the suites were and started walking down the hall. We reached room, 1003 and Nathan knocked on the large wooden door.

After a moment, we heard the lock being slid out of place and a woman who looked about thirty or so with long curly hair stood before us. I stood where I was, slightly worried we had the wrong room but Nathan seemed at ease.

"Hello Nathan. Did you bring back my car? I need it for tomorrow." The woman said politely. Her voice was nice and distinctly British.

"Uh, yeah I did."

I didn't realize that Nathan had me practically wrapped around him. The woman eyed me cautiously then smiled warmly.

"So, this is why you've been gone this whole time, eh?" she chuckled and opened the door wider, motioning us for to come inside.

"Jayne, this is China, my girlfriend. China, this is Jayne, our manager." Nathan introduced.

I smiled and offered my hand out for Jayne to shake. "Hello, it's nice to meet you. Nath says a lot about you."

"I hope they're all good things…Nathan…" Jayne gave a mock glare at Nathan. All we could do was laugh at his face as he tried to defend himself.

We sat around talking for a bit with Jayne. I really liked her. She just had that motherly feel about her. I'm sure she had her hands full keeping track of her own kids, plus the boys.

"So have you been introduced to the boys yet?" she asked as she sipped on her tea.

"Not yet. I think we're gonna meet them in a little while." I said as I tried not to smile as Nathan's hand stroked my lower back.

"Well, you best be going. But don't let their heights and fame fool you dear. They're nothing but overgrown teenage boys. I'm sure I'll get a call complaining about the ruckus before the night's over." She laughed as she escorted us to the door.

Before we left, Jayne gave Nathan and I both a kiss on the cheek and a motherly hug.

"It really was nice to finally meet you, China. I hope we'll be seeing more of you around here."

"Babe you did great! See it wasn't so bad." Nathan whispered in my ear as he kissed my hair.

I smiled and hugged him. "I really like her. She's so nice."


	7. The Boys

We walked down the hall a ways and Nathan was able to open the door with his key card. I took a breath. I could do this. Jayne had said they were just ordinary guys. Nathan gave me a reassuring smile and held his hand out to me. I took it and walked inside with him. I wondered what the guys would think once they met me…

It was quiet when we walked into the suite. We were in the hallway. There was a door a few feet ahead on the left, and a closet on the right. I heard the sounds of video games on a TV. Guess they were in the sitting room playing _Call of Duty_ or something like that.

Just then we heard the flush of a toilet and someone washing their hands. I glanced at Nathan who gave my hand a small squeeze. We walked towards the door and waited to see which boy would come out.

A really tall man with tanned skin and jet-black hair stepped out, looking at his phone. By his high cheekbones I knew this had to be Siva.

"Oh, hello there." He said in a warm Irish lilt.

I smiled and said a quiet "hello" back.

"Mate this is China; my girlfriend." Nathan said as he pulled me closer to him. I felt a blush making its way up my cheeks.

"Ah, so you're China. We've heard a lot about you." The tall band member said, smiling. "I'm Siva by the way."

We then heard someone, it sounded like Tom; ask who was Siva talking to.

"I'm talking to Nathan and his girlfriend!" He called out.

I suppressed a chuckle and hid my face in Nathan's chest. Nathan then proceeded to hug me around the waist, forcing me to face the crowd that was coming. He leaned his head on my shoulder and kissed my cheek, tickling me with the scruff of his chin.

"Oh for God's sake, get a room you two!" Tom scolded us mockingly.

"I never knew you were the jealous type Thomas." I shot back with a wink. The boys started laughing hysterically.

"I like this one, Nath. She's feisty." Jay smiled. Max quickly agreed.

"Anyways, what's your name sweetheart?" Max asked, taking a sip of some beverage. I assumed it was tea.

"My name's China." I told them collectively and waited for the questions I knew would follow.

"So you're the girl Nath's been sneaking off to go see?" Jay asked. I nodded; slightly worried they'd be upset.

"If ya don't mind me asking, why are ya named China?" Max sounded the question I knew was on all of their minds.

I smiled and faced the group. Now that they were all here, they didn't seem so intimidating. "My grandfather's nickname was China. He died before I was born and my dad wanted to name me something that'd commemorate his dad…" They grew sort of quiet, respecting that I was named after a dead relative. "But, my nickname's Tokyo. I prefer that over China any day."

Tom looked at me weirdly, as did most of them. "How the bloody hell did you end up with that nickname?" He asked.

I nearly burst at the seams laughing. "My friend started calling me that when I first met him. He was convinced that Tokyo was a city in China. When I proved him wrong, the name stuck. Now everyone calls me that."

"Well, Tokyo, I'm Jay but you can call me Jay-bird." Jay smiled warmly at me.

I smiled back. "Well, Jay-bird I'm happy to meet you."

We all laughed and went to congregate in the sitting room. Jayne and Nathan were right. Behind all the fame and glory, they were just ordinary guys. They seemed really down to earth and appeared to like me. I hope they did. It'd be really awkward for me not to be on good terms with Nath's best friends and band mates…

* * *

I sat, curled up next to Nathan, watching Max feel Tom's ear and do a silly impersonation while Jay caught it on camera. Suddenly my phone vibrated, letting me know I had a text. I read it quickly and replied back.

"Babe you okay?" Nathan asked, kissing my hair.

I nodded. "Yeah, but I've got to be getting home soon. It's getting late."

"Okay, let me get the keys from Jayne." He said as he rubbed the small of my back before getting up.

"Ay, mate where you going?" Siva asked.

"I've gotta take China home."

"Nooo!" Tom exclaimed. "Tokyo you can't leave yet! The night's still young."

Soon all the boys were begging me to stay a little longer.

"Don't be such a party pooper, Tokyo." Jay pleaded as he stuck the camera in my face.

After a while, I began cracking. I really didn't want to leave just yet. I glanced at Nath.

"It's up to you love." He assured me.

"Alright, I'll stay." I told them. They each smiled and did a little victory cheer. "But just for a little while."

At ten thirty, Jayne came by to make sure we were okay before she bid us goodnight. We assured her we were fine and decided to watch a couple of movies. Tom picked out first one, which was The Butterfly Effect.

"Who you texting?" Nath asked when the movie started.

"I'm texting my friend Audrey. She's gonna cover me so I don't get in trouble with mom."

I took his silence as guilt. "Don't worry. I won't get in trouble." I whispered as I gave him a quick kiss on the lips. I snuggled back into his side and began watching the TV screen.

"I think China should pick the next movie, since she's Nath's girlfriend." Siva said as he went to the kitchen to make some popcorn. I smiled lazily and went to see what films they had.

I smiled when I saw one particular movie. I hadn't seen it in forever and I was sure that they'd be up to seeing it. I handed the movie to Tom. He grinned like a Cheshire cat as he saw the title.

"You like Saw?" He asked.

"Hell yeah! This one's my favorite one though." It was the third film of the series.

He grinned and grabbed me in a massive hug.

"Mate, your girlfriend's amazing!" He told Nathan.

"I know she is." He said, smiling as I sat down beside him and Jay.


	8. Breakfast With Tom-Tom

**Well here's another chapter :) I hope it doesn't feel like it's moving too slowly, but I wanted to make their relationship seem like something that could actually happen.. Happy reading! ^_^**

"Man this is so good." Max said as he dipped his spoon into the brownie mix we whipped up.

"Yes... it is." I said in between bites. "Orgasmic."

At that all of us started laughing like crazy. I mainly laughed at myself. Here I was, with my famous boyfriend, eating brownie mix at three thirty in the morning with him and his friends. How crazy was all of this? Siva walked around and began recording us on the video camera.

"This gonna be on Wanted Wednesday?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yeah we just collect footage all week long and take it to Jayne who edits it and picks the pieces she thinks would be good."

"Ya know, China's not been properly introduced yet." Max said quickly. Before I could even blink, the camera was pointing at me.

Nathan walked up behind me, snuggling his head in the crook of my neck as he wrapped his hands around my waist.

Siva pointed the camera to the rest of the boys then back to me before settling on the group.

"Ay' mates, who let the red head in?" he asked jokingly.

"Dunno. She just sneaked in here." Tom said, still enjoying the brownie mix.

"How'd you end up with the brownie mix?"

"I made it me self." Tom finished confidently.

Max came up to Tom and smacked the back of his head. "Ya dope! Tokyo made the brownie mix."

"Who's Tokyo?" he asked dumbly. I bit my lip to keep from laughing out loud.

Max pointed to me then grabbed Tom's ear. "Ya know, Nath's girlfriend. I'd be quiet if I were you. Nath gets a bit testy when it comes to her."

"Wait, I thought her name was China?"

"No, her name's Tokyo. Get yer facts straight."

"I could 'ave sworn it was China."

Just then Jay interrupted their playful argument. "Why don't we ask her ourselves?"

Siva came up to where Nathan and me were, smiling. "Why don't ya tell us your name deary."

"My name's China, but I also go by Tokyo."

Max and Tom started bantering again just for the camera's sake. Siva continued the interview.

"So what're you doing up here with us?"

"Well, we just got done making brownie mix, (yum), and erm, I think we're gonna watch a couple more movies 'fore we head to bed."

"So I see you getting comfy with Nath." Siva said, still smiling.

I blushed and smiled. "Yeah,"

"How long have you been going out?"

"Bout two, three weeks."

Nath grinned and whispered to me.

I playfully slapped his arm, grinning, and mumbled for him to stop it.

"I love you too." I whispered back before kissing him sweetly.

The two of us were so wrapped up in our own little world, we didn't realize that Siva had taken the camera and was filming the rest of the boys.

I awoke curled up next Nathan the following morning on his bed. His hand was snaked around my waist and he was snoring lightly. He looked so damn cute like that. Quickly I looked down at myself and took a small sigh a relief. I was still in my clothes, which means we hadn't done anything. Once I had taken mental note of myself, I uncurled myself from Nathan's warm body and went to use the bathroom. According to the clock, it was ten thirty in the morning.

"Morning sleeping beauty." A familiar male voice said.

I looked up at Tom who cast me a smile as he tossed a waffle on a plate. "Morning."

"You sleep well?" he asked. I nodded.

"You?" I asked.

He was silent and I took notice of the three plates of waffles, a plate of bacon, and a plate of sausage. There was a pot of tea on the stove, and a pot of coffee already made.

"Tom, how long have you been up?"

He sighed and put the spatula down. "Since bout five."

I saw how tired his face looked and the hurt in his eyes.

"Something wrong, Tom?" I asked, taking a seat at the bar.

He shook my concern off, but I persisted.

"Tom, I know you barely know me but I'll listen. If you want to talk about it of course. If not, that's fine." I stumbled over my words and felt my face heat up. I was a sucker for wanting to help hurting people.

He sighed and sipped on his tea. "It's Kels. We broke up bout two and half months ago, and it's all my fault."

"How's it your fault? I heard she dumped you. Claimed you snogged someone while out clubbing."

"Don't believe everything ya hear."

"I don't. Tom, anyone could see how in love you were with her. Why'd you want to kiss someone else? It's just not you. D'ya know the real reason ya'll broke up?"

He was silent for a moment, collecting his thoughts. "She told me she didn't want me doing the tour this year. She wants me to quit the band and get a real job somewhere. But I don't want to. All I've ever wanted to do was be a musician and sing my heart out for people. My parents weren't well off when I was a kid, and I want is to make them proud and make something of myself."

"Did you tell her that?" I asked.

"Yeah, of course." He looked down at his feet for a moment, then looked away from me.

"She called me last night and said I could still choose between her and the band. Guess I made my decision then, huh?"

I honestly wasn't sure what to say next. Tom cast me a small smile and stuffed a piece of bacon in his mouth.

"I'm sorry. Didn't mean to load you down with all this heavy shit first thing in the morning."

"Oh it's fine. You feel better?" I asked.

He nodded and offered me a cup of coffee. "Loads. Thank you for listening."

I smiled, thankful that I had helped the pop star in some small way. "No problem."

"So… where ya from?" he asked after a few quiet moments.

"Small town called Martinsville in Virginia. It's about a forty five minute drive from here." I told him.

"Got any family?"

"Yeah. My mom, my dad, my Gran, a couple cousins."

"They know you're dating a famous guy?" He asked while making his plate of food.

"Not really. My parents work a lot. Don't have much time for anything else…" There was a moment of awkwardness. Tom just passed a plate piled with waffles and bacon to me.

"Eat. I don't need to eat all this by me self." He chuckled.

Politely I took the plate, but quickly realized how much food was on the plate.

"Tom, I can't eat all this. You're just trying to make me fat." I accused.

His infectious laugh resounded throughout the small kitchenette. "Just shut it. Jus fucking shut it. You weigh what? Maybe one hundred pounds soaking wet! You're so small I'm scared I'll crush you."

I rolled my eyes as I stuffed a bite of waffle into my mouth, savoring its buttery flavor.

"So what do your parents do?" Tom asked, seeming to feel better after our talk.

I finished swallowing my bite of waffle before answering him. "My mom has a little flower shop, and my dad's…a mechanic."

"A mechanic?"

"Yeah, he fixes up motorcycles and, erm, rides in his…club…" I finished awkwardly.

Tom just looked at me for a moment, slightly shocked. "A club? You mean a biker club? That's pretty bad ass."

"Not really. They go by the Phantoms. All they do is drink. And when they aren't drinking, they're dealing. They deal ammo, guns; hell they've even taken a few people out before, and now it's drugs. My uncle was part of them 'fore he died, my dad's in it for life, now my cousin's husband is in with them." I sighed and sipped on a soda I had gotten from the fridge. "I know you hear that the club's like family. We take care of our own and all that shit, but really it's like they suck all the life outta you till you can't breathe. Everything you do has to be for the good of the club. Then you're just stuck there being their bitch."

I felt myself loosing it. I wanted to scream about how stupid my father was being. I wanted to say screw the club and start fresh, but I couldn't.

"Oh, fuck, China I'm sorry. If I hadda known I wouldn't have asked." Tom said as he reached his hand across to mine.

I cast him a small smile. "It's fine. I've just got a lot of anger towards my dad. He's never been the greatest."

"What does your mom think about the club? If you both hate being in the club, can't you just ask to leave and start fresh somewhere?" He asked.

I shook my head. "What about her? She's just an old lady. She'd never leave dad even if her life were in danger. 'Sides, I gotta take care of my little cousin."

"Your little cousin lives with you?" He asked.

"No, but I wish she did. Her dad's a fucking drunk who likes to beat people up. Mom talked to the social worker and we're hoping we can get custody soon. She deserves so much better."

I then pulled out my phone and showed him a picture of Sena.

"She's an angel." He smiled.

"Yes, she is."


	9. Maybe He Crashed At the Club?

**Well I'm back with another chapter! Nothing really exciting happens here, i just wrote it as a filler. Hope you guys are enjoying it! :) As always, I love reviews ^_^ **

Just then we heard the sound of the toilet flushing. Nathan's form lumbered towards us. It was obvious he hadn't been up long. His hair was disheveled and his eyes were still slightly droopy. I smiled at how cute he looked.

"Morning sleepy head." I chuckled. He smiled and kissed me good morning before stealing a piece of bacon from my plate.

Playfully I slapped his arm. "Get your own damn breakfast!"

He just laughed and kissed my cheek before making him self a plate and scarfing it down.

* * *

I smiled at the cute goodbye texts I had received from the boys. I guess Tom had given my number out when I gave him my phone.

"They really like you, ya know." Nathan said as he started up the car.

"I hope so. I really enjoyed hanging out last night. Thank you."

He grabbed my hand and kissed it as we made our way to my home.

"We're heading to the studio to do some recording then do some interviews." He said as I got out of the car.

"Okay, well tell the boys I said 'hay' and to behave—that goes for you too Nathan." I said in a fake stern voice.

He just laughed. "Yes mum."

Nath then started the car up. "I'll call you tonight."

"Okay."

Gently he grasped my hand. "I love you."

"I love you." I whispered back.

I then walked through the front door of my house. I could already hear the lecture mom probably had ready for me.

"Mom? I'm home." I called out.

Suddenly Sena's small form jumped out from around the corner and hugged me.

"Hay, kid. What're you doing here?" I asked.

"Aunt Carol said I could stay last night, and tonight!" She said jumping around.

I smiled at her then shifted my gaze to mom who was grabbing her car keys.

"I see you did make it home before I left." She said, not sounding surprised.

"Uh, yeah I did. Why wouldn't I?"

"Did you have fun up at Audrey's?" she asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, we just chilled and watched some movies."

She seemed satisfied with my answer. "I heard from the social worker today. For now Sena can stay with us until we go to court."

"When's court?" I asked.

"Few weeks from now. Nothing to worry about. Sena'll be taken care of."

I hugged the small child to me. Mom hugged both of us before leaving for work. "Be good! No going out tonight okay?"

"Alright mom, now go before you're late…again." I chuckled as she waved from the car and started off down the road.

Once mom was gone I turned on some cartoons for Sena, told Gran that I had made it home, and went to get a much-needed shower.

* * *

I changed into my capris and "I heart the Beatles" t-shirt and brushed my hair. I felt weird looking at myself in the mirror. It didn't feel like I was looking at myself. I had told Nathan I loved him. Did I really? When I tried picking out "love" from my erratic emotions it just gave me butterflies in my stomach. Yes I was physically attracted to him, but could I see myself in a year or ten years being with him still? Err; all this over thinking was giving me a headache.

I pushed those thoughts away as I went to Gran's room and told her I was going to my friend's house and taking Sena with me. She was sleeping so I left her a note. She'd find it eventually.

"Come on Sena we're gonna visit Audrey for a bit." I told the young girl. She quickly put her shoes on and hurried out the front door with me in close pursuit.

Audrey was already sitting out on her front porch when Sena and I arrived. "Well, it's about damn time."

I laughed as I sat down on the brick barrier on the porch. "Yeah I just got back. Thanks for covering for me."

"No problem. You have fun at Nathan's?" she asked, poking fun at me. I blushed and flipped her off. We both began laughing.

Audrey's brother, Charlie walked outside and heard our conversation. "Why was Audrey covering for you, Tokyo?"

"If you must know she was with her boyfriend last night and didn't want to get in trouble with her mom." Audrey intercepted.

Just then my phone began buzzing. I pulled it out to read my text. Of course it was from Nath.

**Heading in 2 do our recording hope u have a great day I love u babe :)**

I smiled as I typed in my response.

**Aw I will love u 2 behave ;)**

"You texting your boyfriend?" Charlie asked as he leaned over and read the text I had just sent.

I blushed madly. Before I could answer him, he snatched my phone.

"Hay!" I yelled as I chased after him. We ran into the house, heading upstairs.

"Charlie you give me my phone back right fuckin now!" I yelled. Leigh, Charlie's mother heard us.

"What in the Sam hell is going on?" she asked, looking at him and me.

"Mom did you know China's got a boyfriend?" Charlie said, sounding smug. Leigh "awed" and I rolled my eyes.

"What's his name? Is he cute? Are you being safe?" she asked rapidly.

"His name's Nathan. He's 19 and yes he's cute. No we haven't done anything yet, so you don't have to worry."

She seemed to breathe a sigh of relief.

"What does he do for a living?" She asked.

Nervously, I bit my lip. "Erm, he's a musician… and in a band."

"Oh, cool. What's his band's name?"

Charlie then proceeded to make a smart comment. Leigh reprimanded him, and I stuck my middle finger up at him.

"Lick it, suck it, fuck it, and rotate it repeatedly!" I jeered.

My phone then went off, playing "Glad You Came". Charlie tossed me my phone and I looked at the picture Jay had sent me.

**Jaythan says HAY!**

I laughed at the picture of Jay holding Nath bridal style.

**Too funny! **I replied. **Shouldn't u guys b working? ;) **

"Here, I'm gonna let you see one of their music videos." I said as I typed in "The Wanted Glad You Came official video" in the Youtube search bar.

As the video loaded, Audrey and her mom gathered to watch. I explained who each guy was and showed them what Nathan looked like.

"Oh, I like Tom, he's a pretty boy!" Leigh said as she stubbed out her cigarette.

"Dayyyum! I like that curly headed guy. The things I'd do to him…"

I laughed at Audrey and her mom swooning over the boys.

"I'm not into boy bands but these guys make being in one fucking sexy." Audrey said, ogling at the screen.

"That's right sista!" her mom exclaimed.

* * *

I took Sena home after eating dinner with Audrey's family. "Go take a shower. I'll be down in a few minutes to put you to bed."

I watched her go downstairs and went to Gran's room. "Gran I'm home!"

The sweet natured old woman looked up from her book and smiled at me. "Hey sweetie. Did you have fun with that nice looking young man yesterday?"

I blushed and sat on her bed. "Yeah I did. He introduced me to some of his friends and we watched some movies."

"Well that's good. Are his friends nice?"

"Yeah they are. They're funny too." I chuckled at the memories of the night before.

She chuckled at my daydreaming face and laid her book down.

"Well, I've got Sena in the shower. D'ya want something to eat? I can make you a sandwich or something if you want."

"Yes, I'd like a grilled cheese if ya don't mind."

I nodded. "Ok, I'll bring it to you in a little bit."

While I was making Gran's grilled cheese, the front door opened and shut.

"Hay, baby." Mom said as she sat her car keys on the table.

"Hay mom. I'm making grilled cheese for Gran, ya want anything?"

"No I'm fine. Is Sena downstairs?" She asked. I nodded.

"You haven't seen your father, have you?"

"No why?"

"He didn't come home last night."

"Probably doing something with the club and crashed at the clubhouse." I offered.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." She said as I placed the grilled cheese sandwich on a plate and carried a glass of water to Gran's room.

"Gran, I made your grilled cheese."


	10. I'm Falling Apart, I'm Barely Breathing

**Okay, well here's another chapter! :) Hope you guys enjoy reading it **

**BTW: I based the Phantoms heavily on the SOA crew from Sons of Anarchy. I just based them in Virginia instead of California. No hate pretty pleaseee lol ^_^**

_The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight_  
_Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time_  
_I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts_  
_I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out_

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing_  
_With a broken heart that's still beating_  
_In the pain there is healing_  
_In your name I find meaning _  
_So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on_  
_I'm barely holdin' on to you_

_The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head_  
_I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead_  
_And I still see your reflection inside of my eyes_  
_That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life_

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing_  
_With a broken heart that's still beating_  
_In the pain is the healing_  
_In your name I find meaning_  
_So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')_  
_I'm barely holdin' on to you_

_I'm hangin' on another day_  
_Just to see what you will throw my way_  
_And I'm hangin' on to the words you say_  
_You said that I will, will be ok_

_The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone_  
_I may have lost my way now, having forgot my way home_

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing_  
_With a broken heart that's still beating_  
_In the pain, there is healing_  
_In your name, I find meaning_  
_So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')_  
_I'm barely holdin' on to you_  
_I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm barely holdin' on to you._

I woke up the next morning, smiling. Nathan and I had talked on the phone late into the night, and now I was feeling the affects. It was already eleven A.M. Damn that boy and his cute charm for making me loose beauty sleep! Once I pulled myself out of bed, I threw on some clothes and brushed my tangled mess of hair.

"Morning." Mom announced as I wandered into the kitchen.

"Morning."

She then set a plate of food in front of Sena and me. "I talked to the s-o-c-ia-l w-o-r-k-e-r this morning. Court's a two weeks from today." She spelled out social worker so as not to alarm Sena.

I nodded as I munched on my breakfast. Hopefully we'd get custody of the small abused girl…

* * *

After we'd eaten, I began washing dishes. Sena was cleaning her room, and mom was taking a shower before she had to leave for work.

A knock on the door pulled me from my chore. I knew my face lit up when I saw whom our visitor was.

"Jax!" I yelled out. The blonde haired, thirty-two year old guy smiled and hugged me tight.

"Hay Angel Eyes. How's my favorite god-sister?" He asked.

"I'm good. D'ya wanna come in?"

I politely let my god-brother in and we both sat on the couch. My smallest dog Lilly-Ann curled up at my feet.

"So what's up? How's Tara and the boys?" I asked.

"Oh, they're good. Tara just got promoted and Abel's learning Spanish from the nanny."

We talked for a good while about his family and what I planned to do with the rest of my summer. However, I kept getting this nagging feeling. You know that feeling you get when something's definitely not right? That's exactly what I felt.

"Jax, I know you didn't come here just to talk about your family. If you want to talk to my dad, you should probably check the clubhouse. I figure he crashed there last night."

Jax sighed, and lit up. He took a few puffs before speaking. "Angel…" The way he said that name, the name he'd given me when I was five years old following him everywhere, made me cringe. Did something bad happen?

"Spill Jax. Whatever's going on, I can handle it." I told him, sounding more confident than I felt.

He looked away, but fixed his gaze on me. "Angel, I don't really know how to say this…" He paused. "Your dad's dead, Angel."

* * *

Those words felt like daggers, bullets, needles in my skin. Soon, I found it hard to catch my breath. "What?" I thought I'd gone deaf. I couldn't hear myself speak. Or was that just a thought in my head? "How? What happened?"

"We were doing a run from Georgia. When we got to the North Carolina border, the cartel was waiting for us. So were the Mayans."

"I thought you had a truce with them? And what the hell was the cartel doing involved… Oh My God!" I placed a hand over my mouth. "You're running drugs for them now?" I nearly screamed.

"It wasn't my idea. It was Clay's. A get rich quick scheme."

"Jax there's no such thing as a get rich quick scheme. Now you're telling me that because Clay's a greedy bastard and no one would stand up to him, my father's dead? What's going to happen to us now? We were barely making it when dad was in the stupid club! Now you're gonna just kick us out like trash, huh?" My voice was growing hoarse from so much screaming. I sounded like a wounded animal.

"The club thinks it best if you move in to the compound, or at least with one of the other Phantoms."

I was silent. Yes I was mad that my father did nothing but drink and ride his Harley, but he was still my dad. He shouldn't have died.

"Look, I don't know if your father told you this, but he was the one who took out the majority of the Mayan's crew. Alverez had it out for him after that even more than the rest of our crew. Everyone's relocating, at least for a little while till we can take care of this. I promised you and your dad I'd take care of you, Angel Eyes and I mean that."

Mom came out of the bathroom and looked from Jax's sympathetic face, to my angry and hurt one.

"I need some air." I muttered as I walked outside to the front porch. I'd let Jax explain to mom why her husband was dead…

Once I could no longer here mom's hysterical yelling or crying I decided to walk back inside. No tears had escaped my eyes yet. I just felt this much more alone and empty.

Mom embraced me in a hug and stroked my hair. I hugged her back, silently thanking God I hadn't lost both my parents.

"China," mom said, wiping her eyes. "Go pack your things. Help Sena pack too."

I looked at the ground. I didn't want to be stuck staying at the compound or with any of the other Phantoms.

"No." I told Jax and mom. "I'm not going. You and Sena can go. I'm gonna stay with a friend."

Mom looked at me like I was crazy. "No, China we're gonna stay with the club. They'll keep us safe."

I broke away from her grasp and walked towards my room. Mom was babbling away, telling me that I had to go with her.

Sena came upstairs, looking confused.

"Yeah mom, cuz the club's been so good at protecting us! Why don't you tell Sena the reason why her uncle's been shot up like Swiss cheese and why her damn father beats the hell out of her and her mom!" I yelled, making mom hesitate in following me.

Jax remained silent, but looked at me. He wanted to keep my family and me safe, and was pleading with me to go with mom and Sena. I looked away, feeling like I'd lose it, and went downstairs to my sanctuary, my bedroom.


	11. A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

__**Well here's another chapter :) Hope you enjoy! Oh and the song from my last chapter was Broken by Lifehouse. I really encourage you to check it out :D This one's called Leave Out All The Rest by Linkin Park**

_I dreamed I was missing._

_You were so scared._

_But no one would listen, 'cause no one else cared._

_After my dreaming, I woke with this fear._

_What am I leaving when I'm done here?_

_So if you're asking me I want you to know_

_When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done_

_Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed._

_And don't resent me when you're feeling empty keep me in your memory._

_ Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest_

_Don't be afraid. I've taken my beating_

_I've shed but I'm me._

_I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through_

_I've never been perfect but neither have you._

_So if you're asking me I want you to know_

_When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done_

_Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed._

_Don't resent me. And when you're feeling empty keep me in your memory_

_Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest_

_Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well_

_Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself!_

_I can't be who you are_

_When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done_

_Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed._

_Don't resent me. And when you're feeling empty keep me in your memory_

_Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest_

_Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well_

_Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself!_

_I can't be who you are_

_I can't be who you are_

I pulled out my duffle bag and my "Guinness" shoulder bag, filling them with all my essentials. I packed as many clothes as I felt I'd need, a few books and movies, my personal hygiene items, a few pictures, and my phone.

I came back upstairs, seeing Jax help mom with her packing. I felt a twinge of guilt at just leaving her and Sena, but it wouldn't be a permanent separation. I would just be staying at a different house than them.

"Sena, I've gotta go, okay?" I stooped down to give my little cousin a warm hug. A few tears escaped her eyes.

"Take care of Aunt Carol okay? I'll see you in a few days." She nodded and hugged me tight.

"I'm gone mom." I mumbled as I walked out the door. Once I knew where I was staying, I'd let her know I was okay.

I placed my bags in the back seat of my truck, and started it up. Where the hell was I going? I put the vehicle in drive and pulled out on the highway. Before I knew it, I was pulling into the local McDonalds. Guess it wouldn't hurt to have an ice cream while I figured things out.

As I ate my ice cream, I remembered how my dad used to bring me here every Friday night after he "got off work" and we'd get a little treat if I'd done well in school that week.

This thought brought a few tears to my eyes. So many things had changed. We stopped coming here when I was nine. That was when dad had started drinking again. That was when he'd gotten more involved with the club.

Before I could fully break down, my phone vibrated. Nathan was calling me. I held my breath to regain my composure before I answered.

"Hello?"

"Hay Babe."

"Hay Nath." I said. My voice lost its false cheery tone.

"Babe are you okay? You sound upset." He asked, seeming concerned.

"Yeah, it's… it's just been a bad day." I told him. My voice cracked at the end.

"D'ya wanna talk about it? You know I'll listen."

I bit my lip. It didn't feel right telling him over the phone that my dad was dead.

"I know you would, but I'd rather tell you in person."

"Well, when can I see you?"

"Erm, I hate to ask you this Nath, but would you mind if I came and stayed a few days with you? I miss you and things are just really bad at home."

"Of course love. I miss you too. When d'ya think you'll be ready? I'll come pick you up."

"I'll meet you at the hotel. It shouldn't take long for me to get there."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, driving for a bit will clear my head."

"Okay. Be safe though."

"I will."

"I love you."

"I love you." I mumbled just loud enough for him to hear.

After we hung up, I threw my ice cream cone and napkin in the trash and walked to my truck. A forty-five minute drive would do me some good.

I bounced on the balls of my feet, contemplating whether or not I was going to knock on the door. I'd been standing outside Nathan's hotel room for over fifteen minutes. I wanted to go in and be comforted by him, but on the other hand, going in there meant that I'd have to tell him about what happened at home. I didn't want to be a bother to him or the other boys…

Holding my breath, I knocked on the door. It didn't take long for Nath to answer. He looked at me, and drew me into a massive hug. Even though Nath was the shortest in the band, standing at 5'9, I was a dwarf compared to him. I was only 5'1, so even a small hug from him felt massive.

I don't know why, but standing there hugging Nath caused me to tear up. He noticed and helped me gather my bags.

"We can put your things in here." Nathan said as we walked to his room. I followed him in silence, fearing my voice would fail me.

Once we placed my bags in his room, he stared at me before collapsing on the bed. As he did so he grasped my hand and pulled me to him.

"Babe, talk to me. You're never this quiet. It's kinda freaking me out."

I met his eyes. I couldn't hold it in any longer. Sobs began racking my body.

"Nath, he-he's d-dead." I blubbered out. When I saw the confusion on his face I clarified.

"My dad. My dad's dead!" this brought on a whole new wave of sorrow. It felt like it was all hitting me right then and there.

Nathan held me close, even though I know I soiled his shirt and whispered comforting words to me. This was one reason why I was attracted to him. He wasn't just a pretty face. He genuinely cared.

Once the tears stopped flowing, I regained enough composure to tell him what happened to my father. It hurt like hell to tell him, but it felt good to let someone in on how much my father meant to me. He even listened attentively as I told him a memory or two I had with my dad.

* * *

"Shit! It's after midnight." I muttered, surprised. Nathan just lay there smiling at me.

"Gotta hot date?" he asked cheekily.

I smiled half-heartedly as I sent my mom a text.

**Hay mom im fine. Staying at friends. Give Sena a kiss 4 me love u**

I placed my phone back in my bag, ignoring the missed calls I had from her. I'd be at the funeral, and possibly move back home. Right now I needed some space. I couldn't have gone to Autumn's since she was on vacation with her parents, and Audrey had enough shit to deal with, besides an emotional wreck of a friend.

I kissed Nath's nose. "No, but you could change that." I winked.

His grip on my waist tightened as he kissed me and chuckled.

"Well, what do ya want to do?"

"How bout we just watch some movies? I don't really feel like doing much else." I said, relaxing a bit.

He graciously put in Cinderella and we snuggled together on his bed. I had to laugh at his horrible imitations of the mice's voices when they sang and the comments he made about the stepsisters.

As the movie played on, my eyes grew weary. The last thing I remember was the mice Jack-Jack and Gus-Gus, scheming to get the key to Cinderella's room from her evil step mother before I allowed my eyes to shut and my mind drifted into a dreamless sleep.


	12. Bubly

When I awoke the next morning, I was still lying in bed with Nathan. His arms were still around me and even our feet were intertwined. His face seemed hidden in my hair. I attempted to get up and get a shower while he slept, but that was an epic fail.

"Morning." Nath mumbled sleepily.

"Morning."

He leaned in and gave me a proper kiss before propping himself up into a sitting position.

"What time is it?" he asked, then yawned. Reluctantly, I crawled out of bed.

"About eight thirty. Why?"

"Got a radio interview at eleven thirty. You gonna come with me?" he asked as I gathered the things I'd need for a shower.

"If it's alright with Jayne. First, I want to take a shower though." I said as I grabbed my fitted blue/gray wolf shirt and a pair of jeans.

Nath casually fell back on the bed and wrapped up in the blanket. I chuckled and threw my hat at him.

"I'd better not find you asleep when I come back." I told him, trying to be serious.

"I don't want to get up!" he groaned. I sat down on the bed and uncovered him.

"Have I told you how sexy your voice is when you first wake up?" I teased.

This time he smirked. "No, but have I told you how adorable you look first thing in the morning?"

I rolled my eyes and kissed him before heading to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

After I'd finished my shower and straightened my hair I went to grab a donut from the kitchen. Jay was in there fixing himself a bowl of cereal.

"Morning." I told him, going for the bag of "Sweet Sixteen" chocolate donuts.

He looked at me slightly confused.

"Morning."

"Enjoy going clubbing last night?" I asked, teasing.

He chuckled, taking a bite of his breakfast. "Yeah, what I can remember. It's all a bit fuzzy though."

I grabbed a soda from the fridge and took another donut.

"Forgive me, but I don't remember seeing you before going out. Did you stay the night with Nath?" he asked.

I froze in my movements. It was too damn early to even think about telling him what was going on at home.

"Yeah. Things were just getting out of control at home. Nath's letting me crash here a few days till things cool down, but I can leave if it's a problem. I don't want to interfere with any band stuff going on."

"No, no, no. It's not a problem. You're one the first girls Nath's seen on a steady basis since we started the band. It's good to see him really happy, and 'sides, I think we all agree you two would make beautiful kids." He said cheekily.

I blushed and laughed at his comment. Tom then walked in, seeming extremely hangover.

Before he could ask for any, I offered him some ibuprofen and a bottle of water to wash it down.

"You're a lifesaver, Tokyo." He said, tiredly. I smirked and looked away.

"I always keep it handy for when I get a headache or when a friend is in dire need of it, like you were."

"You spend the night here?" he asked. I nodded.

"We didn't do anything though. I just needed a place to crash for a few days, a week at the most. Things aren't so good at home." I finished with a hint of sadness.

Jay and Tom both looked at me.

"I don't have a problem with you staying. Anyone who can eat a whole bowl of popcorn and watch three Saw movies at the same time is okay by me." Tom said, smiling.

"I gotta say I like her attitude. She's so laid back; she could give Seev a run for his money." Jay told Tom. I just sat there finishing my donut.

When I went back to Nath's room, he was still in the bed.

"Nath, it's time to get up." I said quietly. Silence answered me back.

"Nathan." I said a little louder as I crouched next to him on the bed. Again, silence.

I sighed. I didn't want to have to do this, but he needed to get up. It was going on nine thirty. We were leaving at ten fifteen.

Quickly, I pulled the blanket off his sleeping form. "Nath! Get up." I said as I turned the light on.

He cursed and sat up.

"Nath it's almost ten o' clock. You're not even dressed." I said as I threw the blanket back on the bed.

"Shit!" He exclaimed.

Instantly, he seemed alert. He grabbed a pair of skinny jeans and his Misfits t-shirt before disappearing in the bathroom for a solid twenty minutes.

* * *

Hand in hand we walked downstairs. People eyed us in the hallways, but Nath just smiled. "Let them be. They've got nothing better to do than hate on people better than them."

We made it down to the lobby at exactly ten. Martin, Kevin, and Jayne were already sitting down, enjoying a morning cup of coffee.

"Ah, Nathan. You're actually early!" Martin exclaimed. "This wee lass must've gotten ya up yea?"

Nathan smiled and hugged me close. "Martin, Kev, this is China-my girlfriend. She's staying with me for a while."

I shook hands with each man before turning to Jayne. She smiled and snatched me from underneath Nath's arm and hugged me.

"It's good to see you again deary. You don't mind coming along to the interview do you? Afterwards we're going to Emerald Pointe for the rest of the day. You're more than welcome to come with us." She said, as if I always stayed with Nathan.

Crap. I didn't think I'd need a bathing suit.

"Erm, I don't have a bathing suit with me." I said, slightly embarrassed.

"Don't worry. I've got a spare you can have." She smiled.

"Okay, thank you."

Just then the rest of the band showed up. No one else asked me any questions as to why I had stayed with Nath, so I assumed Tom and Jay had relayed what I had told them.

When we arrived at the studio, Martin ushered Jayne and me in first. It was complete chaos. There were probably four hundred girls standing around waiting to meet The Wanted in person.

Once the boys dodged all the outstretched hands and arms of devoted fans and entered the building, we were directed to a room that was labeled "On Air". The blonde who'd brought us here signaled to the guy in the booth and within a few seconds the boys all filed in the small box, Nathan walking in last. I took a few steps back towards Jayne as they walked in. I was definitely NOT going to be on the radio, but Nathan had other plans. Gently he tugged me towards the booth. I glanced at Jayne, hoping she'd say that I wasn't allowed in there. However, she just smiled at me.

"Go on, dear. It's not everyday you get the opportunity to set in on a radio interview."

Reluctantly, I walked in, setting on the sill of one of the windows. Each boy had his own mic and chair. The DJ seemed so interested in them that he didn't take much notice to me. I breathed a small sigh of relief. At least I wouldn't have to talk during the interview; I hope.

* * *

"Well, ladies and gents, I have a very special surprise today. Please welcome The Wanted, all the way from the UK!" the DJ announced to the audience.

As the boys cheered, Nath gave me a crooked smile and winked at me. I winked back and blew a kiss to him. It was the small, cute things he did that made me fall for him a little more each day.

"So you've been here in the States how long?"

"Uh, a little over a month." Max said into his microphone.

"Doesn't feel like it though." Siva commented.

I sat there on the sill smiling at the boys go through the interview so smoothly. They've probably done over a thousand interviews, asking the same questions, but it didn't look like they ever got tired of them.

**Well, there ya go :) Personally, I'm not too thrilled with this chapter since it's basically a filler... But I'll let you guys be the judge!**

**And if you'd like, you can follow me on Twitter! I basically set it up to keep track of the boys, and i also follow back :) Hehee What can i say? I'm a fangirl ;)**

**Anyways, Hope you enjoyed! :D**


	13. Let's Bring Her on the Air!

"Okay, so this question's from terry_TW. 'What's been the best thing about your stay here in the States?'"

The DJ then told them to each give something they felt was the best thing about their stay in America.

"Well, I didn't get to go there this time, but uh, my favorite thing last time we were here was Golden Gate Bridge." Max smiled, seeming to relieve the memory.

"I love the nightlife here on the East coast. I never knew that the women here could drink so much. It's amazing!" Jay laughed.

"So West coast girls can't drink?" DJ asked.

"No, it's just that over in California and what not girls order…girls drinks—margaritas, long island iced teas, and cocktails. Whereas here in North Carolina, girls order beers, whiskey, and vodka. If a girl walked in to one the bars I was at, and ordered a cocktail, I could see the other women beating the crap outta her."

The DJ obviously got a kick out of Jay's observations on different drinkers in America. Max and Tom were jeering and trying to prove his statement wrong. Leave it to Jay to start a debate on which drinkers were better; West coast or East coast.

"No, I think you're right Jay. I went out to L.A about ten years ago with a girl and that's all she'd order—a cocktail or an iced tea. If my wife were here, and she's from Virginia, she'd tell ya exactly what she orders at the bar."

"What's she order?" Tom asked.

"Whiskey and coke, but she drinks the coke first. Says it makes the whiskey taste better."

Even I had to laugh. It was a true statement though. That's how I took my drink when I went to parties.

"Women here have stomach's of steel." Max commented.

"So anyways, back to our original question. Siva, what are you loving about America?"

"I like the accents. They're so diverse."

"What's your favorite accent?" He asked.

"I gotta say Midwestern. It's sorta a mixture of a Northern accent and a Southern one, yet it sounds so different than the others."

Tom stated he loved going up on the Blue Ridge Parkway. I had to admit, this time of year it was beautiful up there.

As Nath went to tell what he loved best about America, all the boys started grinning like Cheshire cats. The DJ took notice.

"Nath, before you say your piece, I gotta ask what all the creepy grins from your friends are for?"

"I have no idea. They're completely mental." Nath said, acting as if he were freaked out.

Everyone had a good laugh with that.

"I, uh, gotta say I love the people." Nath continued.

"Alright so that's all the time we have for questions, but let's do a few quick fire ones from our staff."

The DJ then proceeded to ask the boys what their favorite color, food, and movie was before asking what they missed most about home.

"And here's the last one. For the record, who is and who isn't single? So raise your hand if you are single and keep it down if you're in a relationship."

Jay, Max and Tom raised their hands. I saw a twinge of sadness on Max and Tom's faces as they explained that they'd broken up with their girlfriends.

Once the single boys were interviewed, the DJ zeroed in on Seev and asked about his girl, Nareesha. After he'd finished talking, it was Nath's turn. Oh God, help me. He was going to make our relationship public.

"So Nath you're in a relationship?"

"Yes, I am."

"And who's the lucky girl?"

Nath stole a quick glance at me before answering.

"She's actually here now."

He pointed to me, and I did a half shy wave to the interviewer who grinned wildly.

"Well, let's bring her on the air!" He exclaimed.

All the boys cheered and Siva, who'd been sitting next to Nath, offered his seat to me.

Once I was settled, Nath grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers.

"Alright so let's start with your name sweetheart."

"Hi, I'm China." I stated, trying to be cheery and loveable.

"China? Wow that's an unusual name. How'd you get it?"

"It was my grandfather's nickname." I explained, feeling Nath's thumb smoothly glide over portions of my hand.

"Now, how old are you?"

"I'm seventeen. I'll be eighteen next year."

I chuckled at the DJ's reaction.

"You sure don't look it!" He said, still in partial shock.

"Yeah I get that a lot." I told him.

"Okay, so I gotta ask how tall are you? Siva's standing behind you right now, and compared to you, he looks like freaking Goliath."

I laughed at his comparison of Siva to Goliath. "I'm 5'1."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Instead of opposites attracting, it's short people attracting." Max joked.

"Alright, well for our cameras, since people won't be able to see this till it goes up on Youtube, can we have Siva and China stand side by side?" The DJ asked.

Nathan helped me around the chairs and soon Siva and me were standing beside each other in front of a video camera.

I was so busy trying not to look like a complete fool in front of the camera, I didn't notice what Seev was doing till he had grabbed me up bridal style. I let out a small yelp before I realized I wasn't going to fall.

"See? She's so small I can carry her on my hip like a child." He said to the camera. On cue he shifted me to his left hip and I placed on leg on either side of him. I heard Max call out my name, so I turned my head and rested it on Siva's shoulder.

"What's up, Max?" I asked.

"How's the weather up there?"

I burst out laughing. "It's great! A little cool, but I have a much better view."

Once the interview finished, I kissed Nath before leaving with Jayne to go to where the van would be waiting.

"See ya in a bit." He whispered.

* * *

Jayne and I patiently waited at the back of the building for our van and those troublesome boys.

Suddenly, a young brunette who was in line to meet the band asked me if I'd take her picture. I smiled and told her of course.

"Thank you! Hay aren't you the girl Nathan's with now?" She asked. "The girl he said was his girlfriend?"

I nodded. "Yeah that's me."

I was slightly nervous this girl would pounce on me or try and kill me on the spot. I'd heard rumors that if there were any hints that Nath was dating someone, some members of the TW fanmily would go berserk and attack the poor girl. I hoped I was lucky enough to be talking to a sane fanmily member.

"Well, I'm glad he's with someone cuz he deserves to be happy." She smiled.

"Thank you. That means a lot." I said genuinely.

She then leaned in to talk quietly to me. "Just an FYI. Watch your back. A lot of these crazy bitches are ready to kill you since took their dream of being with him away."

"Well, I'm glad I met you first, and thank you for supporting us." I told her.

I then got her twitter name and promised to get the boys to follow her.

As we continued talking, a girl with dark purple hair and a snakebite piercing on her lower lip walked up to Alexis (the girl I'd just taken a picture of).

"Hay, you're China, aren't you?" she asked. I nodded.

"If I were you, I'd watch that mouth bitch. No one can take Nathy away from me." She threatened. My face paled and I took a step back.

"If you really were a fan, you'd be happy for him no matter who he was dating." I told her quietly.

She scoffed and placed a hand on her hip. "So you're telling me that if he were dating any one of these losers and not you, you'd be happy for him?"

"No, in all honesty, I'd be quite sad, but I'd be thankful he'd found someone to love and I'd hope she appreciates him for who he is." I told her.

She narrowed her eyes into tiny daggers, sizing me up.

"Come on Alexis." She spat as she grabbed the brunette's arm.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled as she walked towards the front of the line with her purple haired friend.

A hand on my shoulder caused me to turn around. Jayne cast me a warm smile.

"That was nicely handled, China. I'm proud of you." She commended.

I nodded, feeling slightly jumpy from what the purple haired girl had implied.

"I didn't know people felt so strongly about him." I muttered.

"Each member has some crazy fans. There was one girl in Liverpool who actually cut a lock of Jay's hair off and swallowed it."

I chuckled as I pictured what Jay's face looked like as he watched the girl swallow his own hair.


	14. The Edge

_Got up on the wrong side of life today, yeah_

_Crashed the car and I'm gonna be really late_

_My phone doesn't work 'cause it's out of range_

_Looks like it's just one of those kind of days_

_You can't kick me down I'm already on the ground_

_No, you can't 'cause you couldn't catch me anyhow_

_Blue skies but the sun isn't coming out, no_

_Today it's like I'm under a heavy cloud_

_And I feel so alive_

_I can't help myself, don't you realize_

_I just wanna scream and lose control_

_Throw my hands up and let it go_

_Forget about everything and runaway, yeah_

_I just want to fall and lose myself_

_Laughing so hard it hurts like hell_

_Forget about everything and runaway, yeah_

_So so's how I'm doing if you're wondering_

_I'm in a fight with the world but I'm winning_

_Stay there, come closer it's at your own risk_

_Yeah, you know how it is life can be a bitch_

_I feel so alive_

_I can't help myself, don't you realize_

_I just wanna scream and lose control_

_Throw my hands up and let it go_

_Forget about everything and runaway, yeah_

_I just want to fall and lose myself_

_Laughing so hard it hurts like hell_

_Forget about everything and runaway, yeah_

_Runaway, runaway_

_Runaway, runaway_

_Runaway, runaway_

_Runaway, runaway_

_I just wanna scream and lose control_

_Throw my hands up and let it go_

_Forget about everything and runaway, yeah_

_I just want to fall and lose myself_

_Laughing so hard it hurts like hell_

_Forget about everything and runaway, yeah_

_I just wanna scream and lose control_

_Throw my hands up and let it go_

_Forget about everything and runaway, yeah_

_I just want to fall and lose myself_

_Laughing so hard it hurts like hell_

_Forget about everything and runaway, yeah_

As we continued to wait for the boys, my phone began ringing. I checked the caller id and saw it was mom. This was the ninth time she'd called me. I guess I'd avoided her calls long enough. With a sigh, I answered.

"China where are you? I've been calling you."

"Nice to hear from you too, mom. I told you I was staying with a friend right now."

"Look, China just tell me where you are so I can come pick you up. You need to talk to the funeral director and plan out the funeral." Mom said, sounding quite tired.

"Why? Why can't you talk to them?"

"I've got to meet with the social worker for Sena. We're getting our court case together." She explained.

"Mom, I don't think they'll let me since I'm underage."

"Oh, don't worry I'm sure they'll let you. Anyways, I've got to get back to the lawyers' office. I'm sure you'll do Wayne justice." She said as she began to hang up.

"Mom, just hold on!" I yelled into the phone. "I shouldn't have to plan the whole damn funeral just because you're too lazy to go down there and do it! Oh, wait a minute, you're probably screwing around with someone already aren't you?"

Mom stayed silent for a few moments. I hadn't actually meant what I'd just said but I was angry. Why'd she expect me to just waltz down to the funeral home and plan everything like he was MY husband?

"Watch your mouth! I want you home today." She threatened.

I rolled my eyes. "No, I'm not coming home. I like where I am because I have one thing going for me that you never will."

"And what's that?"

"I got out. I'm not the club's bitch anymore. I won't just be an 'Old Lady'. I'll actually make something of my life." I told her.

"I'll see you at the funeral, mom." I said after a quiet moment, then hung up.

As I turned back towards Jayne, I feared I'd have to explain what was going on with my family. Just as I thought, Jayne looked at me wanting to know what was going on, along with the boys. I hadn't planned on telling her and the rest of the band about my father, but now I guess I had no other choice. Curse me and my damn luck.

I didn't focus on one face too long as I retold the story of my father's death. I saw sympathy, empathy, compassion, and pity on each member's face. As I wrapped up my tale, Nath came and embraced me in a hug. I smiled, knowing he'd have my back.

Max went to say something, but I cut him off.

"I don't want any pity from you guys. Shit, I feel bad enough for burdening you with this, I'm not going to ruin the rest of your day."

"We're not pitying you, China, and our day's not ruined cuz you told us about your dad." Max assured me.

"We just want to say how sorry we are and if you ever need us for anything, don't hesitate to ask. You're family now." Tom finished.

I nodded, accepting their comforting words and smiled as they each came up and gave me a hug. They truly were descent guys.

"Alright, who's ready to go to Emerald Pointe?" I asked, smiling.

Each boy's face lit up and it was nearly an Olympic race to get back to the van. If this was how they were going to act just going from the radio station to the hotel to get ready, then how hyper would they be once we got there?

* * *

"No. There's no way in hell you're getting me on that." I said quickly. Nathan just chuckled, as did the other boys. I didn't see why they found this amusing. "The Edge" was a very scary looking ride, and I certainly had no intention of going on it.

"Come on! It'll be fun!" Tom exclaimed. I still refused to get in line.

"It's not that scary, Tokyo."

"Yeah, just ride it once with us." Siva and Jay pleaded.

I rolled my eyes. "Seriously, no. You're bat shit crazy if you think you can get me to ride it."

"Pleeease…? We'll stop hounding ya!" Max said, sounding similar to a certain little girl I knew.

I shielded my eyes from the sun as I looked up at the ride. Basically you got in a raft and made a two story drop straight down the U shaped slide and then soared back up the other side. You continued sliding until the raft lost its momentum and stopped. I looked back at each of the guys, and bit my lip. In all honesty I was curious as to how good the ride was, but I always chickened myself out of getting on.

I hung my head and looked at the camera Jayne was pointing it at us. "Help me." I mouthed. Jayne was laughing, so I guessed she had captured my reaction.

"Why the long face, China?" She asked, still pointing the camera at me. The boys were talking in the background.

"I'm going on this really scary ride." The camera followed my arm and caught the name of the ride, and how long the line was.

"And what's so scary about it?"

"Well, you fall over 'The Edge' in nothing more than a rubber raft, and go up one side and down the other till you lose momentum." I told her.

"IT"S GONNA BE WICKED!" Tom screamed at the camera. We all laughed, and Jayne reprimanded him for yelling so loud.

"How far's the drop?" Jayne asked, moving on to Max.

"I'd say about two stories, straight down." He didn't seem all that freaked by it.

"Nothing you couldn't handle?" Jayne continued.

"Nah, piece o' cake." He chuckled.

I rolled my eyes. "I can't believe I'm doing this!"

Once we got to the top of the long stairwell, we decided to split up into two groups. Nath, Jay, and myself were going to ride on one raft, while the rest of the boys rode on another.

"See ya at the bottom!" Tom yelled in enthusiasm. I felt my heart race even faster as it neared our turn. I could hear the rest of the boys screaming wildly as they teetered back and forth until they came to a complete stop at the bottom. The lifeguard called our raft up.

"Fuck, there's no turning back now." I muttered to myself. Thankfully no one heard me.

The lifeguard held the raft in position as the three of us boarded. Nathan pushed me ahead of him, so that I would be the first person in. Oh, great.

Once we were seated, the lifeguard gave us a few instructions, then pushed us over the edge without any warning. I vigorously gripped the handles as I felt a scream build up in my body.


	15. Weakness

_She aims a smile with the safety off_

_And she's not afraid to use it_

_She holds my gaze just long enough_

_For me to feel like I'm gonna lose it_

_And I know that she knows_

_That I know what she's doing to me_

_And she knows when she calls_

_I'll fall for her every time_

_'Cause I'm wrapped I'm wrapped around_

_Your perfect little finger_

_And I'm trapped inside the cell_

_Of every sound she makes_

_She is my weakness_

_She is my weakness_

_A look from her is like oxygen_

_How would I keep breathing without her_

_She breaks a whole as she looks away_

_Now my heart ain't beating without her_

_And I know that she knows_

_That I know what she's doing to me_

_And she knows when she goes_

_I'll come for her every time_

_'Cause I'm wrapped I'm wrapped around_

_Your perfect little finger_

_And I'm trapped inside the cell_

_Of every sound she makes_

_She is my weakness_

_She is my weakness_

_I know it might sound crazy_

_But I don't wanna let go_

_Now I don't mind spending_

_Every night if you don't let go_

_I know it might sound crazy_

_But I don't wanna let go_

_Now I don't mind spending_

_Every night if you don't let go_

_'Cause I'm wrapped I'm wrapped around_

_Your perfect little finger_

_And I'm trapped inside the cell_

_Of every sound she makes_

_She is my weakness_

_She is my weakness_

"So how was the ride?" Jayne asked as Nath, Jay, and I disembarked from the raft. Of course, she had the camera pointing at us.

Nathan spoke up first. "It was unbelievable! Best ride ever."

"How about you, China? Did you end up liking it?"

"Yes! Oh my gosh! There aren't any words! My hearts' beating so fast, and I'm just ah!" I squealed and did a small jump, showing how much I loved "The Edge".

"So, for me, and the fans watching this, how would you describe 'The Edge'?" Jayne asked me.

I quickly wiped the towel over my soaking wet face. "I don't know, I mean, when the lifeguard pushed the raft, I couldn't breathe. And when you start going up one side, it feels like you're falling and there's nothing to catch you."

Nath then came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, and kissed my cheek.

"And what about you, Jay? What's your thoughts on the ride?"

Jay smiled. "I loved it, but this one," he then pointed to me, "was screaming her head off the whole time."

Jayne chuckled. "Is that so?"

"Yes!" Jay exclaimed.

"I didn't scream!" I shot back playfully.

"No, I stand corrected. You didn't scream, you exclaimed almost every known expletive known to mankind."

At that I had to laugh.

"Oh, have we been naughty, China?" Jayne asked as she clicked her tongue. I did my best to put on an innocent face.

"Yes, she has. She may seem innocent, but she's got a dirtier mouth than Tom!"

"I do not!"

"Yes, she does. Don't listen to her; she lies!" He said to the camera. I rolled my eyes, still full of adrenaline from the ride.

"Like as each raft went down, you could hear the people scream or cry out for something. But when ours went down, I of course yelled, Nath was like "Oh my God!" then China was like "Oh motherfucking shit! I'm gonna die!"

"That's what she said." I remarked.

We all then began laughing hysterically.

"She catches on quick, doesn't she?" Nath asked his friend.

"What's going on here?" asked Max as he and the other two boys joined us under the cabanas.

"I'm deaf now because, all I heard while on the ride was a long stream of expletives coming from Nath's girlfriend." Jay told them.

"Oh so that's who it was? I thought I heard someone screaming 'Oh shit motherfucker', but I thought it was a sailor who was riding." Tom joked. Again, we were rolling with laughter.

All of us took the elevator up to the boys' suite that evening. We were tired but happy, having spent almost all day at Emerald Pointe. As, the boys promised, me telling them that my father had passed away hadn't dampened their spirits.

Once we'd all settled down and changed into our pajamas, we relaxed in the sitting room; looking at the pictures and video footage we'd taken. Needless to say, Jayne would definitely have her hands full with the editing…

I'm not sure when, but sometime while we were deciding which pictures from the fans would be in the Wanted Wednesday video, I drifted off to sleep while listening to Nath's heartbeat. I could still hear the boys' laughter, but it was like a soothing lullaby. Slowly, I sank into the dark recesses of sleep. Not even an earthquake could wake me.

Nathan's POV

* * *

Before I realized what time it was, I saw that China was asleep in my arms. She was holding on to a piece of my shirt and her hair fell just past her shoulders, looking like she was wearing a red-tinted halo.

"Oi! Earth to Nath!" Max called out. Quickly turned to face my band mate.

"Ya didn't hear a word we just said, did ya?" He asked.

I felt my cheeks redden as I met each member's gaze.

"What's it like? Being that much in love?" Jay asked seriously.. He'd only had one real girlfriend and she'd been a dumb skank. The rest of the relationships he'd had were one-night stands and drunken hookups.

I couldn't really think of a way to describe the feeling, so I went with what I felt in my heart.

"It's—it's the best/worst feeling in the world. One minute you feel like you're on top of the world, the next you feel so fucking helpless. You feel helpless because you know she's got the power to drive you insane."

"She really is your weakness. I was like that with Michelle. God, the way she'd look at me…it'd feel like she was holding my heart by a thread." Max commented. I really thought about that song we sang over a hundred times. It was true. China was my weakness. .

"I guess she is. But I've never felt stronger than when I'm with her. This—this look she gives. It's like she's surprised I chose to be with her; like I've made her happier by being in her life." I told them.

"She's a good kid, nothing like Alex was." Tom said. The pain Kelsey was causing him, seemed to be easing some. I'd never tell him, but Kels has been texting me and the rest of the boys, saying how much she missed Tom. She was still extremely upset that he'd chosen to go on tour instead of moving in with her, but she was starting to come around. Another thing none of us would tell our friend until the time was right was the fact that she was two months pregnant with his baby.

Absentmindedly I began stroking China's hair. It was so soft, and the curls at the ends were flat out adorable. Her lashes caused small shadows to appear below her eyes. She really was beautiful.

"Go take your sleeping beauty to bed, you love sick puppy." Max joked.

I flipped him off and rolled my eyes. My eyes were drooping slightly and they kept shutting of their own accord. Maybe it was time for bed. Without much effort, I adjusted China so that she had her head resting on my shoulder so I could stand. Saying goodnight to the boys, I carried my princess to our bed and tucked her in before crawling in myself and drifting off to a peaceful sleep.


	16. You'd Most Likely Starve

China's POV

***A few days later***

The boys, Jayne, and myself all climbed into the van for a five-hour journey to Richmond to do a radio interview. Being Wanted Wednesday, their phones, as well as mine, were blowing up. Yes, thanks to Nathan, I now was on Twitter and had over a thousand followers, and gaining more by the week. It shocked me at how popular I'd become in less than two weeks. I began checking the notifications I had, and responded to many tweets I'd received.

** Savvygirl_TW: OMG I love #WantedWednesday and btw NathantheWanted & SOA_angel_TW look cute together :)**

** SOA_angel_TW: Savvygirl_TW Thank you! That means a lot :)**

** Stephie Sykes: SOA_angel_TW you're so lucky! I wish I could have gone to Emerald Pointe and met the boys but I was sick :(**

** SOA_angel_TW: Stephie Sykes hay no stealing my bf's last name ;) kidding. I'll have them follow you. Feel better soon sweetie! :)**

** Emily_Lovely: SOA_angel_TW why the hell are you with Nath? You're not even his type, guess you're just easy… #youreaslut**

I frowned at the negative feedback Nath and I received once we made our relationship public, but not to worry. For every negative tweet, there were five positive ones, encouraging our relationship. Many of the true fanmily members rallied around us and called out the haters. Before things got out of hand I tweeted something that hopefully would calm the troubled waters.

** SOA_angel_TW: Hay guys NathantheWanted and I thank you 4 the support you've given us! Don't worry about the haters on here cuz #hatersgonnahate WE LOVE YOU TW FANMILY!**

Almost instantaneously, I was retweeted by ten people, not including everyone in the van and I was mentioned in about a hundred responses. It felt weird to be able to have an effect on people like this.

During our ride, we stopped at a local store/McDonalds/gas station to refuel and grab a bite to eat. There was a Wal-Mart across the street and a playground connected to the rest stop.

Once inside, we split up and started looking around. As I wandered the isles, I spotted a brown stuffed monkey. It'd be perfect for Sena. Quickly, I grabbed the plush animal up and carried it to the check out register.

"Hi, is this all for you?" The woman asked.

I smiled and handed over the toy. "Yeah."

As I paid for it, the cashier and I made small talk about whom I'd gotten the monkey for.

"I hope you don't mind me saying this, but you look an awful lot like one of The Wanted's girlfriends." She said as she handed my change to me.

I decided to play dumb. "Really? Which one?"

"I think it's that young one, Nathan's. Her name's China I think. My daughter had me set her up a Twitter to keep up with them and she watches all their videos. She's got a real crush on Nathan and wishes she were as lucky as his girlfriend."

I couldn't keep up the charade anymore. I grinned and stated that I was, indeed, Nathan Sykes's girlfriend. Of course the check out lady was skeptical, but she finally believed me once I showed her my I.D.

"Oh my God! I had no idea!" She said as shock set in. I just smiled.

"Do you mind if she gets a picture with you? She's on the playground right now. Can't really afford a babysitter."

I nodded and followed the woman to where her daughter was.

As we entered the playground area the woman called out for her kid. "Mary! Mary!"

After a quick reply, the young girl came running to her mom. She was wearing a t-shirt that said, "It's a TW Thing" and didn't look much older than eleven.

"Baby, I've got a surprise for you." Her mom said. The girl's eyes went to me, starting to place who I was.

"Mary, this is—."

"China Akers! Oh my Gosh! You're Nathan Sykes's girlfriend!" The prepubescent girl squealed. I smiled and nodded.

Mary's mom then took out her camera and snapped a few photos of her daughter and me. I also took some on my phone and tweeted them, mentioning the young girl in the caption.

** SOA_angel_TW: Showing some love to my girl Mary-Lou_TW! NathantheWanted you may have some competition ;)**

I signed the girl's shirt and offered to let her meet the boys. Before long, all my boys were showing love to Mary and were graciously taking photos with her. Her mom was thrilled that her little girl's wish had finally come true.

Jayne then reminded us that we needed to get back on the road, and took the liberty of ordering our food to go.

"Bless you, Jayne. What'd we do without you?" Jay asked as Jayne handed him his veggie burger.

"You'd most likely starve." She chuckled as she continued handing out the food.

**Welp, there ya go :) Another chapter posted! Yeah this one sucks cuz it's mostly a filler, but as always, I'll let you guys judge that :D **

**BTW here's a shout out to Original Sonja for all the lovely reviews :) **


	17. I Love You, So Much

I sighed as I collapsed on Nathan's bed, still fully clothed. Traveling most of the day, stopping to ride go carts, and setting in on The Wanted's interviews really took it out of me. I took my notebook out and read the few paragraphs I was able to write during the boys' interviews. I never told anyone but I actually was working on my own story; an anime to be precise. Since I was young, my dream was to be a published author. Who knows, maybe I'd get my own series and be as famous as J.K Rowling? Shit, who was I kidding? I'd never be that famous.

Just then Nathan walked into the room and collapsed beside me. His hair was slightly droopy from his recent shower and he wasn't wearing a shirt.

"What's that?" He asked, trying to steal my precious notebook from me.

"Nothing." I said quickly. He didn't believe it for a second and started tickling me until I relinquished my hold on the pages.

"Give—that-to me!" I huffed once my breath returned to me and my giggling stopped. Of course, my demanding got me nowhere fast. Nathan was quietly reading the words I'd written with deliberate concentration. I grew more nervous as he continued. I'd never really shown anyone what I wrote, fearing they'd hate it. I guess Nath would be my first critic…

Nath handed the notebook back to me, smiling. I took that as a sign he didn't hate it.

"Well? What'd you think?" I asked.

"It's really good! I can't believe you wrote that whole thing. It's amazing." I blushed at his words.

"Thanks. I've never shown it to anyone before, except for mom. I'd like to get published one day, but mom said it was horrible." I sighed. Yeah, my mom was always so encouraging. Note the sarcasm.

"You know, Jayne might be able to get you published." Nath said as he rolled from his back to his side, facing me.

"Really?" I asked, seriously shocked. I tucked my notebook away in my bag.

"Yeah, I can talk to her tomorrow and see if she can make a few calls and get in touch with a publisher."

I couldn't help but smile broadly as I hugged him. My dream might just come true.

"Thank you so much!" I breathed out.

Nath hugged me back, and then pulled away so he could plant a kiss on my lips. I smiled as I deepened the kiss.

Before long, we were heavily making out. His lips on mine felt so good; so loving, yet rough and forceful. My hands went to his hair and I ran my fingers through it. The action caused him to moan into my mouth. Damn, this boy was a good kisser.

I swore as my phone's text ring tone went off. Nathan broke the kiss and looked at me.

"Leave it." he whispered. His voice was lower than what it had been earlier. That made it even sexier.

I reached my phone and opened the text. It was mom.

**Funeral's 7 Friday at McKey/Stone. **

I sighed at typed out a quick response before throwing the damned thing in my bag.

**I'll c u there mom**

I then grabbed Nath's neck and pulled him in for a sweet kiss. After a minute he pulled away.

"Who was that?"

I sighed. "Mom. Funeral's Friday." Guess our happy little moment was over.

"What time do we need to be there?" He asked as he collapsed beside me, stroking my hair gently.

For a moment, I was taken back. "We?"

"Well, yeah…I'm not gonna make you go through this alone." He stated quietly.

I couldn't express how much that meant to me. I kissed his free hand and told him when the funeral would be.

"I'll print off some directions tomorrow. I'm driving." He said. I couldn't help but smile slightly.

"Oh you are?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Wouldn't be right for me to make you drive. It's your family's funeral."

We sat there; quiet for several moments before I spoke up.

"Thank you. You don't know how much this means." I told him.

He let out a sigh and pulled me to him. I buried my head in his chest as he kissed my hair.

"I love you." He whispered.

I looked up and into his blue/green eyes. I wanted to tell him how freaking much he meant to me. I wanted to tell him how his little quirks and witty remarks made me fall for him harder every day.

The only words my mouth would form were "I love you too. So much."

He smiled. I guess that was the only answer he wanted.


	18. Stupify

**Warning: This chapter is mostly a sexual chapter. If you're sensitive to raunchy, explicit scenes then i advise you not to read the first part of this chapter...**

_Yeah, bringing you another disturbing creation_  
_From the mind of one sick animal who can't tell the difference_  
_And gets stupified_

_I've been waiting my whole life for just one fuck_  
_And all I needed was just one fuck_  
_How can you say that you don't give a fuck_  
_I find myself stupefied, coming back again_  
_All I wanted was just one fuck_  
_One tiny little innocent fuck_  
_And when I feel like I'm shit out of luck_  
_I find my stupified, coming back again_

_Why, do you like playing around with_  
_My, narrow scope of reality_  
_I, can feel it all start slipping I think I'm breaking down_

_Why, do you like playing around with_  
_My, narrow scope of reality_  
_I, can feel it all start slipping away_

_See but I don't get it_  
_Don't you think maybe we could put it on credit_  
_Don't you think it can take control when I don't let it_  
_I get stupified_  
_It's all the same you say_  
_Live with it_

_I don't get it_  
_Don't you think maybe we could put it on credit_  
_Don't you think it can take control when I don't let it_  
_I get stupified I get stupified_  
_[ Lyrics from: d/disturbed/stupify_ ]_  
_All the people in the left wing rock_  
_And all the people in the right wing rock_  
_And all the people in the underground rock_  
_I find myself stupified, coming back again_  
_All the people in the high rise rock_  
_And all the people in the projects rock_  
_And all la gente in the barrio rock_  
_I and myself stupified, coming back again_

_Why, do you like playing around with_  
_My, narrow scope of reality_  
_I, can feel it all start slipping I think I'm breaking down_

_Why, do you like playing around with_  
_My, narrow scope of reality_  
_I, can feel it all start slipping away_

_See but I don't get it_  
_Don't you think maybe we could put it on credit_  
_Don't you think it can take control when I don't let it_  
_I get stupified_  
_It's all the same you say_  
_Live with it_

_I don't get it_  
_Don't you think maybe we could put it on credit_  
_Don't you think it can take control when I don't let it_  
_I get stupified I get stupified_

_And don't deny me_  
_No baby now, don't deny me_  
_And darlin' don't be afraid_

_I don't get it_  
_Don't you think maybe we could put it on credit_  
_Don't think it can take control when I don't let it_  
_I get stupified_

_Look in my face, step in my soul_  
_I begin to stupify_

_Look in my face, step in my soul_  
_I begin to stupify_

_Look in my face, step in my soul_  
_I begin to stupify_

_Look in my face, step in my soul_  
_I begin to stupify_

_Look in my face, step in my soul_  
_I begin to stupify_

_Look in my face_

_Look in my face_

Nathan's hands gripped my hips tightly as he threw me back on the bed and straddled me. I dragged my fingers up his back and nipped his ear as he left his mark on the right side of neck. I moaned out in pleasure and I heard him growl possessively. That was a definite turn on. He pulled away for a moment and locked eyes with me. I knew why. He was scared I would regret this. Boy was he wrong. I needed this. My gut told me that Nathan was the one for me. He'd be my one and my only. Seeing as I wasn't shying away from him, he went back to kissing me before his hands made their way up my sides to remove my top. He'd already saved me the trouble of removing his shirt since he'd walked in the room without one. We grinded against each other feverishly, fighting for domination. Within minutes I was stripped down to my panties and bra while Nath was in just his boxers. I felt shy, but Nath's continuous assault on my mouth left me brain dead. It was pure electric, lightning if you will. His fingers caressed my back and quickly undid my bra. My fingers trailed from his chest down his fit abs. From there, it was hard to ignore how excited he was. Shit, I was excited too. My underwear surely were damp from how badly I ached for Nath.

In a rush of movement we were stripped of our underwear. Now all that separated us was the small space it would take for him to thrust himself into me. When I looked in his eyes, all I saw was hunger; a hunger to make me his and his alone. His hands glided from my hair down my back and settled on my ass. He made a guttural noise in his throat and yanked me to him. I yelped out as his hard on entered me. He allowed me a moment to get used to his size before slowly moving about. My eyes rolled back in my head and I moaned in pleasure. A grin plastered itself on Nath's face as well as a well thought out curse escaped his lips. Nathan stroked my clit and thrust deeper. Oh God in Heaven this felt like magic. I bit his shoulder to keep from shouting at the top of my lungs, but he didn't seem to mind. Together we moved in synch bringing each other closer and closer to our climax. I arched my back as I felt a hot rush make its way to my core. Nathan assaulted the exposed flesh of my neck and shoulder with loving nips and outright sexy bites. How did he know that I absolutely loved being bitten? With each thrust, he moved deeper and deeper until I felt him also nearing his peak. My eyes went wide as I experienced my orgasm.

"Fucking shit!" I yelled out, blinded from the pure ecstasy that I was encompassed in.

Nath continued thrusting until I felt him shudder, and he spilled his seed into the condom. He growled out a few curses and continued kissing me as he rode out his orgasm. This was what Heaven must feel like.

* * *

I awoke before Nath the next morning. I grinned as I remembered what had transpired the night before. Nath and I were officially together. Yes, we'd been dating for roughly two months but last night he fully claimed me as his. Gingerly, I tried to ease out of bed. This proved a near impossible feat.

"Where're you going?" Nath mumbled tiredly as his arm gripped my naked waist a little tighter.

"I need to pee." I whispered.

He groaned and turned his head. His grip eased and he soon was snoring. I assumed he had fallen back asleep. As stealthily as I could (which wasn't very stealthy at all) I climbed out of bed, grabbing a shirt off the floor and making my way to the bathroom.

Once I finished using the toilet, I examined Nath's marks on me. There was a hickey on the right side of my neck, a hickey on my shoulder, and there even was a hickey above my left breast. I remembered he'd decided to go all vampire on me and draw blood. They weren't near as sore as I thought they'd be. The one near my breast was the most tender, since it'd been the most damaging mark left on me. I yanked my bra and underwear on before throwing on the random shirt I'd picked up off the floor. I smirked when I realized it was Nath's orange "Check Me Out" Tee.

I walked into the kitchen and started making breakfast. Omelets and bacon sandwiches sounded good to me. As I started frying up the bacon for the sandwiches, Tom walked in.

"Morning." Tom and I both stated. I chuckled when I realized he and I had said that in unison.

He then rubbed his eyes and began making tea for him and the boys, since I knew absolutely nothing of making that vile substance.

I was so busy making the food; I didn't notice that Tom had placed a cup of coffee before me.

"Straight black, strong enough to make your hair stand." He stated goofily.

I grinned broadly and sipped the warm liquid. Hell yeah, this was my kind of brew. In the few weeks I had gotten to know the boys, Tom and I had grown rather close. On a few occasions he, as well as the other boys had referred to me as Tom's long lost "sister" on the basis that our personalities were too similar and we tended to say the same thing at the same time.

As I placed a few pieces of bacon on a plate, Tom took in my countenance.

"You and Nath did it last night didn't ya?" He stated nonchalantly, as if talking about my sex life was nothing unusual.

I blushed heavily.

"And what makes you think that?" I asked, going on the defensive.

"You're wearing his shirt, plus ya got a little something there—right there." He then touched the spot where the hickey on my shoulder was.

I yelped out and slapped his hand away. Of course, he just chuckled.

"Thomas Parker, to hell with ya." I said, laughing as well.

**Mkayy so for those of you who made it through the chapter, i applaud you and hope that you leave me a review on how good or bad you like the story so far :) As always you guys keep me writing! **

**BTW if you were wondering why i chose Stupify by Disturbed as their love making song, i did so to get across how desperate and hungry they were for each other... ;)**


	19. Adrenalize

_Come a little bit closer before we begin_  
_Lemme tell you how I want it_  
_And exactly what I need_  
_I'm here for one drug_  
_I'm only here for one thing_  
_So come on and tell me,_  
_Can you fly like you're free_  
_Cause I need to feel_  
_Yeah, I need to say_

_I must confess,_  
_I'm addicted to this_  
_Shove your kiss straight through my chest_  
_I can't deny, I'd die without this_  
_Make me feel like a god_  
_Music, love and sex_  
_Adrenalize me_

_I crave excess,_  
_Turning wine into sweat dripping down my neck_  
_I can't deny, I'd die without this_  
_Make me feel like a god_  
_Adrenaline and sex_

_Get a little bit higher,_  
_So we can fall til we bleed_  
_Push a little bit harder_  
_Pull me into the speed_  
_So tell me, can you feel this_  
_Come into my dream_  
_Are you ready to awaken?_  
_Are you ready to feed?_  
_Cause I need to feel,_  
_Yeah, I need to say_

_I must confess,_  
_I'm addicted to this_  
_Shove your kiss straight through my chest_  
_I can't deny, I'd die without this_  
_Make me feel like a god_  
_Music, love and sex_  
_Adrenalize me_

_I crave excess,_  
_Turning wine into sweat dripping down my neck_  
_I can't deny, I'd die without this_  
_Make me feel like a god_  
_Adrenaline and sex_

_We have to live before we die_  
_We were born to live before we die_  
_Don't you wanna live before you die?_  
_Let me see you live before you die_  
_Right here, right now, adrenalize me_  
_I'm addicted to this_

Once our laughing had subsided and most of the food was done cooking, I got the vibe that Tom really wanted to talk to me.

"You know being with Nath's gotten you a lot of hate on twitter." He said. I nodded.

"Yeah, I know. Not something I really worry about though."

"Just be careful, K? Some of these girls are mental." He said, looking dead at me. "At one of our concerts I watched some poor girl get completely pummeled by a group of girls who went nuts because Max chose her to come up on stage with him."

I bit into my freshly made bacon and mayo sandwich before speaking. "I'm fine, alright? No one's gonna mess with me." I then smirked. "You just worry too much."

He sank his teeth into his sandwich and washed it down with his fresh cup of tea. "Yeah, I do. It's just cause I care. You're honestly like the little sister I never had, and it'd kill me if something happened to you. 'Sides, before you came around, Nath was always being a hard-arsed diva and his ex,"

"Alex." I interrupted.

"Yeah, her. She didn't make things any better. She always had him tore up and upset over everything. It wasn't healthy." He continued. "But you and him…seeing you guys is like seeing lifelong friends; like two pieces of a puzzle. You're good for him. You make him happy."

I sighed, and smiled at the mental picture. Yeah I guess you could say Nath and me were puzzle pieces.

"I try to." I said quietly.

We were silent for a while, enjoying our meal.

"Does he make you happy?" he asked suddenly. I stared at my plate, trying to come up with words. I began thinking of all the memories we had together. Me first meeting him; when he took Sena and me to Celebration Station; how he kissed me that first time…

I faced Tom and answered him with the words my heart told me.

"Yeah. He does."

* * *

***Friday***

"Nath, I've got to get ready." I pleaded softly. Nathan ignored my struggles as we continued making out on his bed.

"Five more minutes?" he asked in between kisses.

"I've got to take a shower." I repeated, trying not to get lost in the pleasure he was giving me. Finally Nath broke the kiss and allowed me to get up and gather my things.

"I love you." He said as he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I leaned my head back and rested it on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"I love you more." I said, staring at the outfit I'd be wearing to my father's funeral. It was a simple spaghetti strap black dress with three-quarter sleeve black vest. Nath kissed my cheek.

"Go get ready." He whispered in my ear.

I nodded and grabbed my toiletries as I made my way to the shower.

I adjusted the temperature of the water before peeling off my clothes and stepping under the stream. The water felt good on my skin and the smell of my shampoo made me smile. As I continued washing my hair, I heard the door open and shut. I peeped around the curtain and saw Nathan peeling his shirt off and laying it on the sink counter. I blushed and rinsed my hair off as I heard him slip in the shower with me. I turned around to face him, knowing I was blushing like crazy. I smiled and kissed him passionately. Nath grinned as we kissed and deepened it. My hands gripped his hair and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he held me to him. I felt his erection begging for some action.

"How long do we got?" I whispered. There were only two bathrooms so the boys had to share them. Tom, Siva, and Max shared one bathroom while Jay, Nath, and I shared the other. I hoped Jay hadn't planned on interrupting us for a while.

"Enough. Jay's cleaning out Neytiri's cage." He answered back. His voice had grown husky with lust. I grinned as he leaned me back against the shower wall kissing me from my mouth to my collarbone. I pressed myself against him, begging him to take me right that instant. Without hesitation he entered me.

We didn't worry if our excessive swearing and moaning could be heard by our friends. All that mattered to me was the feel of Nath's skin on mine. The way he seemed to bring me to my climax in no time at all never failed to amaze me. If there ever had been some sort of god of sex out there, he was certainly reincarnated through Nath. Oh God, the way he made me feel!

Once we were both spent, we leaned against each other, feeling extremely giddy and lightheaded from the after glow of our sex. I felt like I could take on the world when I was with Nath. That heartbreakingly beautiful smile and the way he always told me he loved me made my heart rate soar. Sometimes it felt like I was invincible with him.

"We need to get dressed." Nath whispered. I unwrapped myself from his embrace and grabbed the towel.

Quickly he grabbed his own towel and kissed me, before leaving to go get dressed in his room.

* * *

I strut into the bedroom with my towel securely around me and began fixing my hair. The good thing about Nath's room was that he had a huge mirror hanging on the wall. I plugged the blow dryer in and placed a small amount of straightening crème in my hair. Oh the joys of having insanely wavy hair.

I made Nath leave the room to get ready as I dressed. No matter how often he tells me I'm beautiful, I don't think I'll ever believe him. I combed back through my hair after I got my dress on and put on enough eye liner to make my eyes stand out and a little bit of matching eye shadow. Lip-gloss completed the look and I took one last glance in the mirror. My strappy heels made little clicking noises, but I did my best to walk a straight line in them (a near impossible feat if you ask me).

In the sitting room, Nath, Max, and Seev were relaxing on the couch. Nath immediately did a double take when he saw me. I blushed and dipped my head in embarrassment.

"You ready to go?" I asked. Nath nodded and stood up, looking really good in a simple black suit. I noticed that the other guys were also dressed in their best and Tom called out for someone to help him with his tie.

"Where're you guys going?" I asked innocently.

"We're going to your dad's funeral, if that's ok with you." Siva said rather timidly. I was taken aback. I hadn't expected them to want to come.

"No it's fine. You really don't have to if you don't want to though." I told them.

"China, you're as much a part of our family as any of us. You really think we're gonna just sit back and let you go through this by yourself?" Max said for the group.

I couldn't help but bite back tears and cast them a grateful smile. They really were the best friends a girl could ask for.


	20. Breaking Inside

_I caught a chill and it's still frozen on my skin_

_I think about why I'm alone by myself no one else to explain_

_How far do I go no one knows_

_If the end is so much better why don't we just live forever?_

_Don't tell me I'm the last one in line_

_Don't tell me I'm too late this time_

_I don't wanna live to waste another day_

_Underneath the shadow of mistakes I've made_

_'Cuz I feel like I'm breaking inside_

_I, I, I, I don't wanna fall and say I lost it all_

_'Cuz maybe there's a part of me that hit the wall_

_Leaving pieces of me behind_

_And I feel like I'm breaking inside_

_Out here nothing's clear_

_Except the moment I decided to move on and I ignited_

_Disappear into the fear_

_You know there ain't no coming back when you're still carrying the past_

_You can't erase, separate_

_Cigarette in my hand, hope you all understand_

_I won't be the last one in line_

_I finally figured out what's mine_

_I don't wanna live to waste another day_

_Underneath the shadow of mistakes I've made_

_'Cuz I feel like I'm breaking inside_

_I, I, I, I don't wanna fall and say I lost it all'_

_Cuz maybe there's a part of me that hit the wall_

_Leaving pieces of me behind, leaving pieces of me behind_

_And I feel like I'm breaking inside_

_I won't be the last one in line_

_I finally figured out what's mine_

_I don't wanna live to waste another day_

_Underneath the shadow of mistakes I've made_

_'Cuz I feel like I'm breaking inside_

_I, I, I, I don't wanna fall and say I lost it all_

_'Cuz maybe there's a part of me that hit the wall_

_Leaving pieces of me behind, leaving pieces of me behind_

_And I feel like I'm breaking inside_

_And I feel like I'm breaking_

_And I feel like I'm breaking inside_

Nath drove me to the funeral home in my truck while she and the rest of the boys rode in the van. It was a long drive, but it gave me time to clear my head.

Once we reached our destination, over an hour from the hotel, Nath grabbed my hand in a reassuring gesture. We gave each other a small smile before exiting the vehicle. I glanced around the parking lot. There were several cars and about two dozen or so motorcycles, which meant that the club was paying its respect to its fallen member.

The boys and Jayne followed me inside. Instantly I caught the eye of my god brother and his wife along with my two god nephews.

I waved at the family as they made their way over to my crew and me.

"Jax," I smiled, giving him a big hug.

He grinned and kissed the top of my head. "Angel eyes."

I then moved to give Tara and the boys their hugs. "You look beautiful." She said quietly.

I blushed and thanked her. As I did so, Thomas, Jax's youngest son, grabbed a hold of my neck, not wanting to let go. He tried mumbling my name but it came out "Annie Eyes". I chuckled at the year and half year old's mispronunciation of Jax's nickname for me.

"Jax, Tara, these are my friends Mrs. Jayne Collins, Jay McGuinnes, Max George, Siva Kaneswaran, Tom Parker," I then paused a second and glanced at my boyfriend. "And this is Nathan Sykes, my boyfriend." I couldn't believe how proud I felt at telling someone that Nath was mine and mine alone.

"Guys, meet my god brother Jax Teller, his wife Tara, their oldest son Abel," I then gestured to the cutie in my arms. "And this little fella' is Thomas." Nathan smiled at the baby and instantly Thomas was grinning back. Jax and Tara exchanged pleasantries with everyone before telling me where the guest book was and that my mother and little cousin were indeed here. I nodded and Jayne then whisked the boys away to go sign the book. Jax left with Able to go to the bathroom. This just left me with Tara and Thomas.

"Your boyfriend's cute." She stated.

I blushed heavily and focused my gaze on one of the loose buttons on Thomas's shirt.

"Does your mom know about him?" I shook my head.

"You should tell her when you get the chance." She said.

Before I could respond, a certain small body wrapped me in a hug.

"China!" Sena exclaimed, a smile plastered on her face. I hugged my cousin back and kissed her forehead.

"Hay kid. How's it going?"

"Aunt Carol and me stayed with Gemma and Clay this week."

I nodded, trying not to show how much I disapproved of them staying with the bastard. I didn't have any qualms with Gemma, but I hated Clay with a burning passion. He was the one who'd gotten my father killed by running those stupid drugs.

"D'ya know where Aunt Carol is? I wanna talk to her." I told the small girl. She nodded and grasped my hand once I handed baby Thomas back to Tara.

"It was good talking to you Tara." I told my god sister-in-law. She smiled, but looked at me seriously.

"Just remember what I said China. Your mom's been really tore up about everything. She doesn't wanna lose you too."

Sena took me to the area where my mother and a lot of my other family members were. Mom seemed like she was holding it together pretty well.

"Baby, why don't you go see if Tara will get you a drink from the drink machine outside?" I asked, handing her a little bit of money. She nodded and walked off to find Tara.

Quietly, I walked up to mom. Was she still pissed at me? Would this turn into some big fight scene? I cleared my throat and she looked at me.

"Hi, mom." I said awkwardly.

"I see you did make it." She said, casting me a tired look. I nodded.

"Of course I did, mom."

"So where'd ya end up staying?" She asked, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue.

I bit my lip and looked away. Guess this was a good time as ever to tell her.

"With this guy…He-he's my boyfriend." Instantly her eyes lit up as she looked at me, but she didn't go into hysterics like I thought she would. In fact, she did this sort of stifled chuckle.

"Yeah, mom told me you'd been hanging out with some boy a lot. Figured it was a matter of time before you told me."

My eyes widened slightly and I blushed.

"How long have you been seeing him?" she asked.

"About two months. We met at the movie theatre when me and Autumn went to see "Possession"." I told her.

She nodded and looked at me. "Are you being careful?" I knew what she meant by 'careful' so I blushed even more.

"Mom!" I exclaimed. I really was not comfortable talking about my sex life at my father's funeral.

"I just wanna make sure you're safe. God only knows, I don't want the details."

Nathan then caught my eye across the room. He gave me his signature smile and winked at me. I smiled and blew him a kiss. Mom turned to look at him, and cast me a worn smile.

"Is that him?" she asked.

I nodded. "His name's Nathan."

"I've seen that look before. Don't bother denying it. You're head over heels for him aren't you?"

I nodded, wishing I could just spill everything and tell her how much I loved Nath.

"You still staying with Clay?" I asked. Mom nodded.

"Just until tomorrow. He thinks the club's got the whole Mayan situation under control. So we're going to be moving back home."

"How's Gran?"

"She's handling it pretty well. Her body can only take so much stress though. She's not as strong as she once was." Mom said wistfully, looking at my grandmother sitting in one of the chairs, talking to several older people.

I'll be coming back home soon." I blurted out. "Nathan's going on tour in two weeks."

"He's in a band?" She asked.

"Yeah, the band's got this big tour coming up so I'll probably come back home then."

"Just don't let him break your heart sweetie."

I shot her a look. "He wouldn't, mom. I love him. He loves me."

"If it's meant to be it'll work out." She concluded.

* * *

I walked around, speaking to several people throughout the funeral home; however, I mainly stayed by Nath and the rest of the boys.

A little before the service started, I walked outside and sat on the bench. I just needed a minute to catch my breath before I totally lost it. Not long after I'd taken my seat, my friend Audrey joined me.

"You okay?" She asked.

I stared at the ground, not sure how to really respond.

"I guess. Things have been so crazy this past week."

"Tell me bout it. Where the hell were you? Your mom shows up at my door asking if I'd heard from you, saying you ran off and she didn't know where you were. Talk about being scared shitless."

I couldn't help but smile a little. "Sorry. I ended up staying with Nath. Things got out of hand at home."

"So spill. What all happened? One day I'm hanging out with you, then the next I hear your dad's dead, and you've run away."

I then proceeded to tell my friend everything that had transpired in the whole week beginning with Jax's visit to my house, delivering the dreadful news and ending with where we were now.

"Nathan's protective of you isn't he? The whole time you've been here, he's done nothing but watch you like a hawk; him and Tom. They never let you out of their sights." She explained, lighting up a cigarette she'd most likely stolen from her mother.

"Yeah Nath, Tom, Seev, Jay, and Max have been really supportive. They're honest to God good friends."

"And good lovers?" Audrey teased. I blushed and chuckled.

"Dunno bout the others, but Nath sure as hell is."

"Well, I'm glad you're happy with him. You deserve it after everything that's happened."

I hugged her and thanked her for being there as moral support for me. It really was good to have friends that cared.

* * *

The service soon started and the preacher man exalted my father in his last hour. Hushed sobs and silent tears filled the quiet room as the preacher went on. I sat between Nathan and Tom in the pews. I laid my head against Nath's shoulder, feeling slightly disoriented. He placed gentle kisses on my forehead and told me that things would be okay. I honestly think that's what got me through the service without breaking down.

Before the coffin was taken to the burial sight, the funeral director allowed the family one last chance to view the deceased. I hadn't really gotten the chance to pay my final respects so I walked forward as many of the other funeral goers dispersed to their cars to follow the hearse to the burial sight. My younger cousin, who'd traveled from out of town, also stepped up. Holding hands, we each had our moment to finalize everything.

As I stared at my father's cold, dead corpse, I felt the floodgates open up. Dad shouldn't have died. My father shouldn't have had to pay for Clay's get-rich-quick scheme. I wanted so bad just to yank at my father's shirt and make him wake up.

"Get up." I whispered. I hadn't realized I had voiced my thoughts till Cassidy looked at me. Tears were in our eyes and the pain was oh so real. "Get up, dad. Please wake up."

As I mumbled that phrase with tear filled eyes, I felt my knees grow weak, like I had run a marathon. I didn't want to make a scene by collapsing, but I knew it would be inevitable. Suddenly a set of masculine hands grasped me. I looked up and saw Max holding me, keeping me from face planting in front of my father's coffin. As we made our way back to the pews, Max handed me off to Nathan, and that's when I fully lost the ability to put one foot in front of the other. Now I'm not a heavy person. I weigh maybe a hundred twenty tops, but it took Nathan and Tom both holding me up to get me back to my seat. The funeral director then called for the Paul bearers and had them carry my father's casket out of sight.

"Goodbye, daddy." I whispered, as Tom and Nath both enveloped me in comforting embraces. It was really hitting me. My father was gone.

Nathan's POV

We arrived back at our hotel pretty late that night. The whole ride back, China remained silent. She wasn't crying anymore, but I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad sign. Without even taking off her shoes, China collapsed on the bed and stared at the wall. She looked so lost, and empty. I sat on her side and took off my shoes before asking her if she wanted anything. She didn't even look at me. She just shook her head and went back to that freaky staring she was doing. I looked down and noticed that her feet were swelling and slightly red from wearing those dammed heels. I'm sure they hurt, but I hadn't heard her complain at all. As gently as I could, I removed her shoes and tossed them by her bag. I coaxed her into a sitting position and removed the vest she'd worn over her dress. We locked eyes for a second and I saw a glimmer of the pain she was feeling. My parents had split when Jess and I were little and I really never spent much time with my father. Sometimes it felt like he was dead to me.

"Why don't you change while I go say night to the boys, okay?" she nodded weakly as she took the "Game Over" shirt I handed her. I kissed her forehead before leaving the room.

Immediately Jay and Tom were asking me questions.

"Is she okay?" Tom voiced.

"Dunno. I got her getting ready for bed now. Hasn't spoken since the funeral." I told them honestly.

All the boys looked worried. Shit, I was worried. I promised myself I'd be there to take care of her, and I stood by it. Max seemed to catch on to what I was thinking.

"Go be with her Nath. She needs ya."

"Aye, just take care of her mate." Siva said, looking at me seriously.

I nodded and said goodnight to the guys as I walked back to where my princess lay, trying to forget the events of today.

China was lying back down on the bed when I returned, although she had changed into my shirt. I quickly undid the buttons of my dress shirt and took it off before taking off my slacks. I crawled into bed with her and wrapped my arms around her, gathering her to me. She was so tiny and fragile looking it scared me sometimes. I laid my head on top of hers and inhaled the smell of her hair. It smelled like her shampoo; strawberries.

For sometime we lay like that; just letting the silence be. It hurt me so bad to know she was hurting and I didn't know what to do. I felt like I could hear her heart breaking as the minutes ticked by. China then gingerly touched my arm, still looking at the wall.

"Please…don't leave me right now." She whispered.

I intertwined our fingers and kissed her hand.

"Wouldn't dream of it, love."

**Wheww, another chapter written! Well, as you can tell it was an extremely long one, but nothing really exciting happens. As always, I love reviews :) Your comments keep me writing! **


	21. I'll Stay With You For All Of Time

**Well, here's another chapter! Hope you enjoy it :) And, if you'd want to be an absolute doll, you can leave me a review and share this story with your friends, etc through Facebook or Twitter! I love you guys so much ^_^**

**~~AnGeLs and DaEmOns AKA SOA_angel_TW~~**

**Happy reading! **

_So lately, been wondering_  
_Who will be there to take my place_  
_When I'm gone you'll need love_  
_To light the shadows on your face_

_If a greater wave shall fall_  
_And fall upon us all_  
_Then between the sand and stone_  
_Could you make it on your own?_

_If I could, then I would_  
_I'll go wherever you will go_  
_Way up high or down low_  
_I'll go wherever you will go_

_And maybe, I'll find out_  
_A way to make it back someday_  
_To watch you, to guide you_  
_Through the darkest of your days_

_If a great wave shall fall_  
_And fall upon us all_  
_Well then I hope there's someone out there_  
_Who can bring me back to you_

_If I could, then I would_  
_I'll go wherever you will go_  
_Way up high or down low_  
_I'll go wherever you will go_

_Run away with my heart_  
_Run away with my hope_  
_Run away with my love_

_I know now, just quite how_  
_My life and love might still go on_  
_In your heart, in your mind_  
_I'll stay with you for all of time_

_If I could, then I would_  
_I'll go wherever you will go_  
_Way, way up high or down low_  
_I'll go wherever you will go_

_If I could turn back time_  
_I'll go wherever you will go_  
_If I could make you mine_  
_I'll go wherever you will go_  
_I'll go wherever you will go_

China's POV

*** The next morning ***

I awoke, snuggled into Nath's chest. His arms were loosely wrapped around me and there were a few tearstains on my pillow. I most likely cried in my sleep. As I sat up, Nath opened his eyes, looking at me. He reached his hand up and caressed my cheek.

"Morning." I whispered, wrapping my hand around his.

"Morning." He repeated. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, casting him a small smile.

"You sure?" He asked. I knew why he was so worried. Last night, I had completely lost it. I was a complete wreck. Today was a new day, however. I was always taught to move forward and never look back. Loosing my father still hurt something awful, but I knew he was in a better place and that karma would come back to bite Clay's greedy ass one day.

"Yeah, I'm sure. He's in a better place." I said quietly as I kissed his hand. He smiled, seeing that I was actually functioning somewhat. I hopped out of bed and grabbed my clothes so that I could get ready for the day.

* * *

It was another day full of radio interviews and what not for the group. I mainly sat in on them and wrote in my notebook. The guys from In Demand Radio actually asked the band to do a few songs for the audience. They performed "Glad You Came", "Lightning", and a few others.

As they finished singing their hit single, Nath then looked dead at me. I blushed furiously and looked back down at my writings.

"This next song, I'd like to dedicate to my girlfriend, China." He said as he winked at me and smiled broadly.

The guitarist then began playing an instrumental and Max started singing the first verse of "Wherever You Will Go" by The Calling. Damn, I really do believe I love him…

* * *

About eight-thirty that night, we arrived back at the hotel. Jayne bid all of us goodnight and most of the boys decided to go out clubbing. Nathan and I couldn't, being underage and all, so we decided to sit around watching movies.

Each of the band members teased Nath and me for being too young to go out and party, and Jay tucked his hands into his armpits and made flapping gestures.

"Have fun you love birds." Max commented.

The two of us flipped them off as they left. They really were like young children.

As the movie, The Others played on, questions burned through my mind. At almost all the interviews, the boys were asked about their upcoming tour. I really didn't relish in the thought of Nath leaving me for almost a year, but I couldn't be a child about it. This was what he did for a living.

"Nath?"

"Yes, love?"

"What's going to happen? Once you go on tour."

"What d'ya mean?"

"Well, what's gonna happen—with us?" I asked, hesitating.

"I've been meaning to ask you this, China. Would you want to come on tour with us?"

I looked at him as if he were insane. "You can't be serious."

"Yeah, I am. Look, Jayne can get you a ticket. All you have to do is say yes."

My mind began reeling a hundred miles a minute. "I can't Nath. I don't want any special treatment."

"It's not special treatment. Seev was gonna take Nareesha but she's working in London for a few months. And Tom was gonna take Kels, but…" he trailed off.

I sat there quiet for a moment. "Nath, I'd love to go with you, but what about my family? I can't just leave mom to take care of Sena and Gran."

He looked like he was ready to give up on convincing me. I really did want to go, but quite frankly, I didn't know how to break the news to mom. I couldn't just say, "Hay mom, I'm leaving with my boyfriend to go on a world tour. See ya in about ten months." I then recalled the list the boys made up of how much time they'd be spending where. The list had said that they'd be playing in America and Canada first. And all the time they spent here would equal up to about two months. I could handle being away that long.

"What if we compromised?" I asked.

Nath looked at me, waiting to hear my idea.

"What if I agree to go on tour, but for just the American and Canadian part of it? When you guys leave to go over seas, I'll come back home."

He seemed to mull it over for a while before answering me.

"I guess that'll work. At least I'll have you to myself for two more months." He breathed into my ear. I grinned like a Cheshire cat and kissed him sweetly. I liked the idea of spending two more months with my amazing boyfriend…

* * *

I drove back to my hometown the next evening. I decided to spend the remaining two weeks with my mom, Gran, and little cousin before I left to go on tour with the boys. Whether or not mom liked me leaving didn't matter. I was still going to go with them.

I pulled up to my house and saw a strong man help mom carry her things into the house. Instantly I recognized him as a Phantom. I climbed out of my truck and walked over to the man as he chatted with Sena.

Sena greeted me heartily as she spotted me.

"Hay kid, you know better than me where to take this." The man, I now recognized as Derrick, or as we know him, Happy said to Sena. He handed her a box full of her things and she made her way inside to go through everything.

"Hay, Happy." I said, once we were alone. Happy was a long time member of the Phantoms, and a close friend to mom.

"Hay, China. You moving back in?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yeah, just for a bit, though. I'm leaving in two weeks."

"Why?"

"Leaving with my boyfriend. But I'll be back in a few months."

"Your mom know?" He asked, crossing his arms. I shook my head.

"No. I'm gonna tell her maybe tonight."

"Just let me know when you do so I can go hide in my cellar. She's gonna throw a bitch fit from hell if she catches you slipping off with some guy."

We both chuckled.

"This the same guy that was at the funeral with you? Small kid that you sat with?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I hope things work out. Just remember what to do if he breaks your heart." He said. I couldn't tell if he was joking or being serious.

I rolled my eyes. "Happy, I'm not gonna cut off his balls if he breaks my heart." I then paused and placed a hand on my hip. "But I might give him a good kick there."

Happy smiled and laughed heartily. "That's my girl."

He fist pumped me and placed the motorcycle helmet back on his head. Mom walked outside to bid him goodbye and her eyes locked on me. Happy took this as his cue to get out of doge and soon he started up his Harley and was flying down the rode, leaving a trail of smog behind.

* * *

I looked back at mom. She smiled at me and held a hand out to me. I took it and we both walked inside.

"So has Nathan gone on tour yet?" She asked as we sat down on the couch. My three dogs were running around crazily, but it was adorable.

Here it comes. I had to tell her.

"No, he's leaving in two weeks…and…so am I." I glanced up to see mom's reaction. Of course she looked stunned.

"You're going with him?"

I nodded. "Yeah. The band's manager got me a ticket and Nath really wants me to come with him."

"I don't like it, China. So many things could happen."

I rolled my eyes. "Save that mom. With all the shit the club's put us through, I'm not sure there's not much more that could happen. And it'd only be for two months. They'd be touring America and parts of Canada. After that part of the tour, I'd come home and they'd continue on to Australia, Asia, and the UK." I told her.

She looked away, putting her hands up in frustration. "No, I don't want you going. Just, no!"

"Too bad. I'm going. I've already got my ticket and you can't stop me. I love Nathan and he wants me to be with him."

I held her gaze for what seemed like ages. Neither of us was giving in.

"You'd walk through hell for him wouldn't you?" she asked suddenly.

The question caught me off guard, but I answered it quickly. "With a smile on my face."


	22. Gonna Be Your Saviour

_I'm everything you've wanted_  
_I am the one who's haunting you_  
_I am the eyes inside of you_  
_Stare back at you_

_There's nothing left to lose_  
_There's nothing left to prove_  
_Surrender your love_  
_It's all you can do, yeah_

_What you got_  
_What you want_  
_What you need_  
_Gonna be your savior_  
_Everything's gonna crash and break_  
_But I know, yeah, I know_  
_What you got_  
_What you want_  
_What you need_  
_Gonna be your savior_  
_Everything's gonna crash and break_  
_Your savior_

_It's time to redefine_  
_Your deophobic mind_  
_Don't hesitate, no escape_  
_From secrets on the inside_

_There's nothing left to lose_  
_There's nothing left to prove_  
_Surrender your love_  
_It's all you can do, yeah_

_What you got_  
_What you want_  
_What you need_  
_Gonna be your savior_  
_Everything's gonna crash and break_  
_But I know, yeah, I know_  
_What you got_  
_What you want_  
_What you need_  
_Gonna be your savior_  
_Everything's gonna crash and break_  
_Your savior_

_I am the eyes inside_  
_Staring back at you [2x]_

_You need, you need me, yeah_

_What you got_  
_What you need_  
_Everything's gonna crash and break_  
_What you got_  
_What you need_  
_Everything's gonna crash and break_

_What you got_  
_What you want_  
_What you need_  
_Gonna be your savior_  
_Everything's gonna crash and break_  
_But I know, yeah, I know_  
_What you got_  
_What you want_  
_What you need_  
_Gonna be your savior_  
_Everything's gonna crash and break_  
_Your savior_

_I'm watching you_  
_Cause you need me_  
_Yeah, yeah, cause you need me_  
_I'm watching you_

Mom finally understood where I was coming from on our talk about me going with the boys. She wasn't happy with it, but admitted that she couldn't stop me. With that out of the way, we moved on to discussing what else was going on. Mom let it slip that Clay was pissed at me since I wanted to leave and I blamed him for my father's death, but did I really give a fuck? Not in the slightest. I also couldn't believe mom was considering moving Gran into a nursing home, but I understood. She'd been slowly going downhill for a while. No one really wanted to admit it though.

As I looked at the refrigerator, I noticed a big sheet of paper from the courts. Guess our court date had been announced. Mom saw what I was looking at and took the sheet down. I looked at it, and saw that the date was set for Monday at ten AM. That was tomorrow morning. Mom then went over everything with me and even showed me the outfit she'd picked out for court.

"Sena's going to have to be there, so you know you'll have to come too. She'll throw a fit if you don't come." She said as she placed her outfit away. I nodded. There was no way I'd miss the hearing.

I lay down that night, feeling utterly exhausted. Thunder sounded in the distance and within moments, it began raining. I heard small footsteps cross the floor and my door creaked open. A flash of lightning showed Sena standing there, looking like she was scared shitless. Another clap of thunder resounded and the young girl began crying. I sat up and patted my bed.

"Come on, Sena. You can sleep here for a bit." Without hesitation, she crawled into bed with me, shaking with fear. I stroked her hair and did my best to wipe away her tears.

"China can you sing that song to me?" She asked in a small voice.

I nodded my head, knowing which one she was talking about. Ever since I had downloaded the song "Savior" by Black Veil Brides Sena had made me sing it to her almost every night. No, in no way shape or form could I sing, but just repeating the lyrics to her, seemed to calm her down when she was upset or angry. I cleared my throat and began singing, and before I knew it she was out like a light.

"I love you baby girl. I won't let anything happen to you, I promise." I whispered, kissing her hair.

* * *

I clasped the rhinestone locket around my neck and checked myself in the mirror. Today was the court hearing over who'd get custody of Sena. I wore my navy blue summer dress and my black heels. The dress was just casual enough to be comfortable, yet sophisticated enough to be worn in a court. My hair, as usual, was straightened and I had a hint of black eyeliner on. I ran upstairs as mom shouted for me to hurry up. For a second I thought she didn't recognize me.

"What d'ya think? Too much?" I asked, apprehensive. She shook her head and smiled at me.

"You look beautiful dear. So grown up." I blushed and looked down. For a second I almost didn't recognize mom either. She looked really great in her black and white dress and button down vest. She wasn't wearing heels, but a pair of cute ballet flats that went well with the ensemble.

Together, along with Sena, we walked out to mom's car and started towards the courthouse. This was going to be a long day.

"All rise, the honorable judge McConnell presiding." Said the bailiff. It felt so weird to be sitting in the courtroom. Sena sat on my left and mom was on my right. The judge then asked her to come forward and state her case. Her lawyer sat beside her at the large table.

Once mom had finished speaking and presenting evidence as to why she believed Sena should be with us, Sena's bastard of a father, John, appeared and took his place at the other table with his lawyer. He, of course, objected and pleaded for custody of Sena be restored to him. Things got heated and words were exchanged between mom and John, but the judge ruled supreme with his gavel.

"We will have an hour recess and when we reconvene the jury will read us the verdict." He stated. I couldn't ignore the bile that rose in my throat. We had a pretty solid case, but anything could happen…

Mom and I walked back into the courtroom with Sena after an hour had passed. Sena's father and the lawyers also walked in as the judge took his seat and called court in session. I sat there fiddling with skirt of my dress and picked at my nails. Twelve strangers would decide Sena's fate in this room. I prayed that I wouldn't have to say goodbye to my little cousin.

"Jury, have you reached a verdict?" Judge McConnell asked. One man from the jury stood up, holding a slip of paper.

"Yes, we have your honor. We, the jury, have unanimously concluded, that based on the evidence presented, full custody of Sena Michele Hawks be awarded to…"

**Annddd, it's a cliffhanger! :O Don't hate me, pretty please! I'll make ya a deal, if I get three reviews I'll post the next chapter before the night's over :D Hope you guys are still enjoying my story. And if you've not heard of "Savior" by BVB, then go look it up now! It's amazing :) However the lyrics i put with this chapter are from the song "Savior" by Skillet. Also a great song!**


	23. Hello

**Well, here's the next chapter! I didn't get the three reviews like i wanted to, but a huge shout out to those who have reviewed ^_^ You honestly don't know how happy it makes me when i see that someone's left me a review :) **

_Playground school bell rings again_  
_Rain clouds come to play again_  
_Has no one told you she's not breathing?_  
_Hello, I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to_  
_Hello_

_If I smile and don't believe_  
_Soon I know I'll wake from this dream_  
_Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken_  
_Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide_  
_Don't cry_

_Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping_  
_Hello, I'm still here_  
_All that's left of yesterday_

"Jury, have you reached a verdict?" Judge McConnell asked. One man from the jury stood up, holding a slip of paper.

"Yes, we have your honor. We, the jury, have unanimously concluded, that based on the evidence presented, full custody of Sena Michele Hawks be awarded to Mrs. Carol Akers."

I nearly screamed with joy at what my ears had just heard.

"We deem him unfit to raise this child and we also advise that Mr. John Hawks be put in a anger management and alcoholics anonymous groups." The man who read off the verdict continued.

The judge nodded and looked out at the rest of the courtroom.

"Mrs. Akers is awarded custody of the child and Mr. Hawks is sentenced to a year minimum at both alcoholics anonymous meetings and anger management courses. Court is adjourned." He pounded the gavel and turned to leave the room.

Mom smiled at me and hugged Sena and me tight. It was over. We could rest easy tonight.

We walked out of there, feeling as if a great weight had been lifted and a prayer had been answered. All that was left was for the papers to be signed and everything to be made official.

As John walked passed us, he glared at mom. "You can't take my own kid away from me!" He then proceeded to charge mom, but was intercepted by two bailiffs.

"Sir, we're going to have to ask you to leave or we will put you in custody!" One of the officers said. John stopped his struggling and carried himself outside, but not before giving us his death glare one more time….

***4 days later (Friday)***

"China, you remember this one don't you?" Gran asked me, pointing to a picture of me when I was maybe 7 years old. I chuckled, sitting on the couch with my soda.

"Yep I do. That was when papa decided to take me out on the horses—big mistake."

Just then I heard a car pull up outside and my dogs began barking wildly. Mom's car pulled into the driveway and she had just gotten out.

"Guess mom got off early." I told Sena and Gran.

As I turned my head, I noticed a figure walk up to mom as she walked towards the house. It stopped her and placed a hand on her shoulder. She tried moving past the person, but it stopped her again. This time, brandishing a sharp butcher knife. On impulse I covered my mouth as I watched in horror as the person shove the blade in mom's side. I felt ready to scream.

"Guys, we gotta go." I said urgently. They looked at me confused. "John's attacked mom. He's after Sena!" I spat out, as I urged them to go to Gran's room and hide. Before shutting the bedroom door, I handed Sena my phone. "Call the cops. Tell them that your daddy hurt your Aunt and you don't know if she's okay. If you can't do it, give the phone to Gran, okay?" I told her. She looked up at me, scared. Quickly I shoved her into the room and yelled for her to lock the door.

Once I was sure they were safe, I ran for cover in the closet in my mom's room. I heard the front door swing open and John yelled out for his kid. My large husky, Albert, sprang from his bed and charged the evil man. I bit down on my finger to keep from yelling. Albert gave a startled yelp as John kicked him across the room. My dog didn't look like he was moving. As John searched the house he found door that lead to Gran's room and tried turning the doorknob.

"I know you're in there, Sena! Don't make me beat you senseless! Get out here and unlock this damn door!" he screamed. My two Pomeranians were locked in the room with Gran and Sena. They barked menacingly, but he didn't care. He then started pounding on the door, trying to break the hinges. I couldn't let him do that. I couldn't let him hurt my little cousin or my Gran.

On impulse, I bounded out from my hiding spot with a pocketknife. It wouldn't do much damage, but at least it would buy Gran and Sena some time.

I charged out quickly and shoved the knife as deep in John's back as it would go. Before he dropped his knife he sliced the air, and the blade sliced some of the skin on my arm. I howled in pain and body slammed him. He shoved me against the wall and held my neck in his hand. His grip tightened and I felt my airways being crushed. My head ached and my eyes felt like they were bulging out of their sockets, like on those cartoons. Before I lost complete consciousness, I kneed him in the balls. He slackened his grip and I used all the energy I had left to get him off me and run like hell.

I managed to reach the living room before he caught up with me and knocked me down. I futilely tried to crawl away from the Reaper's soldier, come for my soul, but it was in vain. John had regained his knife and planned to use it on me, I just knew it. A hell of a way to go out. Sliced and diced to death in place of loved ones. Now that I think about it, I wouldn't have it any other way.


	24. Wounded

Nathan's POV

I woke up and showered quickly, before Jay could get in and use all the hot water up. China and I had planned to spend the day together, and then I was going to take her out for dinner. Who knows what we'd end up doing. I was just glad to be able to see her. We'd only been away a few days and I missed her like crazy. Once I was ready, I sent a quick text letting her know I was on my way to her house.

As I neared her house, I called her. She hadn't answered my text; maybe she was still asleep? As her phone went to voicemail, I pulled on to her street and looked for the small house that was becoming easy for me to recognize.

In front of her house, I saw that her truck was there, her mom's car was there, and a cop car was sitting in front of the gate. Why the fuck was a policeman here? Quickly, I hopped out of Jayne's car and walked up to the lawman's vehicle. He lazily looked at me and went back to his newspaper.

"Look, kid, I'm a little busy. What d'ya want?" He asked, not looking at me. Yeah, he sure looked busy.

"I wanna know why you're sitting outside my girlfriend's house." I said, getting annoyed.

"You're not gonna find her here." He said.

I looked at him puzzled. What the fuck did that mean?

"Guess you didn't know, did ya?" He said, finally looking at me. It felt weird, like he was debating if I would suddenly go psycho on him. I got this sick feeling in my gut. Something was definitely not right. China hadn't answered her phone, and there was a cop sitting in front of her house. No, please let her be all right.

"What d'ya mean?" I asked. My voice was stronger than I felt. The cop looked around, not wanting anyone else to know what he was going to tell me.

"Some' dickhead broke in last night; nearly killed the kid's mom. Messed your girlfriend up pretty bad."

I could barely believe what the man was saying. No, China could not be hurt. She'd already been through so much. No, just no!

On impulse, I placed my hands on the car's door, threateningly and stared the man down.

"You tell me where she is motherfucker!" I growled. I startled myself at how angry I sounded.

"Easy, kid. She's at the Martinsville Memorial." He said, trying to be in control.

Before he could say anything I ran back to Jayne's car and started it up. I flew down the road well over the speed limit, but I didn't care. I should have been there for her. She must've been so scared, not having anyone to protect her…

As I ran into the hospital, I searched the waiting area, desperate to find China. A kind nurse stopped my frantic running and asked me if I needed help. I told her my situation and she was able to point me in the right direction.

I walked through those weird double doors to the waiting area on the second floor and spotted her, dozing off in the seat. Sena was also asleep beside her. As I touched her shoulder, her eyes opened and she registered who I was. She grabbed me in a hug and buried her face in my chest. I kissed her quickly. The pain that was present in my chest eased some, knowing she was okay.

"Nath, what're you doing here?" She asked. Her voice was quiet, and I could tell how tired she was.

"I should be asking you the same thing! You scared the hell outta me!" I nearly yelled. She just didn't get how scared I was for her.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She yelled back at me. Tears dribbled down her cheeks and guilt washed over me. I should be trying to help her, not make her more upset.

I hugged her small form to me, and tried to find words to describe what I felt. "Babe, I'm sorry. It's just I didn't know what had happened to you. I tried texting you and calling you. And then when the cop told me what happened I thought I'd lost you."

She wiped away her tears and looked at me with those beautiful gray eyes. The action caused me to notice her arm. It was bandaged up pretty good and she cradled it against her. For a few moments, all I saw was red.

"Did that bastard do that to you?" I asked. She didn't look at me, but stared at the ground and tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear. I then saw the ring of black/blue bruises in the shape of a hand that she wore around her neck like a necklace. Gingerly, I lifted her chin so that I could get a better look at the damage. It looked like she'd been through hell and back.

"It's nothing." She mumbled quietly, removing my hand.

"'Nothing' my ass. Tell me exactly what happened." I wanted the utter truth.

"I was at home and I saw John go after mom. He stabbed her in the stomach and I told Sena and Gran to hide in the bedroom and then he came after us. If the cops hadn't got there in time, I'd be a goner." She said after a moment.

"I can't wait to get my hands on him." I growled. She placed her small hand on my leg.

"He can't hurt anyone anymore. He's dead. He wouldn't surrender and the cops had no choice but to shoot him." She said quietly. It didn't seem good enough to me. That bastard hurt the person I loved so much.

"What about your family?" I asked after moment. She looked at a stack of papers and turned to answer me.

"Mom's in surgery and they're running tests on Gran to make sure she's okay."

Just then a large black man, wearing a police uniform, walked in. His eyes settled on China, and Sena. He walked over to us.

"Miss Akers?" the man asked.

"Yes, is there something wrong, officer?"

"Is your mother yours and the kids' soul guardian?" She nodded.

"Yeah, there something wrong with that?"

"No ma'am, we just want to know where we'll be able to find you should something come up."

"She's staying with me." I said quickly, looking at the officer.

"The kid too?" He asked, skeptical. I nodded.

The man took down the information I gave him, and turned back to China.

"Will you need me for anything else? Like a court date or for testifying?" She asked.

The officer shook his head. "No. It's totally a cop related matter now. You shouldn't have anything to worry about."

The officer looked back at us. "Ma'am there actually is something…when was the last time you saw your cousin, Mrs. Hawks?"

"Um, a little over three weeks ago. Why?"

"We found her body in the bathtub of her house. Seems she slit her wrists and bled out."

China leaned her head against my shoulder, and I tossed my arm around hers, hugging her close to me.

"I'm sorry this all happened, ma'am." The officer said as he tipped his hat and left. I kissed my girlfriend's hair and promised to never let anything like that happen to her again. She shouldn't have to go to another funeral, so soon after she buried her own father.

China's POV

A hand on my shoulder made me jump in my seat. Had I dozed off? I looked back at the familiar face and couldn't stop myself from jumping into his arms, nearly knocking him down. Nathan held me close to him and kissed me quickly.

"Nath, what're you doing here?" I asked, not that I minded him being there. It just surprised me.

"I should ask you the same thing! You scared the hell outta me!" He exclaimed.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I raised my voice also, and felt fresh tears streak down my face. The waiting room began staring at us. Sena thankfully remained asleep in one of the chairs.

Nath saw how upset I was and hugged me. "Babe, I'm sorry. It's just I didn't know what had happened to you. I tried texting you and calling you. And then when the cop told me what happened I thought I'd lost you."

I wiped my eyes the best I could and faced him. He then noticed my arm. "Did that bastard do that to you?" He was keeping his anger in check, but inside he was boiling mad. I moved some of my hair behind my ear. That was a big mistake. He then saw the marks left on my neck from being choked. Gently he grasped my chin and forced me to look up so he could get a better look at the damage.

"It's nothing." I mumbled.

"'Nothing' my ass. Tell me exactly what happened." He commanded.

"I was at home and I saw John go after mom. He stabbed her in the stomach and I told Sena and Gran to hide in the bedroom and then he came after us. If the cops hadn't got there in time, I'd be a goner." I explained.

"I can't wait to get my hands on him." He muttered. I placed a hand on his leg.

"He can't hurt anyone anymore. He's dead. He wouldn't surrender and the cops had no choice but to shoot him." I said quietly. For some reason I felt so tired.

"What about your family?" He asked after moment. I looked at the stack of papers I had and turned to answer him.

"Mom's in surgery and they're running tests on Gran to make sure she's okay."

Just then a large black man, wearing a police uniform, walked in, scanning the room. His eyes settled on Nath, Sena, and me and he walked over to us.

"Miss Akers?" the man asked.

"Yes, is there something wrong, officer?"

"Is your mother yours and the kids' soul guardian?" I nodded.

"Yeah, there something wrong with that?"

"No ma'am, we just want to know where we'll be able to find you should something come up."

"She's staying with me." Nath said quickly, looking at the officer.

"The kid too?" He asked, skeptical. Nath nodded.

The man seemed satisfied and got down Nath's info on where he lived, etc.

"Will you need me for anything else? Like a court date or for testifying?" I asked.

The officer shook his head. "No. It's totally a cop related matter now. You shouldn't have anything to worry about."

The officer looked at me, seeming undecided about something. "Ma'am there actually is something…when was the last time you saw your cousin, Mrs. Hawks?"

"Um, a little over three weeks ago. Why?"

"We found her body in the bathtub of her house. Seems she slit her wrists and bled out."

I leaned my head against Nath's shoulder, and he tossed his arm around mine, hugging me close.

"I'm sorry this all happened, ma'am." The officer said as he tipped his hat and left.

I looked at the clock. It read noon Saturday. I remembered that Nath was supposed to come down and visit me today. Guess when he rode by my house, the cop told him what happened. It was supposed to be a fun day. It was supposed to be a day that I'd love remembering, not something from some horror film. I wished none of this shit had happened.

Nath tried getting me to leave and freshen up, but I couldn't. Mom was still in surgery and I wasn't going to move until I heard news on her condition, whether good or bad….

* * *

Nathan graciously helped pack Sena's stuff and mine and drove us to the hotel in Greensboro. Mom had made it through surgery fine and was in the recovery room when I left. The hospital was keeping Gran overnight then she was going to stay with her sister, Ann-Marie till things calmed back down.

"Babe, we're here." He said as he coasted into the parking lot of the hotel. I nodded and grabbed my "Guinness" bag and my little cousin while Nathan carried Sena's duffel bag and mine.

Once we reached the top floor, we walked in. The boys were sitting in the kitchen area, worked up and tense. Jayne was in there trying to calm them down. Several beer bottles were present on the counter, but not enough to alarm me, and Tom was smoking a cigarette. Nath took the bags and placed them in his room and I laid my sleeping cousin on the couch to continue sleeping. I prayed it was a dreamless sleep for her.

Tom and Jay came up to me and embraced me in hugs first.

"Nath told us what happened. We hope that motherfucker rots in hell for what he did." Tom said with quiet anger. I agreed with him and told him that when I go to hell for all the mistakes I've made, I'll be sure to make him pay dearly for nearly killing my mother and for laying a hand on an innocent child.

"How's the kid?" Max asked, handing me a beer. I readily accepted the beverage.

"Thanks." I said as I opened the bottle.

"No problem. Shit, after what happened, you deserve it."

I took a hearty swig of the cold beverage before setting it back on the counter.

"Sena seems to be taking things well. Hasn't really said much since it happened."

"Well, we're all here if you need us. I'm sure we can delay the tour a few weeks—."

"No! I don't want you canceling or delaying anything because of my fucked up family. I still want to go with you guys. Mom's gonna be in the hospital for at least a month with her injuries, and then physical therapy and Gran's staying with her sister." I said, effectively cutting Jayne off. I hadn't planned on being so assertive, but I'd be damned if I was gonna make the boys disappoint the fans because I couldn't get my shit together.

"What about your cousin?" Seev asked, also sipping a beer.

"Jax and Tara won't mind watching her. 'Sides, she'll already be in school by the time I get back." I told him.

"Babe, are you sure you can handle this? Being away for so long gets rough after a while." Nath asked, making sure I was committed to my decision.

"Yes, I'm sure. I've never been more sure of anything in my life." I told him.

**Here ya go! ;D Hope you guys enjoyed it... I thought this chapter was pretty weak, but I wrote the dialogue in the middle of the night when i couldn't sleep... What do you guys think? Again, thanks to all who've reviewed ^_^**


	25. Hanging On By A Thread

_My past has followed me and_  
_I just can't get away_  
_I'm not the same as I was_  
_Leaving my disarray_

_Take me just as I am_  
_(I'm broken down) (I'm calling out)_  
_Pull me into your arms_  
_(I'm hanging on, to every word)_  
_(I'm holding on, to every breath)_

_Save me from losing myself_  
_I'm hanging on by a thread_  
_Can you see who I am_  
_Underneath my scars_  
_I'm afraid to fall_  
_So I'm holding on to you_  
_No I won't let go_  
_I'm hanging on by a thread_

_I still can hardly believe_  
_The person I once was_  
_I'm trying so hard to change_  
_Help me work through my flaws_

_I'll never need_  
_I'll never want_  
_With you, with me_  
_I'm so complete_  
_I'll never run_  
_I'll never hide_  
_With you right here_  
_I'm safe inside_

After talking everything over with the boys, I went to lie down in Nath's room while he took a shower. It was almost midnight and I needed proper rest.

Sleep, however, would not come easily. My mind replayed everything and every time, my hand would reach out to grab a hold of Nathan. Whenever he touched me, he made me feel safe, and that's all I wanted right now; safety and security. Quietly, I made my way to the bathroom and slipped in unnoticed. The rest of the boys had given Sena a blanket and pillow to sleep with while she stayed here and made sure to stay by her in case she woke up, frightened, not knowing where she was. I heard the water pour down from the showerhead and I could just make Nath's figure out through the dark shower curtain. This was so stupid. Here I was, wanting to slip into the shower with him, like he did me when we first made our relationship public. I was scared though. What if he didn't want to deal with me right now? What if I was crowding him and he was just looking for some breathing room? I sighed silently and before I knew it, Nath had turned off the water. Shit! I turned as quickly as I could to leave, but a gentle hand grasped mine.

"Where d'ya think you're going?" Nath asked in a husky voice.

Before my insecurities could take a hold of me, I kissed him.

"I need you right now. You're the only thing keeping me sane." I said honestly.

"I need you all the time. You drive me insane." He whispered in my ear.

He kissed my neck lovingly and nipped at it sensually as he pushed me against the wall. I moaned in pleasure and felt my eyes roll back in my head.

Nathan broke from the kiss and stared at me. The hints of green in his eyes stood out even more than they had before. It was damn sexy if you ask me. He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear, and leaned in to whisper in my ear.

"Let's finish this in the bedroom. No one 'ill dare interrupt us there." Lust laced his voice like honey. He once more, kissed my neck. I absolutely loved the feel of his scruff tickling my neck and chin. It was fucking hot and turned me on so bad. I nodded and we both walked out of the bathroom and into his room.

Nath took his time locking the door and I took the liberty of taking my shirt off and having my jeans unbuttoned. I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around him as he finished locking us in.

He turned around and didn't waste any time pulling me close to him. He pressed himself against me and ran his hands down from my hair to my ass. His hands were so gentle, yet strong. I could honestly get lost in just the feeling of them touching me.

He laid me down on the bed once he had the condom on and hovered over me, placing sweet butterfly kisses all over my face and neck. Slowly, oh so slowly, he entered and the real pleasure began. He thrust slowly, making me go insane. I gripped his hair and moaned into his mouth, trying not to let the whole world know what we were doing. I met him thrust for thrust and each time he went deeper and deeper. In the words of some of my dirty minded friends, this was slow, baby-making love; without the baby making of course. He was oh so gentle as to not hurt my arm any more than it already was, and gently kissed the bruised skin on my neck. As I climaxed I swore vehemently and felt my body give way to the hot rush that shot me straight up into heaven. Nath's thrusts were quicker and deeper and soon he too succumbed to his climax. We continued making out after we were both spent. He stayed inside me as he grew soft. Whether rock hard or soft as fur, having Nath inside me felt nice. It felt like we were meant to be.

I sneaked off to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Of course, I was just in Nath's shirt and my underwear. I heard sounds coming from the TV in the sitting room and feared one of the boys were awake. The glow from the television illuminated the figures soundly asleep in front of it. Sena was curled up on one side with the blanket and pillow while Max was snoring on the other side. Tom and Jay were asleep in the floor in front of the couch and in their sleep they were fighting for the blanket. Siva was sleeping on the loveseat and Max's feet were nearly in his face. It was too damn funny. I quickly ran to the bathroom and did what I had to do then went back to the bedroom to grab my phone. I snapped a picture of the boys and my young cousin and tweeted it.

** SOA_angel_TW: Guess some people aren't meant to stay up late! TomtheWanted , JaytheWanted , MaxtheWanted , SivatheWanted and my lil cousin #crashed so cute! ;) **

I smiled as I sent the tweet and retreated back to the bedroom for the night. As I got comfortable, Nath tossed an arm around me and instantly I felt more at ease. Slowly my subconscious allowed me to drift off into unconsciousness…at least for a few hours.


	26. Welcome to Stardom

**Hope you guys enjoy :)**

Someone's small laugh and the smell of bacon woke me up the next morning. I got out of bed and rummaged through my bag for a pair of my basketball shorts. Once I put them on, I walked out into the open area of the suite. Max was cooking breakfast and Sena was chuckling at his and Tom's antics. Jay was sitting in front of her—oh God was he face painting her? She seemed to notice my presence for she turned and faced me. Her whole face was painted blue and had the markings of—

"China, Jay painted my face like a Avatar!" She exclaimed. I laughed at how hilarious she looked and took a picture of her.

"You've corrupted her, Jay!" I said in mock horror. He laughed and also took a picture of the seven year old.

"No, I've just introduced her to the best movie ever made." He amended. Sena hopped down from the barstool and hugged my waist.

"D'ya like it?" she asked, looking up at me.

I kissed her hair and nodded. "I love it baby."

"Maxi made breakfast too! He cooks really good!" She said, climbing back on the barstool and reached her hand into the bag of Skittles Jay offered to share with her. I raised my eyebrows at her nickname for Max, but kept quiet.

"Have you already eaten?" I asked. She nodded as she downed the candies.

Max then placed a plate of two pancakes and bacon on my plate. I thanked him and began scarfing down the delicious food.

"I piled extra bacon on the plate. From the sounds of it, Nath gave ya a work out last night." Max teased. I nearly choked on his cooking from bursting out laughing.

"Yeah, I mean look at her, she's practically glowing." Tom continued.

My face heated up, being guilty as charged. "Fuck you! How would you guys know 'less you were spying?" I roared with laughter.

The boys laughed at me and I tried to compose myself. Sena however made that nearly impossible.

"Is that why you were yelling at Nathan last night? You two were doing it?" She asked innocently.

Everyone paused in what they were doing to listen to what I was going to say to the child. Surely she didn't know about sex yet…did she?

"Did what?" I asked, praying she wasn't already educated in "the birds and the bees" department.

"You know…sex. That's how babies are made, right?"

Tom and Max left, claiming that they were going to be late if they didn't get dressed right that instant. Jay just looked at me then claimed there was something he wanted to watch on TV.

"And where'd you learn about sex from?" I asked, placing a hand on my hip.

"Daddy used to talk about it some, but momma helped me understand it. Whenever they'd start fighting, they'd end up in the bedroom screaming like you were last night." I furiously blushed at her words. I hadn't been that loud, had I?

I looked to Heaven, cursing my fate at having a sexually knowledgeable seven year old around.

"Well, that information stays between us, okay? When you go stay with Jax and Tara I don't want you talking about this stuff with them or the kids." I said.

She nodded her head, hopefully understanding why her knowing about sex needed to be kept under wraps.

"Now go wash that stuff of your face and get dressed." I told her.

Max, and Tom then peeped around the kitchen corner.

"It's safe to come in, boys." I told them. They came out of hiding and looked nervous.

"Smart kid." Tom commented.

I nodded. "A little too smart if you ask me."

Just then Nath walked out of the bedroom, looking so freaking hot in nothing but his boxers and some serious bed head. Yum.

"So that's where my shirt went?" He asked, seeing the top I was wearing.

"Well, I couldn't have come out here flashing my naked ass for everyone to see." I explained, cocking my hip to the side.

He chuckled as he wrapped me in a warm hug.

"No, that's only for me to see." He whispered before giving me a "good morning" kiss.

* * *

Sena, Nath, Jayne, and I all walked up to the nurses' station. They showed us where my mother was being kept and allowed us to see her. I walked in first, with Sena hot on my heels.

"Hay, momma." I said as I sat down in the chair beside the bed. She looked up at me and sat up. She grimaced in pain as she did so. This broke my heart.

"Hay baby."

"How you feeling?" I asked.

"Like a truck ran over me. No, if that happened I wouldn't feel anything. That'd be great." She pressed the button that would pump medicine into her IV and did her best to relax.

"I'm so sorry." I said, my voice cracking at the end.

"Don't feel sorry for me honey. How're you doing? Where's mom?"

"I'm okay. Sena and I stayed with Nathan last night and Gran's with Great-Aunt Marie-Ann." I told her. We both then remained silent.

"You really love that boy don't you?" She asked after a while. I nodded. I couldn't mask the feelings I had for the famous pop star.

"You're still going with him on tour aren't you?"

"Yeah, we're leaving Saturday." She nodded. "Please don't be mad though." I added quickly.

Mom smiled a half smile at me. "No, dear I'm not mad. You're a grown woman and you're starting to make your own choices. I respect that." She maneuvered to get more comfortable on the stiff mattress. "Besides, it'll do you good to get out of town for a while."

I looked at my mother, confused. Was she that ready to get rid of me? Or did she know something I didn't?

"Clay knows you're still pissed at him for what happened with…your father." She hesitated and looked to the door as if she feared who'd walk in the room next.

"What about Clay mom? I already knew he was mad at me for that."

"When I was staying with him, I found this…diary of sorts. He mentioned your father in several entries…about how to kill him."

"Why? Dad didn't do anything to Clay." I said, extremely lost.

"Clay's been popping off club members for years for petty shit, mainly trying to gain power and money for the club. Seems your father saw something he wasn't supposed to and ended up killed by the cartel to cover Clay's tracks."

"And now what? He thinks I'm on to him?" Mom nodded. I swallowed the lump in my throat and digested the facts.

"We're leaving Saturday morning, first thing. Friday night I'm taking Sena to Jax's. I'll call you once we land."

"Be safe okay?" Mom said, looking dead at me.

"I will." I said as I stood to leave the room.

"Baby," Mom called out to me. I turned around to face her.

"I love you."

"I love you too, mom. I'll talk to you later."

* * *

We boarded the plane to San Francisco Saturday morning around nine-thirty. Nath and I had the two-seat section on the left side of the plane; Max, Seev, and Tom sat in the triple seats in the middle section, while Jay and Jayne had the seats behind us. In no time the boys had the camera out and were filming everything that was going on. I wasn't too concerned with the information mom had given me about Clay. Jax had already known and planned to take care of things while I was away.

"I won't let him hurt you or anyone else I care about, Angel Eyes." He had said to me. I clingged to that promise as I grasped Nath's hand during takeoff.

He kissed me sweetly. "Welcome to stardom baby."


	27. Personal Soldier

_Left, left, left, right, left_  
_Left, left, left, right, left_

_Tell me what's going on_  
_I know there's something on your mind_  
_Can you just open up?_  
_Do you feel like I'm not somebody trying to hurt you?_  
_Know I'd never let that happen_  
_Must be out of their minds_

_Cause you are the sunshine that makes me day_  
_And I won't let them take that away, hey_

_I'll be your hero whose standing strong_  
_Who protects you from any fight_  
_And if your battles are piling on_  
_I will take them on with all my might_  
_Cry your tears on my shoulder_  
_You don't know what the future holds_  
_So I'll be your personal soldier_

_Left, left, left, right, left_  
_Left, left, left, right, left_

_If life is a battlefield, there's so many dangers_  
_Just when you think it's OK, it blows up in your face_  
_And when this road gets harder_  
_You think your luck's run out, _  
_I will find a reserve to take it right back_  
_To where your heart deserves_  
_Cause there is no way that I won't put you first _

_I'll be your hero whose standing strong_  
_Who protects you from any fight_  
_And if your battles are piling on_  
_I will take them on with all my might_  
_Cry your tears on my shoulder_  
_You don't know what the future holds_  
_So I'll be your personal soldier_

_I'll protect you girl, don't worry_

_I'll be your hero whose standing strong_  
_Who protects you from any fight_  
_And if your battles are piling on_  
_I will take them on with all my might_  
_Cry your tears on my shoulder_  
_You don't know what the future holds_  
_So I'll be your personal soldier_

_Left, left, left, right, left_

As the plane landed, I decided to be naughty and take out my phone and check my social media accounts. Of course, my Twitter was bogged down with people retweeting, replying, and favoriting my tweets. There was one that did catch my eye. It was a picture of me and Nathan asleep against each other in those cramped seats. I looked at the caption.

** TomtheWanted: Love's in the air! Let's get #Nina (sounds like nine-na) trending as a present for the cute couple! NathantheWanted SOA_angel_TW**

I saw that Max, Jay, and Seev had retweeted the picture of us and had effectively helped get the name trending worldwide.

** SOA_angel_TW: Very cute TomtheWanted. Jus when I needed another nickname :p #crazyass**

I put my phone away and as we came off the plane, I lightly slapped Tom in the back of the head.

"Really? Nina?" I said, joking.

"Hay, it was either that or Nathina."

"That sounds like something from a horror movie." I stated.

"Exactly. 'Sides, Nina's trending right now. It's cute."

"I like it. Thanks Tom." I smiled and handed the lady my boarding pass.

"See? I knew ya'd come around!" He cheered. I rolled my eyes. This was going to be a long, yet fun two months.

The next morning I crawled out of bed with a smile on my face. The boys and I had made it to San Francisco last night we're staying for a few days before moving on to Seattle, Washington. I looked out the window and was greeted by the warm sunlight. Being back on the West coast felt great. Staying on Fisherman's Warf, and being able to relieve the memories I had here felt even better. I'd missed being here ever since I'd visited with my Aunt when I was fourteen. Something about the atmosphere here felt so different than back home. The first thing I planned to do was go back and visit the Golden Gate Bridge and Alcatraz Island. Those sights had been the highlight of my stay here when I was younger, giving me such beautiful views of the Pacific Ocean. I also couldn't resist the eerie feeling the prison/island produced in me. It was like the spirits of the damned were still there, showing us what they went through.

I was so caught up in my thoughts, I hadn't realized that Nath had woken up until he snaked his arms around my waist. The scruff on his chin tickled as he kissed my cheek.

"Morning." He said quietly.

I smiled. "Morning."

"Lovely view isn't it?"

"Yes, it is. It's just as I remembered it. Beautiful."

He snuggled his head into the crook in my neck and kissed my shoulder. "Nothing's as beautiful as you."

I stared out at the street below us. "I love you, Nath. No matter what happens."

He turned me around to face him and he placed a gentle kiss on my lips. "I love you too, babe. Nothing's gonna come between us, ever."

I hugged him close, inhaling his scent, and holding him to his word. "Nothing's gonna come between us, ever."

I walked into the bathroom to get my hairbrush while Nathan was finishing up getting ready. Today we mostly had to ourselves, but around three o' clock we had to be at the Fox Theatre for sound check and rehearsals before the concert tonight. Honestly, I was looking forward to it since I've never been to one of the boys' concerts before. I'd seen a few on Youtube, but being there and watching them through a computer screen are two totally different things.

I glanced at Nath as he ran his electric shaver over his chin. I frowned slightly, and Nath noticed.

"What?" He chuckled.

"Nothing." I smiled innocently.

He cocked his eyebrows up and finished shaving. "Tell me."

I blushed and started back towards the bedroom. Nath stopped what he was doing and ran after me.

"Oh no you don't!" He called out as I tried to outrun him. He ended up pinning me down on the spare bed; my hands held above my head.

"Tell me." He repeated, slightly winded. I tried wiggling away from him but his grip was rigid.

I refused, and he gave me a devious smirk before tickling my sides. After a minute of pure tickling torture, I gave.

"All right! All right! I'll tell you!" His grip slackened somewhat and he listened to me.

"You don't know how fucking hot you look with your chin scruff. It turns me on so bad." I said honestly. I blushed like mad, but he just raised his eyebrows.

"Chin scruff? It turns you on, eh?"

I nodded. "Yeah it does," I purred in his ear. "In fact I'm turned on right now."

He wouldn't be able to lie if he said he wasn't turned on too. His erection was pressed fully against my thigh through his boxers. He pinned me back down on the bed and kissed me heatedly. He nipped my sweet spot on my neck and I wrapped my legs around his waist so he'd have better access. However, before we could do the deed, someone was at the door.

"Mate, are ya in there? The van's ready to go." Tom's voice called from the hallway.

Nath and I ceased our heated making out session and sighed. "Don't worry. I'm gonna finish you off right, when we get back tonight." He whispered in my ear before kissing my cheek. I blushed and smiled at his promise. He'd give me a night to remember…

* * *

By far, this had been a day to remember. The boys, Jayne, and I all had visited The Golden Gate Bridge and Alcatraz. While there, we had our pictures taken and instantly sent them to Twitter for the fans to see. Also, Jayne kept the camera on us the whole time. Who knows what antics she caught us doing.

"Good luck, babe." I said as I hugged Nath. He placed a sweet kiss on my lips and smiled. "Don't need it. I've got you." He replied, casting me a wink. My knees went slightly weak, but I wasn't going to fall. Damn, that boy and his irresistible charm. Tom then walked up with the other boys to me.

"Wish us luck, eh?" He said rather enthusiastically. I smiled and gave each band member a hug and a "good luck". They thanked me and went to face the crowd that awaited them. Guess it was time for me to take a seat.

Thanks to my status as Nathan Sykes' girlfriend, I was reserved a seat in the front row along with several fangirls. As the lights dimmed and the orchestra began playing, everyone began screaming. The boys walked up on stage. One by one they appeared to the audience, beginning with Nath and ending with Jay. The orchestra stopped and Max greeted the crowd. Three…Two…One… Instead of the orchestra playing, the boys' first hit single blared through the speakers. The boys each did a funny move before Max belted out the first lines of the song everyone knew so well.

"Hating won't do it, drinking won't do it. Fighting won't knock you out, of my head."

* * *

About half way through the show, Jay spoke to the audience. "Now, a lot of you know that baby Nath's got himself a girlfriend, right?" Everyone cheered and agreed that they knew about me. Oh God, what did that crazy, curly-haired fool have up his sleeve?

"Alright, well, here lately she's been through a rough spell. A lot have things have been going on and Nath, asked if we could do this song for her. Would that be alright?" The crowd cheered in an obvious "yes". Each of the boys lined up behind Nath as the lights dimmed and the spotlight settled on his form.

"This song's called 'Personal Soldier'." He said before the music started. I couldn't help but sit in my seat and squeal like a schoolgirl. As Nath belted out the first verse, he walked over to the section I was sitting in. Several girls around me, screamed, dreaming that the hunky pop star was singing to them. But I saw the wink he gave, just for me. I saw the way his eyes brightened when I formed a heart with my hands and mouthed, "I love you". Yeah, we may have been in a crowded theatre, but it felt like we were the only two people there.


	28. All About Us

_They say_  
_They don't trust_  
_You, me, we, us_  
_So we'll fall_  
_If we must_  
_Cause it's you, me_  
_And it's all about_  
_It's all about_

_It's all about us (all about us)_  
_It's all about_  
_All about us (all about us)_  
_There's a thing that they can't touch_  
_'Cause ya know (ah ah)_  
_It's all about us (all about us)_  
_It's all about_  
_All about us_  
_all about us_  
_We'll run away if we must_  
_'Cause ya know_  
_It's all about us (It's all about us)_  
_It's all about love (It's all about us)_  
_In you I can trust (It's all about us)_  
_It's all about us_

_If they hurt you_  
_They hurt me too_  
_So we'll rise up_  
_Won't stop_  
_And it's all about_  
_It's all about_

_It's all about us (all about us)_  
_It's all about_  
_All about us (all about us)_  
_There's a thing that they can't touch_  
_'Cause ya know (ah ah)_  
_It's all about us (all about us)_  
_It's all about_  
_All about us_  
_all about us_  
_We'll run away if we must_  
_'Cause ya know_  
_It's all about us (It's all about us)_  
_It's all about love (It's all about us)_  
_In you I can trust (It's all about us)_  
_It's all about us_

_They don't know_  
_They can't see_  
_Who we are_  
_Fear is the enemy_  
_Hold on tight_  
_Hold on to me_  
_'Cause tonight_

_It's all about us_  
_It's all about_  
_All about us_  
_There's a thing that they can't touch_  
_'Cause ya know (ah ah)_  
_It's all about us (all about us)_  
_It's all about us (all about us)_  
_It's all about_  
_All about us (all about us)_  
_There's a thing that they can't touch_  
_'Cause ya know (ah ah)_  
_It's all about us (all about us)_  
_All about us_  
_It's all about us (all about us)_  
_It's all about_  
_All about us (all about us)_  
_There's a thing that they can't touch_  
_'Cause ya know (ah ah)_  
_It's all about us (all about us)_

_It's all about us (all about us)_  
_It's all about_  
_All about us (all about us)_  
_We'll run away if we must_  
_'Cause ya know (ah ah)_  
_It's all about us (all about us)_  
_It's all about_  
_All about us (all about us)_  
_We'll run away if we must_  
_'Cause ya know (ah ah)_  
_It's all about us (all about us)_

_It's all about us (It's all about us)_  
_It's all about love (It's all about us)_  
_In you I can trust (It's all about us)_

_It's all about us_

When we got back from the concert, I sat on the bed and kicked of my damned shoes. Nath sat on the bed with me and started massaging my shoulders. I felt myself relax and leaned against him, thankful for his support. He really was becoming the only stable thing in my life right now.

"You did great tonight. Killer." I told him. He smiled and kissed me.

"You make it worth it, babe." He purred. Damn, his voice was seriously sexy.

Before long, both of us were topless and I was in the process of having my jeans removed.

"I promised I'd do you good." He growled sexually.

"Oh yeah?" I breathed out. "You better show me a good time Sykes."

Nath smirked as he planted loving kisses along my neck and collarbone. "I plan to, Akers."

*****Time Lapse: 2 Months*****

"_Dear Diary:_

_Today's the day I am flying back home to Virginia. Yes, I'm not happy about it, and neither is Nath, but it's for the best. I talked to mom on the phone a few times and she's doing okay. She's still going to physical therapy, but only once a week. Sena started school and loves it so much. She's a bright kid. I hope she'll do something great one day. I don't want to leave Nath and the boys; I've had such a great time. But I do miss home. I miss my mother, and little cousin. I miss my two best friends. I miss the long walks we would take when one of us was having a bad day. Damn, I just miss them period. Nath and I talked about what would happen to us once the tour was over. He suggested I move with him to Gloucester. I'm not sure if I can though. What about my family? I'd hardly ever see them. He promised I could see them whenever I wanted to, but we'll see. Six months is a long time and a lot can happen. Hell, a lot happened to me in under a week. I've also been talking to Jax and Tara. Clay's suspiciously gone "missing". I think Jax killed him, or at least hired someone to kill him. I'm thankful though. Clay had it out for my family ever since my father died. Gemma's also happy about him being gone, but she'd never admit it. I look forward to getting some much-needed sleep tonight, once I'm back in my own bed. I'll write some more later, but right now the stewardess is being a right bitch, trying to find out what I'm writing._

_-Signed, China. " _

Just then my phone vibrated. Tom had sent me a picture message of all the boys holding up a sign saying, "We miss you". I replied saying that I missed them too. Boy did I. In the pic, Tom was holding on to Kelsey his girlfriend. You could tell she'd gained a little weight, but no one would have been able to tell she was pregnant. Yes, Tom and Kels had gotten back together. I smiled at the memory of helping bring the adorable couple back into each other's arms….

* * *

_The boys finished singing "Lightning" and Max began speaking to the crowd here in Toronto. _

"_Now, we all now you've heard that poor Tom here, broke up with his girlfriend a few months back." The audience responded, and Nath began speaking. _

"Well, Tom, as your friends who hate seeing you so glum, we'd like to give you…a pick me up."

Tom looked at his friends, like "What the actual fuck are you doing?" and raised his hands as if declining their offer.

_Nath spoke again and looked at me. "Babe, bring her out." _

_I took Kelsey's hand and together we walked forward into Tom's view. Kelsey had finally come around to the fact that Tom wasn't quitting the band, and wanted to surprise him by showing up at a concert. She still wasn't quite ready to tell him about her pregnancy, but she was willing to give her and Tom's relationship another shot. _

_When Tom spotted Kelsey, I could have sworn he'd lose it. Kelsey released my hand and ran to her sweetheart, who held his hands open for her. I walked over to Nath and he kissed my hair as he hugged me. When I looked back at the reunited couple, tears were streaming down Tom's scruffy face. I smiled and watched the two embrace and even share a special kiss together. Cheers could be heard from the crowd. _

"_TOM AND KELSEY! TOM AND KELSEY!"_

_They kissed one final time before they released each other and I took that as my cue to get off the stage. _

"_I love you." I whispered to Nath. He smiled and kissed me sweetly. "Always will babe."_

* * *

I sighed and looked out the window. We were less than five minutes from Martinsville. Supposedly Jax would be waiting for me in my truck. Damn I missed my sleek, black baby. Yeah, I loved my truck.

As I gathered my luggage and walked off the plane, I saw Jax standing in the crowd, holding a sign with my name on it. Before I could make my way over to him, a young girl and her mother walked up to me.

"You're China Akers, right?" The girl asked. She looked really adorable in her orange hoodie and sleek black hair. I nodded, and if possible, the girl looked even more adorable as she did this excited face.

"Can I get a picture with you? It'd make my day!"

"Of course you can, sweetie." I told her. Soon both of us posed for her mother and had two or three photos taken.

"You're so lucky to be dating Nathan Sykes!" She squealed. I chuckled.

"I guess I am. He really is a sweetheart."

The girl's mother apparently was getting tired of waiting for her daughter and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Come on, Ellie. I'm sure China's got somewhere to be."

I hugged the little girl goodbye and made my way over to Jax before anyone else noticed I was here. Damn, it still surprised me how famous I had become just by being Nath's girlfriend.

Jax smiled as I came up to him, and he swung me around in a massive hug. "Welcome home Angel Eyes."


	29. Back To Reality, Oh There Goes Gravity

**Well, guys here it is :) Another chapter! Yeah, I'm not real thrilled about it since i felt I wrote while feeling depressed about a lot of things going on here at home. As always, though, I'll let you be the judge of that ^_^**

**Happy reading...**

_Hey Miss Murder can I?_  
_Hey Miss Murder can I?_  
_Make beauty stay if I,_  
_Take my life?_

_Whoa-oh-ohh_

_With just a look they shook_  
_And heavens bowed before him._  
_Simply a look can break your heart._  
_The stars that pierce the sky;_  
_He left them all behind._  
_We're left to wonder why_  
_He left us all behind._

_Hey Miss Murder can I?_  
_Hey Miss Murder can I?_  
_Make beauty stay if I,_  
_Take my life?_  
_Whoa-oh-ohh_  
_(ohh)_

_Dreams of his crash won't pass_  
_Oh, how they all adored him_  
_Beauty will last when spiraled down._  
_The stars that mystify_  
_He left them all behind._  
_And how his children cried_  
_He left us all behind._

_Hey Miss Murder can I?_  
_Hey Miss Murder can I?_  
_Make beauty stay if I,_  
_Take my life?_  
_Whoa-oh-ohh_

_What's the hook, the twist_  
_Within this verbose mystery?_  
_I would gladly bet my life upon it._  
_That the ghost you love, your ray of light_  
_Will fizzle out without hope._  
_We're the empty set just floating through, wrapped in skin_  
_Ever searching for what we were promised._  
_Reaching for that golden ring we'd never let go,_  
_but who would ever let us put put our filthy hands upon it?_

_Hey Miss Murder can I?_  
_Hey Miss Murder can I?_  
_Make beauty stay if I,_  
_Take my life?_  
_Whoa-oh-ohh_

_Hey Miss Murder can I?_  
_Hey Miss Murder can I?_  
_Make beauty stay if I,_  
_Take my life?_  
_Whoa-oh-ohh_

Jax picked up his motorcycle after he dropped me off at my house. Mom, Sena, and my friend Audrey were all there, welcoming me home. I smiled and hugged everyone. It was nice to be back in a familiar place.

My phone ringing woke me up the next day. Before it went to voicemail, I answered it.

" 'Ello?" I asked, still groggy from sleep.

"Hay, girl!" The recognizable voice of my best friend Autumn chirped. I tried to sound halfway awake, but was failing miserably.

"Hay." I said, before yawning.

"So what's up? You like being back home?" She asked.

I fell back on my pillow and closed my eyes. "Yeah, jet lag's a bitch though."

My friend chuckled at me. "Well, I miss you! We should hang out sometime today."

I looked at the clock on the wall. It was after three in the afternoon. "How bout we meet up at the park in a half hour? That'll give me time to get some clothes on."

"Okay, that'll work. I'll meet ya there." She said. I could tell she was smiling.

After I hung up the phone, I crawled out of bed and put on some clothes and brushed through my hair before I told mom where I was going. She bid me goodbye and I walked down the street to meet my friend.

I walked to the park and found my friend sitting on the swings next to the slide. Before I could sit down, Autumn jumped up and embraced me in a sisterly hug.

"Dammit! I've missed you like crazy sis!" She squealed. I smiled and we both took a seat on the swing set.

"So tell me, what was it like traveling with The Wanted?" She asked, looking right at me. I smiled and pulled out my phone, showing her the many pictures I had with the band and I began telling her the stories that went behind several of them. I also showed her the pictures that the boys had mentioned me in on Twitter. She smiled and once I was finished, she showed me the pictures she had taken of her, her family, and her boyfriend.

"So how'd you get out of college today?" I asked. Autumn was finishing up her second year at the community college while her boyfriend; Justin was getting his CDL to be a truck driver.

"Teacher work day. Man, I just wish June would hurry up and get here." I agreed with her as a gust of cool October wind blew, effectively producing a shiver along my spine.

Autumn then lifted her phone up to respond to a message. That's when I saw it.

"Well, that's new." I pointed to the tiny, diamond ring on her left hand. She smiled, blushed and held it out for me to get a better look at it.

"Yeah Justin gave it to me three weeks ago."

"So, it's official? You're engaged?" I blinked.

She nodded.

"Have you set a date yet?" I asked.

"No, not yet. Maybe sometime after I graduate and he gets a steady job somewhere." She explained.

I gave her a quick hug and smiled. "Well, I'm happy for you."

She smiled and daintily moved a piece of hair behind her ear. "Thanks. Wish I could say the same for mom and dad though."

I didn't need to ask any questions with that statement. Autumn's parents had been pretty much against her and Justin dating from the get-go. Now that they were engaged, I guessed they really disapproved.

"What'd they say when you told them?" I asked.

She kicked some dirt with her shoe and stared at the ground. "They got pissed. Said I was making the biggest mistake of my life and that our kids would be nothing but whores and inbred, white trash."

"Damn, I'm sorry sis." I told her sincerely.

She sighed and started swinging slightly. "It'll be okay. Right now, till we can find a place to live, we're staying with Justin's mom. She really likes me and even offered to help plan the wedding."

"Well, that's good. Don't worry about your parents. They'll come around someday." I told her.

"I hope so."

Two weeks—two weeks was how long it took me to land a job working across the street at the gift shop. By this point, I didn't care if I was working some dead end job at a fast food joint or on my way to becoming a millionaire. Money was money, and I needed some to help mom pay the bills. Thanks to Jayne, I'd been able to talk to a publisher while on the road, and he agreed to look at my story. The only thing I was doing now was waiting for a call saying it was worth investing time and effort into to sell it to the public. I doubted I'd be lucky enough to receive that call…

As I opened up the store for Helen, the store manager, my stomach started cramping something awful. Fuck, I wasn't due for my period yet was I? Quickly I reached in my purse and grabbed a few Ibuprofens and downed them with some water. After a few minutes, the cramping subsided. Guess my period was going to make its appearance within the week. Just lovely.

As the day progressed I grew more and more fatigued. Probably was still slightly jet lagged from all the traveling I had done the past few months.

Before I knew it, my shift was over and I clocked out. I helped Helen close things up and traveled the short distance to my house where I effectively crashed on my bed. It felt good just to pass out for a while after a long day's work.

***Time Lapse: Two Weeks***

Things are going pretty well to say the least. I love my job. It pays well and Helen is a great boss, and loves having me work for her. Nath, as well as the rest of the boys, have been keeping in touch with me a lot. Just last night I had a three-hour skype chat with Nath, Tom, and Jay followed by another hour of texting Nathan before I went to bed. Helen knew about the boys and would often let me talk to them while I was on break.

As I helped Helen close up the shop, a wave of nausea settled in my stomach. As the bile in my throat rose, I ran to the bathroom and emptied my stomach of everything I'd eaten in the last forty-eight hours. Helen followed me into the bathroom and asked me if I was okay. I assured her I was. It'd been happening quite a bit lately; the sickness. I hadn't been able to keep much down and I was throwing up a lot. I figured I'd caught some stomach virus and it was just running its course.

"I think you ought to go home. Some rest might do you some good." She said in an almost motherly tone. I shook off her concern and tried to stand.

"I'm fine. It's just a virus. No big deal." I told her.

She wasn't buying it. I needed her to, though. I had to work. Mom and I together were just making ends meet. The club gave us a pension every month, but it didn't cover half the bills that we had accumulated.

"I'm not docking your pay for however long you're sick, China. You came in and worked, but I want you to go home and rest so you can get better sooner." She explained. A weight lifted itself off my shoulders and I gave my boss a small smile.

"Thank you." I said as I grabbed my things and made my way to my truck.

As I hopped in my truck and started it up, my phone vibrated. Mom had sent me a text asking me to pick up some stuff for dinner on my way home. I replied to her message and started off down the road to the grocery store.


	30. 45

_Send away for a priceless gift_  
_One not subtle, one not on the list_  
_Send away for a perfect world_  
_One not simply, so absurd_  
_In these times of doing what you're told_  
_You keep these feelings, no one knows_

_What ever happened to the young man's heart_  
_Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart_

_And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45_  
_Swimming through the ashes of another life_  
_No real reason to accept the way things have changed_  
_Staring down the barrel of a 45_

_Send a message to the unborn child_  
_Keep your eyes open for a while_  
_In a box high up on the shelf_  
_Left for you, no one else_  
_There's a piece of a puzzle known as life_  
_Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight_

_What ever happened to the young man's heart_  
_Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart_

_And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45_  
_Swimming through the ashes of another life_  
_No real reason to accept the way things have changed_  
_Staring down the barrel of a 45_

_Everyone's pointing their fingers_  
_Always condemning me_  
_Nobody knows what I believe_  
_I believe_

_And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45_  
_Swimming through the ashes of another life_  
_No real reason to accept the way things have changed_  
_Staring down the barrel of a 45_

_And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45_  
_And I'm swimming through the ashes of another life_  
_There is no real reason to accept the way things have changed_  
_Staring down the barrel of a 45, 45_  
_Staring down the barrel of a 45_

"Is this it for you?" asked the cashier. I had grabbed a pack of frozen chicken patties, a pack of hamburger buns, and a thing of canned corn. I couldn't stand to be around any of the fresh meats or anything else that I could smell. It just made me want to throw up.

"Yeah." I said quietly. My head was killing me and the sounds that the machine made as the lady rang up the items made it hurt worse.

I happened to glance over at the next checkout line and noticed a woman, maybe about twenty or so, holding her small child in her arms. I smiled at the picture, but something started nagging me. I scanned the shelf along the check out line I was in, and found what I was looking for. The lady looked at me as I handed her the item, probably judging me, and asked me if I was sure I wanted it. I nodded and she placed it in the bag. I paid her in full and exited the store as quickly as I could. I might know why I was so ill, but I still needed to see it "written out" if you will before I'd believe it.

* * *

I placed all the groceries in the freezer when I arrived home and took my package with me to the bathroom. I read the instructions a full three times to make sure I was doing this right. I sat on the toilet, a nervous wreck, as I waited for my results. It said it'd take up to three minutes for it to show up.

After the allotted time had passed, I looked down, and a tiny pink sign appeared on the slide. My eyes focused on it, and it read positive. My face heated up and I looked at the box, but I knew what it meant. I had a sneaking suspicion that I was, but now I was 90% certain I was pregnant. And there was no doubt about whose child I might be carrying.

A million thoughts ran through my head. Nathan needed to know. What would he say? We had talked about kids before, and he had said he'd love being a daddy one day. I don't think he'd planned on being one so soon though. A tiny smile appeared on my face and I touched my stomach. No, I couldn't feel the baby yet, but I couldn't help but feel love for it. I was carrying a mini Nathan or me in my tummy. It almost seemed surreal. Instantly, I began worrying. Was the baby okay? Was it developing normally? I hadn't had any prenatal care and I definitely hadn't been putting the best substances into my body. The legal aged guys had sneaked Nath and I the occasional alcoholic beverages while on tour and I'd also occasionally bummed a smoke off Tom or Max. I hadn't gotten shit faced, but I'd drunk enough to be concerned for my child's safety. I was anywhere between two and three months along if I calculated right. The first trimester was the most crucial, and to be honest I felt scared that all the stress on my body was going to cause me to miscarry, if I hadn't already. I ran to the kitchen and dialed the number to the doctor my cousin had seen when she was pregnant.

"Hello, Doctor McLeod's office, how may I help you?" A receptionist asked. I bit my lip and went through with the call.

"Yes, I'd like to make an appointment." I said, nervous.

"May I ask what for?"

"I-I'm pregnant. At least, I think I am." I stuttered.

"Have you taken a pregnancy test?" She asked.

"Yes, I just did. It showed up positive."

"Okay, when was the last time you had a menstrual cycle?"

"Almost…three months ago."

"Last time you had sexual intercourse?"

"Four or five weeks ago… I'm not a hundred percent sure."

The lady then proceeded to give me the time and date of my appointment before we hung up. I felt happy tears form at the edges of my eyes. I just couldn't get over the fact that I was carrying Nath's child.

"You're pregnant huh?" A cool voice asked. I turned around and faced my mother as she leaned against the wall. Fucking shit. I must not have heard her walk in.

All I could do was look at the floor guiltily and nod my head.

"Nathan the father?" She asked. Again, I nodded.

"Does he know?"

"No." I mumbled.

"Good. When's your appointment?"

I handed her the slip of paper that I wrote the date and time on.

"Tomorrow I'll call them back and tell them to cancel it. I'm taking you to an abortion clinic after I get off work." She said calmly.

"What? No!" I nearly yelled. My voice went up several octaves in surprise. "Mom, you're normally against abortion!"

"Honey, I just don't think now is the right time for you to be raising a child. You're barely an adult now."

"Mom, it's as much Nath's as it is mine. I'm not giving up his kid." I said. A few tears fell from my face.

"Honey, you said it yourself, he's going to be touring a lot, leaving you to rear the kid by yourself. You really think you can handle that?" She nagged on. I get why she was so concerned, but really? Abortion? To me that was too extreme.

"Fuck you mom." I blurted out. I was getting tired of mom wanting to kill my unborn child.

In a split second, I felt the stinging imprint of mom's hand on my cheek.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that!" She yelled. I cupped my cheek, angry as a hornet.

"Maybe I wouldn't have to if you'd just listen to me every once in a while!" I screamed.

Mom's eyes blazed with anger. "I listen to you plenty! And don't you think for a second, that bastard child's gonna be raised in my house!"

I shoved past her and walked towards the downstairs portion of the house; my bedroom.

"Where're you going? Don't you walk away from me!" Mom yelled again. I'm sure Sena was wondering what was wrong.

"You said you didn't want this bastard child in your house. Well, I'm gone. Problem solved." I said, looking straight at her. Her face fell slightly, but I didn't really care. This was mine and Nath's child; not hers. Who was she to force an abortion on me? I don't think so. Quickly, I walked downstairs to my room. If she didn't want my child in her house, then I'd leave tonight. I didn't need this bullshit.

* * *

"China, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Sena's small voice asked me. I did my best to stem the tears as I answered my young cousin.

"Nothing, baby. I've just got to go stay somewhere for a while, okay?"

"But I'll miss you, China. I don't like it when you leave." She pleaded.

I hugged her close and sat with her on my bed. "I know baby, but me and Aunt Carol are fighting. It's best if I leave and we both calm down."

"Please come back when you're not mad anymore, okay?" She asked, hugging my neck.

"I will one day, I promise."


	31. What A Shame

_Two packs of cigarettes a day_  
_The strongest whiskey Kentucky can make_  
_That's a recipe to put a vagabond_  
_On his hands and knees_

_I watched it all up close_  
_I knew him more than most_  
_I saw a side of him he never showed_  
_Full of sympathy for a world that wouldn't let him be_

_That's the man he was_  
_Have you heard enough?_

_What a shame, what a shame_  
_To judge a life that you can't change_  
_The choir sings, the church bells ring_  
_So won't you give this man his wings?_  
_What a shame to have to beg you to_  
_See we're not all the same, what a shame_

_There's a hard life for every silver spoon_  
_There's a touch of gray for every shade of blue_  
_That's the way that I see life_  
_If there was nothing wrong then there'd be nothing right_

_And for this working man_  
_They say could barely stand_  
_There's gotta be a better place to land_  
_Some kind of remedy for a world that wouldn't let him be__  
_

_That's the man he was_  
_Have you heard enough?_

_What a shame, what a shame_  
_To judge a life that you can't change_  
_The choir sings, the church bells ring_  
_So won't you give this man his wings?_  
_What a shame to have to beg you to_  
_See we're not all the same, what a shame_

_God forgive the hands that laid you down_  
_They never knew how_  
_But your broken heart can break the sound_  
_And change the seasons_

_Now the leaves are falling faster_  
_Happily ever after_  
_You gave me hope through your endeavors_  
_And now you will live forever_

_What a shame, what a shame_  
_To judge a life that you can't change_  
_The choir sings, the church bells ring_  
_So won't you give this man his wings?_  
_What a shame to have to beg you to_  
_See we're not all the same, what a shame_

_What a shame, what a shame_  
_'Cause we're not all the same_  
_What a shame, what a shame_  
_'Cause we're not all the same_

A few hours later I packed my bags and tossed them in the bed of my truck. As I sat in the driver's seat, I really thought about my options. I needed to find a place to stay soon. I knew I couldn't stay with Autumn, or many of my other friends. As I went through the list of my friends, I thought about Audrey's. Yeah, her family was still dealing with some shit, but if anyone would take me in, it'd be her family. I started the vehicle up and drove to the next street over, where I'd find my friend's large brick house.

Charlie was sitting on the front porch when I pulled up. He smiled at me and asked me what was up. He wasn't used to seeing me here so late at night. He led me inside and I went into the kitchen, where Leigh and Audrey were sitting at the table. They greeted me and asked why I was here so late. Now, I was nervous. I hated asking people for help. It made me feel so weak.

"Mom kinda…kicked me out. And I was wondering…if it wasn't too much trouble…"

"Of course you can stay with us hun! We've got a spare room next to Audrey's room." Leigh said enthusiastically. I cast her a small smile and continued to wring my hands together.

"There's something else… I-I'm pregnant." I told them. Shock set in each of their faces and I waited for them to speak.

Audrey shot up out of her seat and embraced me in a hug.

"Congratulations sweetie!" Leigh said, stubbing out her cigarette before hugging me also.

"Do you need anything?" Audrey asked. I shook my head.

"Packed my things 'fore I left."

"So how far along are you?" Leigh asked.

I smiled. "Maybe three months. Not really sure."

"Well, we need to make you a doctor's appointment and make sure everything's okay with the baby."

"I already made an appointment for next week. Mom heard me talking to the receptionist and we got in a huge fight." I paused and the harsh words mom said wracked through my brain. "She called it a bastard. Said I wasn't raising a bastard child in her house." Tears fell from my face. Hard to believe I was already attached to this tiny life.

"I'm sorry, baby. Look, Charlie will help you get your things while I make us a cup of coffee. Then we'll worry about all this, okay?"

I wiped my eyes and nodded. Charlie stood up with me and we walked outside to gather my stuff.

"Don't cry Tokyo. I'm sure the kid won't look half as ugly as you." He teased.

I chuckled and rolled my eyes. "Fuck you Charlie."

He stopped me from what I was doing and hugged me tight. "It'll be okay. I promise."

I breathed in the scent of his cologne. It definitely smelled like the woods. Right now, it was comforting being held by him. Charlie had acted like an older brother to me when we were in school and he continued to do so now.

After our sibling/friend moment we took my things to the spare room in the downstairs portion next to Audrey's room. Leigh, Audrey, and I all began discussing how we'd make things work, housing a pregnant girl and making sure the baby was okay. Yeah this was going to be a long night…

* * *

The next morning I awoke, smelling bacon frying, and shot straight to the bathroom.

"Damn morning sickness." I mumbled weakly. What a way to start the day, with the taste of vomit in the back of your throat.

Once I'd finished emptying my stomach, I joined Leigh and Audrey in the kitchen. The smell of bacon was nauseating, yet I felt bad because it was one of my favorite foods.

"Morning." Leigh greeted, handing me a couple of pills and a glass of water. "Take these. They'll help you. Lord knows they helped me when I was pregnant with these two." She said, indicating Charlie and Audrey.

Cautiously, I took the pills and sat at the table.

"We're taking Charlie to Giles County to see his girlfriend after we eat. If you wanna, you can come with us. Hell, we'll make it a girls' day out. Hot Topic's got some new stuff we've got to have." Audrey said as she finished her glass of Orange Juice. I smiled. A day out might just do me good.

.

I threw the few shopping bags I had on the floor and collapsed on my bed. the door connecting mine and Audrey's room opened and my raven haired friend joined me.

"Watcha doing?" She asked.

I smiled and rolled over to face her. "Thinking bout calling Nath. I miss him."

We sat in silence for a moment as I pulled out my phone to text my boyfriend.

"You gonna tell him bout the baby?"

I paused in my movements, unsure of how to answer her.

"I don't know. What if he's not ready for a kid yet? I don't want him to feel like I forced this on him."

Audrey placed a hand on my shoulder. "Just promise me you'll tell him. Mom never told dad about me, and well things didn't turn out so well between them."

I nodded. "I will. Once the band's done touring I'll tell him."

She seemed satisfied and left the room as I answered Nath's call.

"Hay babe."

***Time Lapse: One Week***

"I feel like a whore." I told Audrey as we walked outside to my truck. My friend scoffed and hopped up in the driver's seat.

"Just shut up and get in the truck. We're getting us some damn food. Fuck what them bitches think of us."

Finally, I complied and climbed up in the passenger's seat as my crazy ass friend fired the vehicle up.

Once we'd gotten to KFC and ordered our food, I began laughing.

"What's so funny?" Audrey asked as we sat down in one of the empty booths.

I shook my head and smiled tiredly as we separated what I had ordered from what she had ordered.

"Here we are at three-thirty in the fucking morning at KFC, eating fattening food in our pajamas." Audrey joined me in laughing at how ridiculous we looked. I couldn't help it though. For the past few days I'd been craving fried chicken and biscuits from here and now I was finally getting it. I savored the buttery flavor of the fresh biscuit I was eating and downed it with a bite of popcorn chicken.

As we continued eating, we made small talk, mainly about the baby and my doctor's appointment the following morning. My mom had only contacted me once since our spat after I found out I was pregnant. She again tried to get me to reconsider getting an abortion, but I told her I couldn't, I was already falling in love with my unborn child. She then tried to place a guilt trip on me by saying that Sena missed me and that if I had an abortion, I could come back home and try again in a few years if I was serious about having kids. I'd told her off and haven't heard from her since.

Once we'd finished eating, we drove back home and started a late night/early morning movie marathon. Before long, I began falling asleep to Michael Myers' theme song and texting the love of my life…


	32. Invisible

_You're broken down inside_  
_But won't give up the fight_  
_These empty eyes I see_  
_Are staring back at me_  
_If you pull me out_  
_I won't let you down_

_Invisible_  
_You're beautiful_  
_Walking through this world_  
_We call our home_  
_Invisible_  
_Won't let you go_  
_Now I know I'm starting to feel you_

_My failure makes me hate_  
_Am I already late_  
_And everyday I crave_  
_The touch of your embrace_  
_But now I see_  
_What you mean to me_

_Invisible_  
_You're beautiful_  
_Walking through this world_  
_We call our home_  
_Invisible_  
_Won't let you go_  
_Now I know I'm starting to feel you_

_Invisible_  
_You're beautiful_  
_I wanna take all of you_  
_Invisible_  
_You're beautiful_  
_Invisible_  
_Just like me_

_Invisible_  
_You're beautiful_  
_Walking through this world_  
_We call our home_  
_Invisible_  
_Won't let you go_  
_Now I know I'm starting to feel you_

_Invisible_  
_You're beautiful_  
_Walking through this world_  
_We call our home_  
_Invisible_  
_Won't let you go_  
_Now I know I'm starting to feel you_

_Invisible_  
_You're beautiful_  
_Invisible_  
_You're beautiful_

Around nine am the next morning, Leigh woke Audrey and I up to get ready for my doctor's appointment. Begrudgingly we dressed and hopped in Leigh's car, making our way down the highway.

"Name?" asked the receptionist. I did my beset to smile and answered.

"China Lynn Akers. I'm here to see Dr. McLeod."

She looked at her computer screen and nodded before showing me to the open examination room. While in there waiting to see the doctor, a nurse came in and asked me how I was feeling and checked my vitals. She then handed me a pregnancy test and took me to the bathroom.

After I'd finished taking the pregnancy test, I was escorted back to the examination room where I was left to absolutely loose my mind (pardon the pun) waiting on the damn doctor who apparently was taking his sweet ass time getting to me.

For ages is seemed, I sat there in that room waiting for someone, anyone to walk in. as I began seeing patterns on the solid colored walls, an older man in a white doctors' coat came into the room. "Miss Akers?" he asked in a diluted Indian accent.

"Yes?" I responded.

"I'm Dr. McLeod. How're we feeling?"

I rubbed my arm subconsciously. "Good I guess. Like I told the nurse, I'm not getting sick as much, but I'm craving all kids of weird stuff."

He chuckled as he instructed me to lie back on the table. I did so and felt his hands begin gently prodding my stomach.

"That's quite normal. I'd be more worried if you didn't have any cravings."

Once he finished feeling around for the baby, he scribbled something down on his clipboard and I sat up.

"Well, there's no denying that you are indeed pregnant. Congratulations."

I sighed. I pretty much knew that already. "Thanks. How far along am I?"

He scanned his chart before answering me. "Roughly three, going on four months."

My eyes widened slightly. Was the baby developing all right? "Erm, doc, I haven't exactly been—putting the best things in my body…"

He looked at me with critical eyes. "What substances are we talking about?"

"Erm, alcohol and I used to smoke cigarettes too. I quit last month though."

He placed a hand under his chin and began stroking his tamed white beard.

"There's no way to know for certain if those substances harmed it until we get you an ultrasound."

"Can you do it today? Please?" I begged. "Please, I have to know if my baby's okay."

"There are the feet and the little hands. The body's developing nicely." The RN smiled as she ran the instrument along me stomach. A rush of relief washed over me. The baby seemed to be okay.

"Congratulations, sweetie!" Leigh said as she kissed my forehead. I acknowledged her, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the screen. You could just make out the image of a mass moving slightly in my womb. That was my child in my body. My child that would one day call me 'momma'. My child that Nath and me conceived out of love.

"My baby." I called out happily. It was all surreal.

I walked back to my bedroom, feeling euphoric. My baby was growing healthily and it really started hitting me that Nath and I would be parents. I collapsed on the bed and stroked my tummy lovingly as I slowly drifted to sleep.

**Hi guys! I'm so sorry that this chapter's shit and short, but I've had a serious case of writers block and I've been busy with work and school. Also I've been having a lot of guy problems :/ But as always, I love reviews! :) xx**

**~AnGeLs and DaEmOns~**


	33. Already Home

_The trouble with truth is it never lies,_  
_and the trouble with wrong that its never right,_  
_so I rest my head onto your light._

_The trouble with peace is it never fights,_  
_and the trouble with love that its always blind._  
_I want to walk to the edge of it tonight, and I fall down._

_I'm on my knees cause your everthing I need,_  
_and I've made a mess of myself on my own._  
_Well I am on my face and I'm calling out your name,_  
_and I won't runaway cause I'm already home._

_The trouble with tears is that they dry,_  
_and the trouble with faith made me wanna cry._  
_I've never felt so much like I'm alive,_  
_I wanna open my eyes and see your face._  
_If I have to wait a thousand days,_  
_I'd still be right here right next to you._

_And I fall down,_  
_I'm on my knees cause your everthing I need,_  
_and I've made a mess of myself on my own._  
_And now I am on my face and I'm calling out your name,_  
_and I won't runaway cause I'm already home._

_and I won't runaway,_  
_I won't runaway,_  
_I won't runaway cause I'm already home._

_And I know I haven't always been_  
_Where you wanted me_  
_I'm standin' here, arms out_  
_Broken down_  
_Before you_  
_I know I haven't always been,_  
_where you wanted me,_  
_Standin' here, arms out_  
_Broken down_

_I'm on my knees cause your everthing I need,_  
_and I've made a mess of myself on my own._  
_And now I am on my face and I'm calling out your name,_  
_and I won't runaway cause I'm already home._

_Dear Diary, I know it's been a while since I've written. So much has happened. Nathan and the boys are still on tour, and loving every minute of it. I believe they're in South America at the moment. Kels is being a real trooper and going on tour with the boys even though she's almost eight months pregnant! I told her about Sykes Jr. and she's thrilled, but she really wants me to tell Nath now. I can't though, can I? If I did, he'd worry so much and people would think I'm a selfish bitch who needs to be waited on hand and foot. I'll wait till after the tour to tell him. Then we can decide what will happen. I'm sure he'd love this baby as much as I already did, wouldn't he?_

TIME LAPSE DECEMBER 12th

I ran, well waddled, down the hallway to check on the cake I was baking for Sena. Trying to get a whole house decorated for a birthday party and ready for Christmas was no easy task, especially if you're five months pregnant. Nevertheless, with the help of my "family" we got the tree up, the goodies baked, and the few presents we'd bought wrapped all before my little cousin came up.

Around three, Sena appeared at our doorstep with her duffle bag in hand. Mom still was extremely pissed that I hadn't gotten an abortion and was adamant on carrying a "bastard child" but she hadn't denied me the right to see Sena. The birthday girl smiled when she saw me and hugged my waist, careful of my slowly expanding belly. I hadn't put on a lot of weight since I found out I was pregnant. It just looked like I was maybe fifteen to twenty pounds overweight. My baby bump had grown to the size of a football, and I was damn proud of it.

"Come on, kiddo let's go see Aunt Leigh."

Nath's POV

I signed a girl's poster and made small talk with some of the fans who'd found out I was heading to the States to visit my girlfriend. I always loved talking to them, but I was anxious to hear the only voice that mattered right now.

I gathered my things, and made my way to check my luggage in before boarding the plane. I sat in my seat and piddled around on my phone while I waited for the plane to take off. Feverishly, I dialed the phone number that was seared into my brain. I had wanted to surprise China by showing up at her friends' house and sweeping her off her feet, but fuck that. I just wanted to hear her voice, now. I wanted her small body in my arms. I wanted to look into those pretty gray eyes and see her smile that beautiful smile that drove me wild. She'd been having a rough time since we'd separated. I blame that on myself, mainly. She had said I was the most constant thing in her life right now. Here lately, I was jetting off to places I can't even pronounce, meeting people who were interested in nothing but the band's publicity. And she'd gotten into a huge fight with her mom over nothing and had moved in with a friend of hers. The night I found out, she had cried so much and I couldn't even comfort her. That made me feel about two millimeters tall.

"Hello?" Asked the voice on the other end of the phone. To the best of my memory, this was Audrey, China's friend speaking.

"Uh, hi, erm is this Audrey?" I asked.

"Yeah, this Nath?" She asked back.

"Yeah, erm can I speak to China?"

"She's in the shower, right now. I can have her call you back when she gets out."

"No, that's fine. I'll just text her later, I'm kinda busy."

Audrey then lowered her voice. "Are you sitting down?"

I creased my brow in confusion. "Uh, why?"

"Look, China's been wanting to tell you this, but she's too scared, so I'm gonna tell you."

I felt my stomach drop. Was she breaking up with me? Had something happened that she hadn't told me?

"Well, go on." I said with a lot more confidence than I felt.

"Look, China didn't get kicked out of her house because her mom tried making her pay off all the bills. She was kicked out because—because she's pregnant."

"Do what?" I asked dumbly. My jetlagged brain hadn't comprehended what she'd said.

"China's been living with us because she's pregnant." Audrey repeated.

I swallowed hard. China being pregnant only meant one thing. "I'm the dad aren't I?"

There was no question about it. I already knew the answer.

"No shit Sherlock. She's one hundred percent positive it's yours."

"Look I'm on a plane heading back to the States now. Rest of the tour got canceled."

"No offense, but if you're gonna be a dickhead and try to talk her out of raising this kid you really shouldn't come back at all. She's my friend and she loves you like crazy, but I don't want to see her hurt." China's friend said honestly. I didn't blame her for sticking up for China.

"I'd never hurt her. I love her, so much. I wanna be there and help bring up the kid."

Audrey seemed satisfied with my answer and gave me directions to their house before we hung up. Now I had a whole flight to let this information set in. I was going to be a dad.

As the plane flew through the air, I kept thinking about China. How long had she known she was pregnant? A month? Two months? Three? God, she must be so scared. But why hadn't she told me about it? Audrey mentioned she was scared to. Was she scared I'd be angry or upset? That I'd leave her or make her have an abortion? It kinda hurt that she was afraid to tell me that, but I was beginning to like the idea of having a child with her. What would it look like? In my mind I pictured a perfect little angel. I could see her having China's stormy gray eyes, captivating to look at. She'd have China's pale skin, small smile, and long eyelashes. Maybe she'd even be small like her. Yeah whenever I tried to picture China and I as parents, I could see us having a beautiful baby girl.

The plane landed at the airport around six-thirty at night. I slipped my hoodie on, along with sunglasses and searched for the driver that I had waiting for me.

Once I loaded my things into the car, I gave the directions to the man and had him drive me all the way to where China was staying. I smiled as I drifted off to sleep. I was only a little over two hours away from seeing my beautiful girlfriend.


	34. I Will Always Be With You

_I will always be with you._  
_Makes no difference where_  
_your road takes you to._  
_Even if we´re apart,_  
_now we´re joined at the path._  
_Though our moment may be gone_  
_you and i will still live on._

_I will always be with you._  
_I´ll be by your side whatever you do._  
_Other mem´ries may fade,_  
_but the ones that we made_  
_are eternal as a star._  
_Now I´m part of who you are._

_And I´ll be there with you in the sound of your laughter._  
_I´ll be in the tears you cry,_  
_´cause the way you and I_  
_have touched one and other_  
_doesn´t end with goodbye._

_I wll always be with you,_  
_like a guardian angel, constant and true._  
_When you´re lost in the night_  
_and you can´t see the light_  
_my love will see you through._

_I will always be there._  
_You have me there._  
_I will always be with you._

I approached the two-story brick house, and knocked timidly. I had placed my sunglasses in my bag and taken out a scarf to wrap around my neck. After a moment, a girl, about my height came to the door and opened it. She sized me up and cleared her throat.

"You Nathan?" She asked in a Southern accent. I nodded.

"Yeah."

She opened the door wider and stepped to the side.

I gathered my things and walked in tentatively, searching for China. Immediately the smell of homemade goodies hit me. It smelled wonderful.

"Down the hall, third door on the right." Audrey said, seeming to sense what I wanted to know.

I thanked her and made my way to China's room, passing by the main sitting room where a small child was sleeping in front of a Christmas tree. I smiled at the picture. There was no doubt that Sena was the child sleeping by the tree. She'd grown quite a bit since I'd last seen her.

I found China's room and stood in front of it. I was nervous. I just couldn't imagine her having a baby bump. Would she feel ashamed? Would she hate me for leaving her then showing up unexpectedly? I took a breath and opened the door. I needed to see my girlfriend.

* * *

The room was dark when I walked in, but the TV was on. "Personal Soldier" by our band was on repeat. I looked over at the bed and China was curled up in her favorite wolf blanket, sound asleep. Her hair was splayed out on the pillow one hand reaching out for something. Her pale skin seemed to almost glow in the dim TV lighting. She was wearing one of my old shirts I'd given her. I smiled. Her chest rose and fell slowly, signaling she was deep in sleep. I quickly laid my bags aside and stripped down to my underwear and crawled into bed with her. It'd been so long since I'd been this close to her. It was killing me. Gently, I cradled her to me, inhaling her scent, feeling how soft and warm she was. She stirred and buried her face in my chest. "Nathan..." I smiled at the way she said my name. "I'm here, babe. I love you." I whispered. She sighed and drifted back to sleep, safe in my arms.

We laid like that for what seemed like only minutes, but going by the clock, we'd been laying her for over an hour and a half. I just loved lying here watching her sleep. Seeing her seem so peaceful, and at ease made her look even prettier.

As I stroked her cheek, her sleepy eyes opened slightly. She mumbled and rubbed the sleep from them before looking at me fully. A slightly puzzled look was on her face. "Nath?" She asked skeptically. I nodded.

"God, I've got to quit going to KFC so late at night. It's fucking with my head." She sighed, and shook her head to clear it.

"Babe, nothing's messing with your head. I'm here. I just got in."

She froze for a moment, then her whole face lit up. She wrapped her small arms around my neck and I held her close, enjoying the scent of her hair.

"But…how? I thought—." "Kelsey's been having issues with the baby. We canceled the rest of the tour." I interrupted.

She then withdrawled from me. "How'd you know where I was staying at?"

"I talked to Audrey. She gave me directions here." I then paused and grasped her hand.

"She also told me… that you're pregnant. Is that true?" I looked her dead in the eye. I needed to know.

She looked away, seeming ashamed. "Yeah, I am."

"How far along?" I asked monotonously.

"Five months, almost six."

"How long have you known?"

"Since about three months in." She said quietly. I sighed. Why didn't she just tell me when she found out?

"I wanted to tell you. Figured you'd be upset, or want to shut me up. I mean bringing a baby up will mess with your career. And I don't want you to feel like you have to come to my every beck and call."

I grasped her hand. "Babe, I don't care about what people say. I love you. I wanna be in this kid's life. I want to do what my dad never did. I wanna raise her right."

"You think it'll be a girl?" She asked, raising a brow.

I felt my face redden slightly, and I rubbed the back of my neck nervously.

"Erm, yeah. When-whenever I think about…us having a kid, I see a little girl."

That got her attention. She stared at me with her loving gray eyes. "You're serious about being with me? Even with this…baby growing in me?"

I looked at her in shock. "I'll always be with you, China." I said, meaning every word of it. "I love you."

**Haha sorry for the long hiatus! Hope everyone had a good holiday & I hope this chapter makes up for me being such an awful person :( **

**I wanna thank everyone of you who've taken the time to read and review my story! Especially big shout out to ChloeLouiseTWx! You're review brought tears to my eyes! :') You all are amazing! Big hugs! xx**


	35. Christmas Party

China's POV

I cuddled with Nathan on the bed, feeling so at peace with the world. It felt like a huge boulder had been lifted from my shoulders. Nathan now knew about the baby and seemed to be hell bent on bringing it up right. I'd have to remember to thank Audrey for telling him later.

"Babe," Nath said quietly as he stroked my hair.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry for not being there when I know I should've. You've been through hell and all I want is for you to smile."

I touched his cheek with my free hand. "Nath. You've been there when no one else was. You comforted me when my dad died, and stayed by my side at the funeral."

He cast me a grateful smile, but his eyes drifted down my arm to the fine lined scar I bore from where John attacked me.

"I wasn't there when that bastard laid his hands on you." He said, not looking at me. He traced the scar with his fingertips, causing a slight shiver.

"I'm still here aren't I? And who ran to the hospital and stayed with me till my mom was out of surgery and made sure Sena and me were taken care of?"

I touched his face, and leaned in close. "You did, Nath. That night I called you and told you I'd been kicked out of my house, you stayed on the phone with me all night even though you had to get up early and go to an interview."

"I just want you to be happy. I feel like I don't really deserve you." He admitted shyly.

"Well, you do babe. How do you think I feel? I'm growing into a blimp and you're like a freaking sex god for your fans."

"Love, you're beautiful just the way you are." He then leaned close to my ear. "You look so damn hot in my clothes."

I blushed about ten shades red and looked up at him through my eyelashes. "You're just saying that. Pretty soon they'll be the only clothes that fit me at all."

"You won't catch me complaining." He smirked. I smiled and absentmindedly began stroking my tummy.

"Can you feel it? The baby." Nath said quietly. I looked at him and smiled as I grabbed his hand and placed it where the baby was kicking.

I laughed at his expression as he felt the baby kick. It was priceless.

"Hay, now little one. It's your daddy." Nath cooed. I beamed with pride.

"You're gonna be so pretty, I just know it. You're gonna have your mommy's eyes and her smile." He looked up at me and smiled.

"You really think it's gonna be a little girl?" I asked. He nodded.

"Whenever I think about you carrying a kid, I just see this tiny beautiful person. She's so much like you it hurts."

It was quiet for several moments.

"I see you." I spoke up.

"Huh?"

"I try and picture what the baby might be like, and I see a little boy with your eyes, your laugh, even your hair color."

He chuckled. "Guess we'll find out soon enough, won't we?"

"You're gonna be a great daddy, Nath." I told him, kissing him lightly.

He smiled. "And you're gonna be a great mother."

The next morning I awoke in a haze. The night before felt so unreal. But it wasn't. I was here snuggled with Nathan. I looked at his sleeping form and smiled. Slowly, I drifted back to sleep for another hour or so, safe and sound in my love's arms.

*****Time Lapse** **Christmas Eve*****

"Love, take it easy. I got this." Nathan fussed as he took the big package from my arms. I smiled gratefully at him and kissed his cheek.

"What'd I do without you babe?" I asked cheekily. He chuckled. "Take that into the living room. And don't drop it! It's Sena's present!" I called out.

Charlie walked down stairs gulping down a beer, and doing a weird pelvic thrust/ dance. What the actual fuck?

"Oh yeah! Getting laid tonight! E'erbody wants 'dees nuts!" He called out, clearly drunk.

I sighed and shook my head. "Charlie, how many drinks have you had?"

He looked at me puzzled, then attempted counting. "Erm, three, no, uh, square root of pie!"

I rolled my eyes and burst out laughing. Damn my adopted "mother" for allowing Charlie to break into the alcohol early. "Clearly you're drunk off you're ass, and the party doesn't start for another two hours!"

He just grinned stupidly and stumbled a bit on the stairs.

"Audrey! Come get your fucktard brother! He's too fucking drunk to piss!" I yelled out as I waddled to the bathroom for the hundredth time. I could've sworn I was carrying a fish, with how much time I spent pissing.

Finally five o' clock came around and people started showing up for the party. Many of mine and Audrey's friends from school showed up. They really liked Nathan, which ticked me off just a wee bit. Guess it's the hormones.

As the evening wore on, I sought out a quiet spot. I was tired, and a little angry at the fact one of my supposed "friends" called me a slut and tried to hit on Nath, but I did my best to keep my emotions in check.

In my room, I plopped down on the bed and got on my laptop. I loaded my twitter and immediately went to my mentions. There were so many congratulating me and Nath on our baby and asking how it was doing (I was going in two weeks to find out the sex of our baby). Nath and I knew there was no point in hiding the pregnancy from everyone. We did a whole twit cam for them and a follow spree. Needless to say, 90% of them were so happy for us.

I replied to a few people and followed some before the door opened. I looked and Sena was in her pajamas, her hair messy and damp from a shower.

"Hay, baby. I thought you were going to bed?" I said as I patted the bed for her to sit on. She climbed up and snuggled close to me.

"I was, but Charlie and Kathy are making too much noise. And the bathroom smells." She stated, crinkling her nose adorably.

I laughed and hugged her close. No doubt she already knew what the couple was doing.

"What are you doing?" She asked, pointing to my computer screen. I smiled.

"I'm on Twitter. Wanna see some pics of me and Nath and the rest of the boys?"

She shook her head yes and picked a picture of Nathan and me on Alcatraz Island. "You look happy there." She commented.

After we finished looking through the pictures she started asking me about my baby. She was happy about it, but wanted to know more about it. A lot more than a eight year old should want to know, if you ask me.

"Can I feel it?" She asked, placing her small hand on my stomach. I nodded and guided her hand to where I knew the baby's foot or hand was. In moments it kicked and Sena pulled her hand away.

"Don't be scared baby." I told her.

"Don't it hurt you?"

I shook my head. "No, it's just like someone tapping me on the shoulder. That's all I feel."

Gingerly, I guided her hand back to my stomach. When the baby kicked, she didn't pull away. Sena actually smiled and looked at me. She then turned her gaze to my stomach and placed her small head on my tummy.

"I can't wait till you get here. You're going to love you're mommy and daddy. They're so nice and they love singing and having fun. And I'll teach you how to play games and what movies to watch, and how to count—."

I listened to my little cousin's voice, beaming. It honestly made me squeal with joy, seeing her talk to my unborn child, her baby cousin.

We then heard the sound of a picture being taken. I glanced up and saw Nathan standing in the doorway. He put his phone away and walked towards us. I smiled and he kissed me.

"Been looking for you guys." He said, picking up Sena and placing her on his lap. I smiled and interlaced our fingers.

I then saw the picture Nath tagged me in on twitter.

Nathanthewanted: My love and her young cousin. She's gonna be a great mommy xx

"Just wanted to chill for a few." I told him as I yawned. "Ya know Sykes, carrying your baby is a lot of work!" I teased him. He laughed and kissed my hand.

"Why don't we just chill and watch some telly? Everyone's too drunk or stoned to notice we're gone." He then grasped Sena's sides playfully. "And you should be in bed."

The small child cast her eyes on me, frowning. "Please, can I stay?" She begged. I looked to Nath. I could see he was dying to say yes, but wanted my okay.

"Alright. But just for a bit okay?" I said. She smiled her toothy smile up at me.


	36. In My Arms

_Don't look down, don't look back, I am beside you_  
_Close your eyes, know I'm, here._  
_I know it's hard, to let go all that defines you_  
_You feel like you'll never be whole again_

_We will find a way to erase the past_  
_Stay with me, stay here with me!_

_In my arms you'll be fine I never let go_  
_All you've lost will come again_  
_Just stay here with me_  
_Never look back, never again, it's over_  
_Everything ends here in my arms_

_Don't give in, don't let your, memories break you_  
_Let me take you away from here_

_We will find a way to make this last_  
_Stay with me, stay here with me!_

_In my arms you'll be fine I never let go_  
_All you've lost will come again_  
_Just stay here with me_  
_Never look back, never again, it's over_  
_Everything ends here in my arms_

_I'll be here forever! (Everything ends)_  
_Here in my arms!_  
_I'll be here forever! (Everything ends in my arms!)_  
_I'll be here forever! (Forever, forever)_

_In my arms you'll be fine I never let go_  
_All you've lost will come again_  
_Just stay here with me_  
_Never look back, never again, it's over_  
_Everything ends here in my arms_

"How bout we watch a movie?" Nath asked. Sena looked to him and started wracking her brain for films to watch. She then chose one from my stash under the bed. I smiled when she held it up for approval. _West Side Story-_ a classic! Nath nodded in approval and put in the DVD while Sena crawled up in the bed. Once the film was in, he climbed in the bed with us, snuggling close to me, squishing Sena in the middle of us. She didn't seem to mind though.

About halfway through the movie, Sena fell asleep, using my arm as a blanket and curled up against Nath's chest. I smiled at the sleeping child, then noticed the time. It was after one in the morning.

"Merry Christmas, babe." I whispered to Nath. He smiled and kissed my hand.

"Merry Christmas to you too, love. I love you so much." He replied.

I then removed myself from Nath and grabbed a small package from my drawer.

"It's not much, but—I couldn't not get you something." I told him as I handed it to him.

He quietly opened the wrapped package and soon his bright green/blue eyes bored into the picture that was in his card.

"That's from my first scan. See there's the feet, and the head, and the tiny hands." I said quietly, pointing out our child's features. I swear I could see happy tears rimming his eyes.

"I have an appointment in two weeks. The doc says the baby should be developed enough to find out what gender it is."

Nathan smiled and tucked the picture away in his shirt. "We'll find out, won't we?" He said cheekily grinning at me.

He then climbed out of bed and grabbed something from his bag. He pulled out three items; a small booklet, a box, and a large stuffed animal.

He handed me the booklet. "Open it."

I did as he asked, and gasped. His own handwriting, and pictures of us together covered each page. There were small love notes, reasons he loved me; it was clear he spilled his heart out in this book.

"Nath! Is-is this really how you feel about me?" I asked, tearing up. Sena stirred between us, but didn't wake.

"I can't really tell you how I feel China, cuz when I'm around you, all I can think is, 'I love this girl. How'd I get so damn lucky?' and I know I'll be gone a lot. So I want you to read a page or two of this everyday I'm gone. It'll comfort you when you're sad till I come back."

I was nearly crying at his speech. He really cared about me that much? He then opened the tiny jewelry box he had. I gasped at it. It was the "yin" (black) portion of the yin yang symbol. The circle in the center was a diamond- Nath's birthstone.

"Nath, oh my God, that's too sweet. I-I can't." I stuttered, covering my mouth. He smiled at me and yanked something out from beneath his shirt. It was the "yang" (white) portion of the symbol. Where the black circle in the center should be, there was my birthstone-garnet.

"I got these while we were in Brazil. Been wearing yours since I bought them. Now you're right here, close to my heart, no matter how far away I might be from you."

I stared at him, as I took the necklace that held his birthstone in it. "Nath, you're always in my heart. I all but cursed my mom to hell when she started talking shit about you and our baby. I love you, and nothing's changed that." I told him.

"Come on let me spoil my girl every now and then. You deserve it, babe. I love you more than anything." He said, smiling at me.

I blushed and looked down at my sleeping cousin.

"You're gonna be a great mum to our little girl." He said, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"You're so sure it's gonna be a little girl, aren't you?" I asked. He chuckled and nodded.

"I am."

I chuckled and looked at the stuffed monkey he was using as a pillow.

"You got a thing for monkeys now?" I asked cheekily. He laughed and pulled the monkey out from behind him.

"I actually got for Sena. You said she liked monkeys right?"

If possible, the smile on my face grew wider. Nathan genuinely cared about Sena.

"Yeah she does. Her favorite animal."

"I wanted to get her something. She's like your little sister and honestly one of the cutest kids I've ever met." He said, adjusting himself so that he had an arm wrapped around Sena.

"I'm sure she'll love it." I said as I tried to settle down into bed. Our child was wide-awake, and certainly letting me know.

"You okay babe?" Nath asked. I nodded and placed a hand on my almost six month pregnant stomach.

"Yeah, I'm alright. Seems lil one here feels like he should be doing his exercises right now." I said, feeling the baby kick against my belly. It felt like tiny butterflies were fluttering around. I felt slightly uncomfortable though, so I knew he'd grown quite a bit.

Nathan gently placed his warm hand on my stomach and started to slowly stroke it. It felt so nice. I leaned my head back on the pillow and relaxed as the baby's kicking slowly died down.

"You're gonna be an amazing daddy." I told him as I shut my lids, feeling oh so tired. He moved his hand from my belly and grasped my hand, placing warm kisses on it.

Everything felt wonderful. Though in the next room, I knew some of my friends were stoned, drunk, or fucking, I had my family here with me in my bed. I stole a glance at Nath and realized he had closed his eyes, still holding my hand. Sena stirred and cuddled close to Nath, burying her face in his chest.

"My big brother." She mumbled quietly.

I smiled and closed my eyes, feeling sleep take me under.


	37. Have Faith In Me

_Have faith in me_

_Cause there are things that I've seen I don't believe_  
_So cling to what you know and never let go_  
_You should know things aren't always what they seem_

_I said I'd never let you go, and I never did_  
_I said I'd never let you fall and I always meant it_  
_If you didn't have this chance then I never did_  
_You'll always find me right there, again_

_I'm going crazy_  
_Cause there are things in the streets I don't believe_  
_So we'll pretend it's alright (pretend it's alright)_  
_and stay in for the night_  
_Oh what a world_  
_I'll keep you safe here with me (with me)_

_I said I'd never let you go, and I never did_  
_I said I'd never let you fall and I always meant it_  
_If you didn't have this chance then I never did_  
_You'll always find me right there, again_

_I said I'd never let you go, and I never did_  
_I said I'd never let you fall and I always meant it_  
_If you didn't have this chance then I never did_  
_You'll always find me right there, again_

_They've got me on the outside, looking in_  
_But I can't see at all_  
_With the weight of the world on my shoulders,_  
_They just wanna see me fall_

_They've got me on the outside, looking in_  
_But I can't see at all_  
_With the weight of the world on my shoulders,_  
_They just wanna see me fall_

_Have faith in me_

_I said I'd never let you go, and I never did_  
_I said I'd never let you fall and I always meant it_  
_If you didn't have this chance then I never did_  
_You'll always find me right there, again_

_I said I'd never let you go, and I never did (Go, Did)_  
_I said I'd never let you fall and I always meant it (Fall, Meant It)_  
_If you didn't have this chance then I never did_  
_You'll always find me right there, again_

_I said I'd never let you go, and I never did_  
_I said I'd never let you go, and I never did_  
_I said I'd never let you go, and I never did_  
_I said I'd never let you go, and I never did_

***Time Lapse: Two Weeks***

I awoke to someone stroking my cheek. I muttered for whomever it was to go away. I didn't want to get up yet.

"Love, wake up. Leigh's made breakfast." My boyfriend said in his seductive, Gloucester accent.

I weakly opened my eyes and immediately his lips were on mine. That woke me up. I grasped a tufted of hair at the back of his neck and pulled him closer.

"Happy birthday, love." He whispered in my ear, winking at me.

I sat up, slightly breathless. He kissed my forehead and left the room. I then remembered I was going for my six-month scan today. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach. I was finding out the sex of my child! Yeah, happy birthday to me.

"China Akers." The nurse called out. Nervously, I stood up. Nath grabbed my hand and walked into the room with me. 'Momma Leigh' agreed to wait in the waiting room till we were finished. The nurse smiled as she told me to sit back on the chair. I swear, since I'd become pregnant, everyone was smiling at me. It kinda freaked me out, to be honest.

She smoothed the gel over my swelled belly and placed the instrument near my bellybutton. In no time she was showing us where our child's appendages were.

"Well that's interesting." She commented, stopping her movements and looking at the screen.

I gripped Nath's hand a little more, nervous about what the nurse just said. Was something wrong?

"What? Is the baby alright?" Nathan asked, clearly worried. I was too, I just couldn't speak. I was scared too.

"I never noticed this on your last scan, but look." She then pointed to a dark shape on the screen. It was something on the other side of my baby, something moving, very much alive.

"What is that?" I asked, finding my voice.

She smiled at me and opened her mouth to drop a bombshell…

* * *

Nathan's POV

"Yes, Jay! It's true!" I told my best mate.

"That's great! Congrats man. How you and China holding up? The lads are asking bout yous." Jay said. I couldn't stop smiling.

"We're good! Shit, we're better than good! We're gonna have twins!" I nearly yelled into my phone. I then proceeded to tell him that we knew the sexes as well. We were gonna have a little girl, and a little boy. I was beyond excited.

All the lads congratulated China and me before we heard Kels and Nareesha in the background.

We hung up and I turned to China. She smiled and stroked her tummy.

"So there's two lil Sykes' in there?" I asked. She laughed at me.

"I guess so. I just can't believe it."

"Well, I can. You're gonna be a great mother."

"Nath, really, what are we doing? I mean, we're just kids…HAVING KIDS!" she said, beginning to panic.

"Love, we've talked about this. Once the tykes are born, we'll move back to Gloucester with my mum and sister. They won't mind us staying with them till we get our own place."

"Nath, are you sure about all this? You can bail if you want. I don't want you staying because you feel you HAVE to. I'm giving you a way out." She said quietly.

A lump began to grow in my throat. She'd just turned 18 and I was 19. We were just kids, bringing not one, but two children into the world. We're not married; don't have a place of our own, shit everything was telling me I should bail. I should want to dump China and go back home, forget any of this ever happened. But I didn't want to. I want to stay. I want to hold China close and feel our children grow inside her. I want to be there for their birth. I want to settle down one day, maybe even have one or two more children and get married. How do I tell her though? ? I'm not going anywhere.

"China, I'm not staying out of guilt or-or because I'm obligated. Shit, the only reason I'm staying is cause I bloody love you! I love our child—children. I don't want them to grow up without a dad."

China just looked at me. "I'm just so scared. We have no money, no plan, no home, NOTHING! With you being so busy with the band how in the hell are we gonna bring up twins?"

I sat down on the bed with her and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. "Babe you know for yourself, me mum and Jess won't mind us staying with them till we can get a place of our own."

She cast her stormy eyes on me. "I guess you're right. But, moving all the way to Gloucester? I don't know if I can. I've lived here my whole life."

"Trust me, China. You'll love it there. Some really great people come from there and it's beautiful in the summer." I said, kissing her forehead. "Sides, Jess still wants to take you on a shopping trip."

She smiled a little at me. "Alright I trust you."


	38. Happy Birthday!

**Hi guys! I'm so so so sorry for the super long wait on this chapter! Please don't hate me! D; anyways, I hope you're still interested in it! :) When you finish reading, please leave me a review! I'll love you forever ;D xx Enjoy!**

China's POV

I walked to the bathroom as Nath called his mother and sister. Yeah, his family knew about me. Hell, Jess and me had been Skyping and tweeting each other for about three months. And, their mom and I had a lovely video chat about a month back. They were happy about me being pregnant, but we'd never asked them if we could stay with them. Would they turn us away, say I was a fucking whore?

I walked back to the bedroom and found Nathan sitting on the bed, beaming like a fool.

"What's up?" I asked, sitting beside him.

"Babe, mum's thrilled with the idea! She's really excited to meet you and to spoil the little ones. And Jess wants our daughter named after her." He said, chuckling to himself.

"So, they're okay with us staying with them once 'thing 1' and 'thing 2' arrive?"

He nodded. "Yeah, they are! They're already saying they're going into town tomorrow to get things for the babies' room. They're gonna spoil them so much."

"You know, we're going to have to come up with some names soon. We won't be able to call them 'thing 1' or 'thing 2' once they're born." I said jokingly, as I cuddled up to Nath.

"Sure we can! We can dye their hair blue and put on those funny lil jumpers too. It'd be so cute!" He said, smiling.

I playfully hit his arm. "Stop it! I'm being serious."

"Well, do you have any better ideas?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow.

I blushed. "Well, you know that movie, _The Exorcist_? You know the main character's little girl, Reagan? I kinda like that name. It's unique."

"So you want to name our daughter after a possessed child?" He asked, poking fun at me.

"Yes! Wait, no dammit! I just think it's a pretty name. You don't hear it very often."

Nathan laughed and kissed my cheek. "It's a lovely name. And what about the boy name though?"

I sat there thinking about it for a few moments, stroking my tummy. I rolled around several names. Alex…Chase…Derrick…. Cameron…Charles. Just then one of the babies kicked. I thought the last name again. Charles… I was rewarded with another soft kick. I smiled and took it as a sign.

"What about 'Charles'? It was my grandfather's name." I said. Nathan thought it over.

"Reagan and Charles Sykes; it sounds perfect, babe." He smiled and placed his hand on my stomach, drawing slow patterns with his hand. It was his nightly ritual. I loved it. It always seemed to calm the babies down and help me get some rest.

"I was thinking about middle names as well. Erm, what d'ya think of 'Marie'? I think it'd be pretty, and it's your mom's middle name, right?"

"Yes it is. Reagan Marie Sykes; I like that. It's beautiful." He said with obvious warmth. I sighed as I laid my head against his chest, loving how warm he was.

"What middle name would you give your son?" I asked. He sighed, seeming deep in thought and slipped a finger under the sleeve of the shirt I was wearing to stroke the skin of my shoulder.

"Well, what about Noah, or Anthony? Maximilian maybe?"

I chuckled. "And those wouldn't have anything to do with certain band mates would they?" I asked, teasingly.

He laughed. "Of course not."

"Charles…Noah, Charles…Maximilian, Charles…Anthony." I paused, smiling at the way 'Charles Anthony' rolled off my tongue. Yep, I liked the sound of it.

"Tom will be happy we used his middle name." Nath breathed out as he kissed my hair. I smiled and closed my eyes.

"Yeah, he will."

***Time Lapse April 18th, 2013***

"Sorry for dragging you out Audrey. But I didn't wanna wake Nath up. He's been busting his ass, worrying about me and the kids." I said as my raven-haired friend hopped out of the driver's seat and held the door open for me.

"Don't worry about it. I couldn't sleep anyway."

We each placed our order with the KFC cashier and took a seat at an empty booth.

"Thanks again. The twins kept me up most of the night. They're ready to meet their family." I said, taking a bite of my biscuit.

Audrey chuckled and sipped her drink. "So what d'ya got planned for Nathan's birthday?"

I smiled. "Well, bringing these two butterballs ought to be enough! Just Kidding. I actually got him a "soccer" jersey, and I made him a card."

She "awed" and I rolled my eyes, flipping her off in the process. We both laughed and continued eating our late night meal.

We finished eating and made our way to my truck to head home. As I walked outside, a spasm of pain shot through my body. I gritted my teeth and tried to ignore it. I couldn't be going into labor yet could I? Another sharp pain shot through me. This time I couldn't ignore it. I let out a small cry of pain and well thought out curse. Audrey all but screamed for me to tell her what was wrong. I tried answering her, but all that I could utter were curses and shrieks of pain. Just then I looked down at my pants. They were soaked. Shit, we both knew what that meant. Audrey quickly got me in the truck and started it up, heading to the hospital. Guess Nath's birthday presents were on their way now.


	39. I Don't Wanna Believe

**Okay guys, I know you hate me, but here's another chapter! Reviews please? Enjoy! :D xx**_  
_

_From everything I've seen, _  
_Everything good just goes away. _  
_And never had to taste of _  
_Living without a little hell to pay. _

_All I ever need was someone to give instead of take. _  
_But something about you makes it right to give it one more try. _

_And I don't wanna believe if I can't believe in you. _  
_But I'm ready to fall if you are the one that I'm falling to. _  
_And tell me I'm the one cause baby I don't wanna wasting everyday. _  
_I don't wanna believe if I can't believe in you. _

_And never been so scared, _  
_I was going nowhere but now you are here. _  
_I'm holding you too tight, _  
_Pushing you away is my darkest fear. _  
_I don't wanna break you, _  
_I don't wanna make you disappear. _  
_I fought every kind of pain, _  
_But you take it all away. _

_And I don't wanna believe if I can't believe in you. _  
_But I'm ready to fall if you are the one that I'm falling to. _  
_And tell me I'm the one cause baby I don't wanna wasting everyday. _  
_I don't wanna believe if I can't believe in you. _

_I'm giving you, what's left of me, but you will give me back together. _  
_You are giving me, what I needed all along. _

_And I don't wanna believe if I can't believe in you. _  
_But I'm ready to fall if you are the one that I'm falling to. _  
_And tell me I'm the one cause baby I don't wanna wasting everyday. _  
_I don't wanna believe if I can't believe in you. _

_I don't wanna believe if I can't believe in you. _  
_But I'm ready to fall if you are the one that I'm falling to. _

_I don't wanna believe if I can't believe in you. _  
_But I'm ready to fall if you are the one that I'm falling to._

Getting to the hospital was all a whirlwind. Audrey drove like crazy, and within ten minutes we were at the Emergency entrance. Audrey then helped me out of the truck, and all but hauled my ass inside the sterile building.

I yowled in pain as another contraction set in. Dear God this shit hurt!

"I need a fucking nurse!" Audrey yelled. Everyone stared at us. They had a pretty good idea that I was going into labor.

Just then, a sweet faced, blonde haired nurse ran up to me with a wheelchair, helping me in it. Audrey ran beside me as I was wheeled to the birthing ward.

"Audrey…call…fuck! Call… Nath! Tell him what's happening!" I managed to gasp out. She nodded and released my sweaty hand. I hoped Nath would get here soon. I needed him. Another spasm of pain wracked my body. I gripped the wheelchair rails and did my best to breathe. We were going to be fine.

Nath's POV

I was sleeping better than I had in at least a month. I'd been so worried for China and the kids, that every sigh or move she made seemed to wake me. Tonight, however, what woke me up was my phone buzzing like mad. Groggily, I opened my eyes and reached for it.

"M—'ello?" I mumbled quietly so as not to wake China.

I then heard the now familiar Southern accent of China's friend, Audrey.

"Nathan, get some clothes on and get your ass to the hospital, now! China's gone into labor!"

I then realized China's side of the bed was empty and cold. Shit!

"Shit, alright, I'll be on my way." I stated, flinging the covers off me.

"One more thing, get my mom up. Tell her what's going on so she don't freak."

I agreed and hung up before changing. Fucking hell, I was going to be a dad!

China's POV

Minutes, hours, eternity it seemed like I was "in labor". Tears streamed down my face as another killer contraction hit me. I gripped the bedrail with one hand and held Nathan's with my other. He and the nurse cooed soothing words to me, but I was honestly in too much pain to make out what they were saying. Fuck, I thought those epidurals were supposed to help?!

"Just one more push! I can see the head!" the nurse at my feet shrieked. I gripped Nathan extra hard and pushed with all my might. "FUCK!" I yelled as a huge pressure was relieved from my abdomen. I leaned my head back against the pillow, thankful I wasn't in pain anymore, and smiled as I heard one of my children's first cries.

"It's a boy!" The nurse said as she took the baby to get cleaned up. I felt tears of joy brim my eyes.

Just then another wave of pain hit me. I squealed in pain and another nurse positioned herself in between my legs.

"Alright, on the count of three I need you to push, okay sweetie?" For some reason, bile rose in my throat; dread.

"I-I can't do this! I can't—."

"Yes, you can!" Nathan screamed at me, cutting me off.

"NO I FUCKING CAN'T!" I yelled out, full on crying.

"Listen to me! You can! Look, I love you." He finished off quietly, his eyes glassy with emotion.

I bit my lip before kissing his hand.

"I love you too." I managed to whisper before another spasm of pain hit me.

I gritted my teeth and listened to the nurse. On "three" I began pushing, screaming, and crying, all with Nathan by my side.

As I felt my daughter's body slide out of my own, I cried out in relief and laid my head back, still crying. Nathan leaned his head down to mine, kissing my forehead.

"I'm so proud of you, love." He whispered.

I opened my eyes and placed a hand on his cheek, staring at his black irises. "I love you." Wait, what? Nathan didn't have black eyes.

He smiled as he kissed my hand. More and more of my vision began turning black.

"N-Nathan, I-I can't see. I cant' see!" I started freaking out as I lost more and more of my sight. I felt Nathan drop my hand and call out to a nurse. Several voices surrounded me, confusing me, but most of all, scaring me. What was going on?

Just then I had a splitting headache, and I couldn't see a damn thing! "I can't see! I can't fucking see!" I kept screaming. I knew it was stupid, but it felt like it was helping.

My headache increased and I lost my hearing. That was the last thing I remember, aside from the slight breeze across my skin from having my bed moved down the halls. The rest is black, and silence… What was going on?


	40. Lullaby

_Well, I know the feeling_  
_Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge_  
_And there ain't no healing_  
_From cutting yourself with the jagged edge_  
_I'm telling you that, it's never that bad_  
_Take it from someone who's been where you're at_  
_Laid out on the floor_  
_And you're not sure you can take this anymore_

_So just give it one more try to a lullaby_  
_And turn this up on the radio_  
_If you can hear me now_  
_I'm reaching out_  
_To let you know that you're not alone_  
_And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell_  
_'Cause I can't get you on the telephone_  
_So just close your eyes_  
_Oh, honey here comes a lullaby_  
_Your very own lullaby_

_Please let me take you_  
_Out of the darkness and into the light_  
_'Cause I have faith in you_  
_That you're gonna make it through another night_  
_Stop thinking about the easy way out_  
_There's no need to go and blow the candle out_  
_Because you're not done_  
_You're far too young_  
_And the best is yet to come_

_So just give it one more try to a lullaby_  
_And turn this up on the radio_  
_If you can hear me now_  
_I'm reaching out_  
_To let you know that you're not alone_  
_And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell_  
_'Cause I can't get you on the telephone_  
_So just close your eyes_  
_Oh, honey here comes a lullaby_  
_Your very own lullaby_

_Well, everybody's hit the bottom_  
_Everybody's been forgotten_  
_When everybody's tired of being alone_  
_Yeah, everybody's been abandoned_  
_And left a little empty handed_  
_So if you're out there barely hanging on..._

_Just give it one more try to a lullaby_  
_And turn this up on the radio_  
_If you can hear me now_  
_I'm reaching out_  
_To let you know that you're not alone_  
_And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell_  
_'Cause I can't get you on the telephone_  
_So just close your eyes_  
_Oh, honey here comes a lullaby_  
_Your very own lullaby_  
_Oh, honey here comes a lullaby_  
_Your very own lullaby_

Nathan's POV

I felt like throwing up if I'm honest, but I was so proud of China. I knew she was in a lot of pain. I kissed her forehead as we heard the sounds of our daughter crying.

"I'm so proud of you, love." I whispered.

She opened her eyes, and touched my cheek. "I love you." She said quietly.

I grabbed her hand, happier than I'd ever been before. This was perfect.

Just then China's face turned from exhausted happiness to confusion, then finally to fear.

"N-Nathan, I-I can't see. I cant' see!" She started screaming, looking nowhere in particular. I started freaking out. What the bloody hell was going on? Several nurses shoved me out of the way, babbling off medical terms I didn't understand. All I knew was something was horribly wrong.

"I can't see! I can't fucking see!" she yelled out, before giving a blood-curdling scream of pain.

"DO SOMETHING!" I yelled uncontrollably. I then heard the words "surgery" "bleed-out" and "critical". I felt like someone shot me. I was NOT going to loose her. I couldn't loose her.

I realized that China had gone quiet so I looked at her face. She could have been sleeping, but she was staring sightlessly at me. She could've been dead.

"Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to step out. This is a critical situation." One nurse said, nearly shoving me out of the room. I locked eyes with her.

"You fix whatever's wrong, damn you! She can't die!"

"We'll do our best, but I can't make any promises." She said before retreating to the room.

Everything suddenly hit me. My feet, moving of their own accord, dragged me to this quiet spot by a window. I didn't care if anyone saw me, I didn't care what people thought. I took a moment and looked at the picture of China and I on my phone. I closed my eyes, and felt the tears fall down my face. I could be loosing her; the mother of my children, the girl I fell in love with. Yeah, happy birthday to me.

China's POV

The first thing I noticed was the harsh sunlight, attacking my eyes, the dirt under my feet, the old farmhouse just ahead. Wait that was the farmhouse I went to every summer for family reunions until I was twelve. How the hell'd I get here? A small, elderly figure walked out of the house and waved to me.

"Gran?" I mumbled, shocked. This was a fucked up dream.

"Come join me deary, these cookies aren't gonna eat themselves." She said in her Southern accent.

I smiled and joined her. "Gran, what're we doing here? Where's Nath-my boyfriend? My-my kids?"

She simply chuckled and handed me a plate of cookies and a glass of lemonade.

"They're fine. Better off than we are I suppose."

"What d'ya mean? I'm confused. I'm dreaming right?" I asked, biting into a cookie.

"We're dead, sweetie." She said simply as if I asked her how the weather was.

I choked on my cookie and coughed till I cleared the blockage.

"Dead?! No-no-no there's gotta be a mistake. I'm just dreaming. I passed out after giving birth to my kids, and-and-and you, you're with Aunt Marie-Ann. Tell me I'm right!"

She looked at me sympathetically. "I would hun, but I'd be lying. I passed sometime last month. Caught the pneumonia. Just got too weak to fight it anymore."

"And me? Does this mean I'm dead too? That I'll never see my kids, or Nath again?" I was on the verge of tears. I couldn't be dead.

"Well, not yet. You see, this place is the medium. You aren't dead, but you're sure as hell not alive. The doctor's saved you before you fully passed on. This is often the toughest place to end up. Crucial choices have to be made here."

"Choices?"

"To live, or to fully pass on. I was sent here to help you."

"I do like it here." I admitted. I was no longer in pain or had a worry in the world.

"I thought you might."

"But, what about Nathan, my friends, my family?"

Gran motioned for me to look in my glass. I did so and watched as a hazy image appeared…

Nathan's POV

After a while I received a text from Audrey, asking if things were okay. I realized I'd been standing in the same place, upset for over an hour. Guess I'd better tell them what was going on.

I found Audrey and her mom waiting anxiously in the waiting room. The look on my face must've told them something.

"Oh my God, is everything okay?" Audrey asked.

I braced myself, telling her how something went wrong and I was right there. I should've done something. But I knew I couldn't have done anything. She bit her lip and walked out of the room, fuming. Leigh came up to me and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"We'll find a doctor, get an update. Keep your head up." I nodded as she left for the nurse's station, trying to get answers.

"Family of Miss China Akers?" Someone called out. I snapped my head up and saw a young RN looking around.

"I'm her boyfriend." I said, preparing myself.

She wrote something down on a sheet of paper and smiled up at me.

"I'm assuming you're the father?"

I nodded.

"They're in the NICU. If you want, I can take you to them."

I agreed and in minutes she showed me the incubator in which my children were being kept in.

As soon as I laid eyes on them, I went weak in the knees. The one with a pink colored wristband, I assumed was our daughter. She was beautiful. She had dark hair like China but had my nose. When she peeped her eyes open, I caught a glimpse of stunning gray irises, exactly like her mother's. It caused a lump in my throat. My son grunted and fumbled about, his hair extremely similar to mine. His facial features were more like China, but he definitely had my eyes and ears. They were both beautiful.

"Excuse me, sir, are you their father?" Another nurse asked. I turned and faced her.

"Yeah I am."

"I need you to give me their names for the paperwork." She said curtly. The whole conversation China and I had that night in her bedroom flashed through my brain.

"_Well, you know that movie, The Exorcist? You know the main character's little girl, Reagan? I kinda like that name. It's unique." _

"So you want to name our daughter after a possessed child?" I'd laughed at her unusual name for our daughter.

"_And what about Charles for the boy? It was my grandfather's name." She'd told me._

"Reagan Marie and Charles Anthony Sykes; it sounds perfect, babe." I said, kissing her hair.

"Sir, I need names." The nurse repeated. I shook my head slightly to clear it as I wrote down the names.

"Reagan Marie Sykes and Charles Anthony Sykes." She said, reading out loud what I'd written.

I grunted in approval and caught her arm before she left the room. "D'ya have any news on China Akers?"

She looked through her papers and sighed. "Looks like she's out of surgery, but she's in a coma. Don't know how long she'll be like that. I'm sorry."

"Please, can you tell me what room she's in?"

She agreed and I snapped a picture of my children before disappearing from the NICU in search of China's room.

**Well tell me whatcha think! I always love reading ya'll's reviews :) xx**


	41. Forever

_Sometimes I feel so cold_  
_Like I'm waiting around all by myself_  
_Loneliness gets so old_  
_I'm in the lost and found sitting on the shelf_  
_Been stuck for way too long_  
_But I hear Your voice_  
_You're who I'm counting on_

_Oh, tell me You're here_  
_That You will watch over me forever_  
_Oh, take hold of my heart_  
_Show me You'll love me forever_

_know that You can tell_

_When I start to let my hope fade away_  
_I need to catch myself_  
_Open my ears to hear You calling my name_  
_Been fighting way too long_  
_But I hear Your voice_  
_You had me all along_

_When I'm starting to drown_  
_You jump in to save me_  
_When my world's upside down_  
_Your hands, they shake me and wake me_

_[Chorus x2]_

China's POV

Tears rimmed my eyes as I looked back at my Gran. That was the first proper look I'd had of my children.

"They're so beautiful." I whispered.

"They are. I'm sure you'd make a great mother, if you make that choice." She said warmly.

I bit my lip. "What if I'm not? What if I'll be a terrible mother? They're so fragile."

Gran placed a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"I watched you carry them, China. Everyone could tell you loved them, even though you were scared. And Nathan—that boy would go through hell for you, and you him. You two will be great parents, if you decide to go back."

"What if I wanna stay? Would I still be able to see them?" I asked, feeling slightly guilty at what I was considering.

Gran looked at me sympathetically. "Are you certain about the choice you're making?"

I bit my lip. Was I?

Nathan's POV

I watched as yet another nurse came in and drew some blood. I squirmed a little in my seat, seeing the needle pierce her skin. The thing that made me the most upset was that she didn't even flinch.

"How is she?" I asked. My voice was hoarse from sleep.

"She's a fighter. But I wouldn't get your hopes up. She's still in a severe coma. Might not wake up."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and rubbed my scratchy, red eyes. The nurse placed a hand on my shoulder.

"All I'm saying is, you might want to start thinking about your options."

I nodded, not taking my eyes off China. Her pale face looked shallow, bags were under her eyes. God, I wished she'd wake up!

Just then my phone buzzed. I looked at the caller id and it was Tom.

"Ello'" I said.

"Mate, how is she?" Worry dominated his tone.

I sighed. "She's still in a coma. D-doctors don't know if she'll—if she'll wake up." Fresh tears rimmed my eyes.

"You still with her?"

I sighed. "Yeah. Stayed the night. Shit, I can't leave her."

"Mate you sound fucking awful. Go get something to eat, take a shower. Bet you haven't slept at all."

"Nurses kept coming in and checking on her. Couldn't sleep."

"Go. How're the babies?"

"They're okay. Shit, they're beautiful. So much like her."

"That's great. But listen to me. Go home. Get some rest." He said a little more forcefully.

"Tom, d'ya—shit what if she dies? How am I gonna raise two kids?" I felt myself loosing it.

"Fucking shut it, Nath! She's not dead, she's not gonna die." Tom all but yelled at me. "Now go get some rest. Keep us updated, okay?"

I grunted. "Okay. Hay, how're you and Kels?"

"We're good mate. Lil Alexander's doing good and Kels is doing great. The rest of the lads are worried sick about you and China though."

"That's good. Tell the guys I said not to worry. You're right. China's a fighter." I said, hearing more confidence in my voice than I felt.

"Right, well get some rest, and something to eat. We're all here for ya."

"Thanks mate it means a lot."

We then hung up, and I flopped back in my chair. No way in hell was I leaving until China woke up. Memories of us played like a silent movie in my head.

I stood up and walked to her bed, sitting on the edge, grasping her hand lightly.

"China," I breathed out. Is it weird her name seemed to get stuck in my throat? That was all I could say for the longest time. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take another nurse walking in, I couldn't take another needle being stuck in her skin, I couldn't take the sound of the heart monitor beeping back at me, and I sure as hell couldn't take the fact that the mother of my children was possibly dying.

"China, please, you have to wake up. I—I can't stand it, not hearing your laugh, seeing you smile. Our-our children are so beautiful. I named them like we agreed. Charles looks like me, just like you said. Reagan has your eyes, your hair, a spitting image of you."

I took a deep breath to calm myself down. "They-they say you won't wake up. You're in some sorta coma. But you're a fighter. I need you to fight. If not for me, then for Charles and Regan. For little Sena. You can't give up on me. I—I won't be able to raise them by myself. I need you. You've just gotta wake up." I felt myself in tears. I couldn't loose China. I just couldn't.


	42. I'll Follow You

_If I could find assurance to leave you behind_

_I know my better half would fade_  
_And all my doubt is a staircase for you_  
_Opened out of this space_  
_The first step is the one you believe in_  
_The second one might be profound._

_I'll follow you down through the eye of the storm_  
_Don't worry I'll keep you warm._  
_I'll follow you down while we're passing through space_  
_I don't care if we fall from grace_  
_I'll follow you down_

_You can have the money and the world_  
_The angels and the pearls_  
_Even trademark the color blue_  
_Just like the tower we never built_  
_In the shadow of all the guilt_  
_When the other hand was pointed at you_  
_Yeah the first step is the one you believe in_  
_The second one might be profound._

_I'll follow you down, through the eye of the storm_  
_Don't worry I'll keep you warm._  
_I'll follow you down, while we're passing through space_  
_I don't care if we fall from grace_  
_I'll follow you down to where forever lies_  
_Without a doubt I'm on your side_  
_There's nowhere else that I would rather be_  
_I'm not about to compromise, give you up to say goodbye_  
_I'll guide you through the deep I'll keep you close to me!_

_I'll follow you down through the eye of the storm_  
_Don't worry I'll keep you warm._  
_I'll follow you down while we're passing through space_  
_I don't care if we fall from grace_  
_I'll follow you.._

_If I could find assurance to leave you behind_  
_I know my better half would fade_  
_I'll follow you down._

Another damn day. Another day had passed and China still wasn't waking up. I was still staying at the hospital, not daring to leave China or the children. Leigh had brought me a change of clothes, a thing of shampoo, some soap, and a razor to clean up. As I ran the razor over my chin, a memory came flooding back…

We were in San Francisco. Our first gig of the tour was tonight, but today we were all going out to have a bit of fun. As I started getting ready, shaving to be exact, China looked at me. I chuckled.

"What?" I asked.

She shook her head and smiled. "Nothing."

She then walked off to the bedroom, but I wasn't going to let her off that easy.

"Oh no you don't!" I shouted as I chased her, effectively pinning her down on the spare bed.

She giggled and tried to escape. "Let me go dammit!"

I laughed, holding her hands above her head. "Nope, not until you tell me what you were looking at earlier."

She refused, and I did the only thing logical—tickle torture her.

After she'd run out of breath she finally agreed to tell me.

"You honestly don't know how much your chin scruff turns me on. It's so hot." She said, her voice laced with a hint of lust. I smirked and kissed her, liking the position we were in. God, I loved this girl…

My mind snapped back to reality as I felt a sting of pain. I'd nicked my chin with the razor.

"Son of a bitch." I muttered irritably, rubbing away the blood.

After I'd cleaned up, I walked down to the NICU to see my children. They were now two days old, still so tiny and fragile. They'd lost some of their pink color and could open their eyes fully. There was no doubt that Charles was my son and Reagan was a spitting image of her mother. I placed my hand in the slot and slowly little Charles grabbed my finger. As his skin touched mine, I gasped.

"Hay, lil guy. It's me. I'm your daddy." I said warmly. My eyes watered but I didn't care. I then looked at my daughter.

"Hay, beautiful." She grunted and wrinkled her nose. In that moment she looked so much like China.

"Now don't be getting all fussy love. Don't wanna mess up that pretty face do we?" I stroked her cheek with my thumb. She calmed down some and I smiled down at both of my children. They were perfect.

"You can hold them if you want." A voice said. I nearly jumped out of my skin, and turned around. A blonde haired nurse smiled at me and repeated her sentence.

She helped me get them out of the incubator and placed little Reagan in my arms. Something clicked in me as my little girl stared up at me. Instinctively I began rocking her back and forth humming the first song that popped into my head.

The nurse then showed me how to feed both of them and burp them properly, as well as changing their diapers. That definitely wasn't a pleasant experience.

* * *

As I went back to China's room, I sighed. She'd be lying there lifeless, helpless. I just couldn't take it.

I walked in as a nurse finished taking her vitals.

"How is she?" I asked.

The nurse glanced at the clipboard. "Well, her vitals are good. Her heart seems stronger now."

"D'ya know what caused her to slip into a coma?"

"We believe she hemorrhaged while giving birth. Being her first birthing and delivering twins, I'm not surprised. She lost an awful lot of blood though."

I sat down on the edge of the bed and took China's hand in my own.

"Hay love, I'm back." I said, kissing her hand and placing it on my cheek.

"I shaved some of the scruff off, but not all of it. I remember how you said you liked it." I paused and moved a strand of her hair.

"I went and saw our children. I even got to hold them. The nurse showed me how to burp, feed, and change them too." I sighed. It felt weird talking to myself.

"You're gonna be a great mum. I just wish you'd wake up. I don't know how much longer I can stand it. I just wanna hear your laugh, your voice, see you smile again."

I then looked dead at her. "I miss you. I just can't see anyone else in my life…"

I closed my eyes as I stroked her hand, loving the daintiness of it.

Something close to a miracle happened. I thought I felt China squeeze my hand. But she was still in a coma wasn't she?

"Love did you just do that?" I asked, feeling really dumb for having to ask.

She definitely squeezed my hand back and slowly her eyes fluttered open.

"Mmm that feels so nice." She mumbled and coughed dryly. I stopped what I was doing and stared at her. She was awake. She was moving. This couldn't be real could it?

"Babe, what's wrong? Something on my face?" She asked.

"No, it's just, you've been in a coma for two days. Had me so worried!" I said.

"Two days?! Oh my God! What—what about the kids? Did—are they okay?" She asked.

I nodded. "They're fine, shit better than fine. They're so beautiful." I then pulled out my phone and started showing her the few pictures I had of them.

"Charles looks so much like you." She whispered snuggling her head on my shoulder.

I kissed her head. "Reagan looks like you. Has your eyes and your hair. Absolutely perfect."

She sighed. "I missed this."

**Alright guys I ain't gonna lie. It's been fucking epic, but I feel like this story is almost over, maybe another chapter or two at the most. I have a cool idea for a sequel, but I wanna know if you guys would like one! It'd be called "Love Like Winter" sooo please pm me, leave me a review saying 'yeah I want a sequel' or 'no i don't want a sequel' I love ya'll's feedback! :D Much love peeps 3**


	43. I Found You

_She wants me to come over_  
_I can tell her eyes don't lie_  
_She's calling me in the dark_  
_She moves, I swear the room around her lights up like the sky_  
_Confidence like a rock star_

_I wanna put my hands on her hands_  
_Feel the heat from her skin_  
_Get reckless in the starlight_  
_I'm moving to the beat of her heart_  
_I was so lost until tonight, tonight_

_I found you, in the darkest hour_  
_I found you, in the pouring rain_  
_I found you, when I was on my knees_  
_And your light brought me back again_  
_Found you in the river of pure emotion_  
_I found you, my only truth_  
_I found you with the music playing_

_I was lost 'til I found you, you, you_  
_'Til I found you, you, you_

_The night is getting older_  
_And I can't come off this high_  
_I don't want this here to end_  
_I know she feels the same_  
_Cause I can see it in her eyes_  
_She says, "Can we start again?"_

_I wanna put my hands on her hands_  
_Feel the heat from her skin_  
_Get reckless in the starlight_  
_She's moving to the beat of my heart_  
_We were so lost until tonight, tonight_

_I found you, in the darkest hour_  
_I found you, in the pouring rain_  
_I found you, when I was on my knees_  
_And your light brought me back again_  
_Found you in the river of pure emotion_  
_I found you, my only truth_  
_I found you with the music playing_

_I was lost 'til I found you, you, you_  
_'Til I found you, you, you_

_I said, people_  
_We're all looking for love tonight_  
_But sometimes we can't see it_  
_We're all blinded by the light_  
_And we all get low, all get low_  
_Searching for that peace of mind_  
_Just when I have given up_  
_Were looking for some kind of sign_

_That's when I found you, you, you_  
_I found you, you, you_  
_I found you, you, you_  
_I found you, you, you_

_I found you, in the darkest hour_  
_I found you, in the pouring rain_  
_I found you, when I was on my knees_  
_And your light brought me back again_  
_Found you in the river of pure emotion_  
_I found you, my only truth_  
_I found you with the music playing_

_I was lost 'til I found you_

China's POV

***Time Lapse 4 months. July 30th 2013***

_Dear Diary, I'm so excited/nervous. Today Nath and I are flying to his hometown, Gloucester with the twins. We're moving there permanently. His mom and sis are very supportive and are letting us stay with them till we can get a place of our own. I'm a little scared since this is the first time I'll be meeting Karen and Jess face to face and I'll be leaving America. The twins are doing amazing! They're crawling about and so full of energy. I love them to death, and so does daddy Nath. Bringing the twins into the world has affected me somewhat, however. Thanks to me hemorrhaging after I gave birth, I have a heart arrhythmia- that is, every now and then my heart will "flutter" and beat out of pace. It feels weird but other than that, I'm fine. Doc said it shouldn't really be a real issue until I hit my sixties or seventies…_

I gathered the diaper bag and made sure Charles had his pacifier.

"Aw, I'm gonna miss you short shit!" Audrey said, hugging me. I laughed and hugged her back.

"I'm gonna miss the whole lot of 'em. If they're anything like their mom and dad, those kids are gonna be evil as shit!" Momma Leigh said, stubbing out her cigarette. We all laughed and Nath walked back into the house.

"Babe, the car's loaded up. You ready?" He asked, kissing my cheek. I smiled, and heard someone, probably Leigh, "aw" at us.

"Yeah, Charlie's feeding Reagan, and I've got Charles." I said.

Charlie finished feeding our daughter and handed her over to Nathan. "Gonna miss you Tokyo!" he said, hugging me.

"Miss you too Charlie. I'll miss all of ya'll!"

Leigh smiled like a proud momma. "We'll miss you too. Won't be the same without the little butterballs and you guys around."

I hugged my second momma and handed her Charles.

"Hay baby, you okay?" I asked my little cousin, Sena. She was still living with mom, but came up to see me leave.

She nodded her head and hugged me close. "Don't worry, okay? When we get a place of our own, I'll have Audrey bring you to visit."

She then moved to hug Nathan's leg.

"Alright, you guys better go. This is getting too damn emotional." Audrey joked, acting like she was gonna cry.

I took Charles from Leigh and Nathan readjusted Reagan on his hip. We walked out to the rental car that was waiting for us. Yeah, after coming home from the hospital, I sold my truck for money to buy plane tickets to England so we had to rent a car to get to the airport.

I climbed into the passenger's seat after I buckled Charles into his car seat and waited for Nath to climb in the front. Once he'd buckled little Reagan he got in the driver's seat and fired up the engine.

"You alright, love?" He asked me, taking my hand. I nodded.

"Just thinking. Close to this time last year was the day I met you. Look at how much has changed." I told him.

"Things have changed drastically, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I have an amazing girlfriend, and two beautiful children. What more could I want?" He said as he kissed my hand. I smiled and we started off down the road to the airport…

***After the flight***

The flight to Gloucester was actually not that bad. The bad weather held off and there was very little turbulence, thank God. At the airport, Nath's mom and sister were waiting for us.

"Nathan!" squealed, I presume, Jess as she flung herself at her brother. He smiled and picked her up, spinning her around. I smiled and awkwardly stood there, placing each of the children's carriers on the ground. I stretched my back and Karen smiled at me.

"This must be China." She said warmly. I blushed and Nathan smiled, extending his hand out to me. I took it and he held me to his side.

"It's so nice to finally meet you love. Nathan here won't shut up about you." I think he and I both blushed.

"Oh my God! Is this my niece and nephew?!" Jess asked, beaming at our children.

"They sure are." I said, walking away from Nathan and unstrapping Reagan from her carrier.

"Go ahead, you can hold her." I said, holding my daughter out for Jess.

Jess timidly took Reagan from me and cooed down at the small child. Nathan wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my cheek.

"She's beautiful, Nathan. Both you're girls are." His mom, Karen said, looking from her son to me. I blushed and smiled. I think I'd like being a part of this family.

***A Day Later***

I unloaded the small hamper of clean clothes on the bed and started folding them while Nathan was in the shower. Both of us were enjoying a little piece and quiet while Jess and Karen had the wee ones for the day. It was a much-needed blessing. Jetlag's a bitch especially with two cranky children and a sleep-deprived mother.

As I continued folding laundry, I heard Nathan walk out of the bathroom.

"Oi, love can ya toss me a shirt?" He asked. I found one of his black t-shirts and turned to hand it to him. I had to do a double take. He was clad in nothing but a towel wrapped loosely around his waste and his hair was dripping wet. I bit my lip quickly and went back to the laundry. Just then, strong arms flipped me over on my back. I yelped out in surprise.

"Fuck the shirt. Don't need it." Nathan said in a seriously husky voice. He then began kissing my jaw, my neck, and my collarbone.

"What d'ya need then?" I asked, wrapping my hands around his neck.

"You and your beautiful ass naked." He said with a deviant wink. I blushed as he fiddled with my top, grinding himself into me, turning me on even more.

"Your mom? Jess? Won't they be back soon?" I asked, only slightly worried about them, and more concerned about getting my boyfriend's dick in me.

"Nope. I made sure they kept them till dark. Need some time alone with my girl." He said, nipping at my neck. I moaned and wrapped my legs around his waist.

His fingers slid down to remove my top, causing goose bumps along my spine.

"And I need some alone time with my man." I whispered.

Honestly, I couldn't be happier with life…

**Omg I can't believe this story is over! D: But it may not be! I have some ideas for a sequel but I need your opinions! PM me or leave me a review saying yes or no to a sequel orrr you can contact me on twitter SOA_angel_TW :) Hope you enjoyed the story! **


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